A CKNOWLEDGMENTS
My mother, Karen Bates, encouraged me, inspired me, supported me and spent countless hours editing with me over frozen yogurt. She also laughed with me about all my embarrassing moments, then suggested I work them into a novel, thus creating my current way of life. Best of all, she loves me, awkwardness included. Thanks, Mom! And to the rest of my family: Im still not picking up the tab. Deal with it.
Id also like to thank my super agent, Laurie McLean, my fantastic editor, Megan Records, and all the great people at Kensington Teen. Thanks for your support!
F OOD FOR T HOUGHT
At the beginning of the novel, Mackenzie blames her mistimed elementary school ballet accident for her parents divorce. She also feels like her dad ditched them, then replaced them for the ballet teacher and a new family. Have you ever blamed yourself for something that was beyond your control? If you thought you were being replaced, how would you handle it?
Everyone at Smith High School thinks of Mackenzie as the resident nerd because she does well in class and is willing to raise her hand when she knows the answer. Does this make her a geek? Is that such a bad thing to be? How does being an outsider come in handy for Mackenzie and her friends?
The Notables at Smith High School make popularity look easy and maintain a social hierarchy within the school. How does this change when Mackenzie becomes famous? Are they really as put together up close as Mackenzie first thought they were? Where do you see yourself fitting into your schools social scene? Do you think you would be happier somewhere else?
Mackenzie considers herself an Invisible, and therefore below the notice of Notables. How does this perception help when she begins tutoring Logan? How does it hold her back? How does Logan and Mackenzies relationship change as she is thrust into the spotlight?
Chelsea Halloway has a talent for making Mackenzie feel small and insignificant ... and Mackenzie doesnt know how to deal with it. How should she have tried to stand up for herself? Was Mackenzies technique of staying Invisible the smartest path for her to take?
When the video of Mackenzie knocking over Alex Thompson hits YouTube, her life gets turned upside down with the force of the insane media attention. Does the media go too far when they chase her and Logan into the mall? Why does the line blur between public and private when someone becomes famous? How would you handle being the center of national attention?
The YouTube video makes Mackenzie the center of attention, and even though she doesnt want the attention, it comes with some really great perks: great clothes, backstage concert tickets, and access to celebrities. What would you want most if you were to become famous? What aspect of being a celebrity would you hate? Would it make a difference what thrust you into the national spotlight, whether it was because of an accident or an unseen talent?
Mackenzie is very responsible when it comes to money, but it can also be a sensitive issue for her. How does her reaction to money differ from Logans attitude to it? To Spencers? Is it as simple as when you have money you arent afraid of spending it? Is it possible to become too obsessed with saving money rather than spending it?
Chapter 1
Y ou probably think you know me ... and I understand why. Youve probably read about me on AOL or heard Conan OBrien or Jon Stewart reference me for the punch line of some joke. Its okay if you havent. In fact, I prefer it that way. But lets be honest: the whole world knows about Mackenzie Wellesley and her social awkwardness. Except maybe some people in Burma and Sudan ... but you get my point.
The thing is, despite all thats been said about me (and there has been a lot), only a handful of people actually understand how I was able to go from a boring high school student to a pop culture reference in the space of a week. Thats why I am even bothering to explain. Dont worry: this wont be one of those stupid celebrity autobiographies where I describe my sordid past and complain a lotmy past isnt all that sordid, and thats just lame.
Let me start by saying that Ive never hungered for the spotlight. My younger brother, Dylan, was always the one who craved The Big Moment. You know: catch the football in overtime with a few seconds left on the clock to score the winning touchdown. The very idea of a stadium full of people watching me makes me want to hurl. Thats probably due to my elementary school ballet recital. I remember every detail perfectly. My mom was in the audience cradling a baby Dylan in her lap as I leaped across the stage. I was craning my neck, searching for my dad in the crowd, and worried that he wouldnt show up. Thats when I glanced into the wings and spotted him right behind the curtains ... making out with my dance instructor.
We have the recital on tape. You can tell when my world imploded by the way my brown eyes expanded and my shoulder-length brown hair whipped my face as I looked from my dad to my happily waving mom. But it gets worseso much worse. I was frozen while all the other little girls twirled and flounced around me. I stumbled out of formation andblinded by the stage lightsI tripped on the sound system cable and went flying right into the curtains, which promptly fell down and revealed my dad sucking face. Thats when I decided it was better to be invisible than to fall on your face in a ridiculous pink tutu.
Freud would probably say thats why I suffer from a fear of crowds and attention. And in this specific case I think Freud might have a point. Ive been paranoid ever since that damn recitaland the divorce. I avoid the spotlight. I guess you could say that I strive for anonymity. But Im fine with my geekdomtotally cool with the fact that I never get invited to parties. I fill a certain niche at my school, the local nerd, and its a role that Ive gone to a lot of effort to create for myself. And while, yes, a normal day for me means three AP classes, it really isnt so bad. Definitely stressful, but I like itespecially because itll look great to financial aid committees who decide on college scholarships.
So, yeah, Im happy with my life. Ive got friends, a job, and an awesome GPA to propel me into a solid university ... or at least I did, until I became famous.
Chapter 2
H ey,Kenzie. Youll never guess what happened! My best friend, Jane Smith, has been saying that to me almost every morning on the school bus for the past eleven years. Yes, she has the unfortunate distinction of having the most boring name of all time. She is also the only person who can call me anything besides Mackenzie. You have to make some concessions for friends who have stood by you since elementary school. But not even Jane is allowed to call me Mack. Thats one nickname Ive placed off limits.
Okay, what happened, Jane, I responded, rolling my eyes.
Jane grinned and tucked a strand of her dark auburn hair behind an ear. So I was sitting in the library.
Im shocked. Jane made Hermione Granger look like a slacker in the studying department. If she didnt have her head in a book at the school library, then she was shelving them at Fiction Addiction Used Bookstore.
Funny. So I was in the library finishing my AP Calc homework when Josh asked if Id seen Battlestar Galactica . She sighed. I kid you not, sighed . That means hes into me, right?
I rolled my eyes again and tried to ignore that my best friend was practically swooning over a boy who wanted to live inside the World of Warcraft. After all, she cant help being a hopeless romantic ... just like I cant help being a cynic.