• Complain

Falconer Ian - Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary

Here you can read online Falconer Ian - Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary full text of the book (entire story) in english for free. Download pdf and epub, get meaning, cover and reviews about this ebook. City: New York, year: 2010, publisher: Little Brown & Co, genre: Art. Description of the work, (preface) as well as reviews are available. Best literature library LitArk.com created for fans of good reading and offers a wide selection of genres:

Romance novel Science fiction Adventure Detective Science History Home and family Prose Art Politics Computer Non-fiction Religion Business Children Humor

Choose a favorite category and find really read worthwhile books. Enjoy immersion in the world of imagination, feel the emotions of the characters or learn something new for yourself, make an fascinating discovery.

No cover
  • Book:
    Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary
  • Author:
  • Publisher:
    Little Brown & Co
  • Genre:
  • Year:
    2010
  • City:
    New York
  • Rating:
    5 / 5
  • Favourites:
    Add to favourites
  • Your mark:
    • 100
    • 1
    • 2
    • 3
    • 4
    • 5

Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary: summary, description and annotation

We offer to read an annotation, description, summary or preface (depends on what the author of the book "Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary" wrote himself). If you haven't found the necessary information about the book — write in the comments, we will try to find it.

The author presents a collection of animal-themed essays.;The cat and the baboon -- The migrating warblers -- The squirrel and the chipmunk -- The toad, the turtle, and the duck -- The motherless bear -- The mouse and the snake -- The parenting storks -- The faithful setter -- The crow and the lamb -- The sick rat and the healthy rat -- The cow and the turkey -- The vigilant rabbit -- The judicious brown chicken -- The parrot and the potbellied pig -- Hello kitty -- The grieving owl.

Falconer Ian: author's other books


Who wrote Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary? Find out the surname, the name of the author of the book and a list of all author's works by series.

Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary — read online for free the complete book (whole text) full work

Below is the text of the book, divided by pages. System saving the place of the last page read, allows you to conveniently read the book "Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary" online for free, without having to search again every time where you left off. Put a bookmark, and you can go to the page where you finished reading at any time.

Light

Font size:

Reset

Interval:

Bookmark:

Make
ALSO BY DAVID SEDARIS When You Are Engulfed in Flames Dress Your Family in - photo 1
ALSO BY DAVID SEDARIS

When You Are Engulfed in Flames

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

Me Talk Pretty One Day

Holidays on Ice

Naked

Barrel Fever

Copyright 2010 by David Sedaris

Illustrations copyright 2010 by Ian Falconer

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Little, Brown and Company

Hachette Book Group

237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017

Visit our website at www.HachetteBookGroup.com.

www.twitter.com/littlebrown.

First eBook Edition: October 2010

Little, Brown and Company is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The Little, Brown name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Acknowledgment is made to Public Radio Internationals This American Life, on which the following stories were originally broadcast in a slightly different form: The Cat and the Baboon, The Squirrel and the Chipmunk, The Cow and the Turkey, The Parrot and the Potbellied Pig, and Hello Kitty. The Cow and the Turkey also appeared in Holidays on Ice.

Photo credits: surgical glove hand (p. ) courtyardpix / Fotolia

ISBN: 978-0-316-13127-8

F OR MY SISTER G RETCHEN

The Cat and the Baboon

The cat had a party to attend and went to the baboon to get herself groomed - photo 2

The cat had a party to attend, and went to the baboon to get herself groomed.

What kind of party? the baboon asked, and she massaged the cats neck in order to relax her, the way she did with all her customers. Hope its not that harvest dance down on the riverbank. My sister went last year and said shed never seen such rowdiness. Said a fight broke out between two possums, and one gal, the wife of one or the other, got pushed onto a stump and knocked out four teeth. And they were pretty ones too, none of this yellowness you find on most things that eat trash.

The cat shuddered. No, she said. This is just a little get-together, a few friends. That type of thing.

Will there be food? the baboon asked.

Something, the cat sighed. I just dont know what.

Course its hard, the baboon said. Everybody eating different things. You got one who likes leaves and another who cant stand the sight of them. Folks have gotten so picky nowadays, I just lay out some peanuts and figure they either eat them or they dont.

Now, I wouldnt like a peanut, the cat said. Not at all.

Well, I guess youd just have drinks, then. The trick is knowing when to stop.

Thats never been a problem for me, the cat boasted. I drink until Im full, and then I push myself away from the table. Always have.

Well, youve got sense, then. Not like some of them around here. The baboon picked a flea from the cats head and stuck it gingerly between her teeth. Take this wedding I went tolast Saturday, I think it was. Couple of marsh rabbits got marriedyou probably heard about it.

The cat nodded.

Now, I like a church service, but this was one of those write-your-own-vows sorts of things. Neither of them had ever picked up a pen in their life, but all of a sudden theyre poets, right, like thats all it takesbeing in love.

My husband and I wrote our own vows, the cat said defensively.

Sure you did, countered the baboon, but you probably had something to say, not like these marsh rabbits, carrying on that their love was like a tender sapling or some damn thing. And all the while they had this squirrel off to the side, plucking at a harp, I think it was.

I had a harp player at my wedding, the cat said, and it was lovely.

I bet it was, but you probably hired a professional, someone who could really play. This squirrel, I dont think shed taken a lesson in her life. Just clawed at those strings, almost like she was mad at them.

Well, Im sure she tried her best, the cat said.

The baboon nodded and smiled, the way one must in the service industry. Shed planned to tell a story about a drunken marsh rabbit, the brother of the groom at last weeks wedding, but there was no point in it now, not with this client anyway. Whatever she said, the cat disagreed with, and unless she found a patch of common ground she was sure to lose her tip. You know, she said, cleaning a scab off the cats neck, I hate dogs. Simply cannot stand them.

What makes you bring that up? the cat asked.

Just thinking, the baboon said. Some kind of spaniel mix walked in yesterday, asking for a shampoo, and I sent him packing, said, I dont care how much money you have, Im not making conversation with anyone who licks his own ass. And the moment she said it, she realized her mistake.

Now, whats wrong with that? the cat protested. Its good to have a clean anus. Why, I lick mine at least five times a day.

And I admire you for it, the baboon said, but youre not a dog.

Meaning?

On a cat its classy, the baboon said. Theres a grace to it, but a dog, you know the way they hunker over, legs going every which way.

Well, yes, the cat said. I suppose you have a point.

Then they slobber and drool all over everything, and what they dont get wet, they chew to pieces.

That they do. The cat chuckled, and the baboon relaxed and searched her memory for a slanderous dog story. The collie, the German shepherd, the spaniel mix she claimed to have turned away: they were all good friends of hers, and faithful clients, but what would it hurt to pretend otherwise and cross that fine line between licking ass and simply kissing it?

The Migrating Warblers

The yellow warbler would often claim that she was fine until she hit - photo 3

The yellow warbler would often claim that she was fine until she hit Brownsville. Thenwham! shed tell her friends. I dont know if its the air or what, but whenever we pass it on our migration, I have to stop and puke my guts out.

Indeed she does, her husband would say, laughing.

An hour or twos rest is all I need, but isnt it strange? Not Olmito or Bayview or Indian Lake, but Brownsville. Brownsville every time.

The birds she was talking to would try to sound sympathetic or, at the very least, interested. Hmmmm, theyd say, or, Brownsville, I think I have a cousin there.

From the southern tip of Texas, the couple would fly over Mexico and then into Central America. My familys been wintering in Guatemala for as long as I can remember, the warbler would explain. Every year, like clockwork, here we come by the tens of thousandsbut do you think any of those Spanish-speaking birds have bothered learning English? Not on your life!

Its really horrible, her husband would say.

Well, funny too, his wife would insist. Horrible and funny. Like one time I asked this little Guatemalan bird, I said, Don day est tass las gran days mose cass de cab eyza?

Here her listeners would cock their heads, confused and more than a little impressed. Wait a second, you speak that stuff?

Oh, Ive picked some up, the warbler would say in that offhand way of hers. I mean, really, what choice do I have? I guess Im a pretty quick study. At least Ive been told I am.

Next page
Light

Font size:

Reset

Interval:

Bookmark:

Make

Similar books «Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary»

Look at similar books to Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary. We have selected literature similar in name and meaning in the hope of providing readers with more options to find new, interesting, not yet read works.


Reviews about «Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary»

Discussion, reviews of the book Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary and just readers' own opinions. Leave your comments, write what you think about the work, its meaning or the main characters. Specify what exactly you liked and what you didn't like, and why you think so.