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Text copyright 2013 Dan Harmon
Illustrations copyright 2013 Meghan Doherty
Photo Credits: Cover: (top and bottom right) courtesy of the Everett Collection, (bottom left) courtesy of Photofest; : courtesy of the Everett Collection.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or used in any form or by any meansgraphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or information storage and retrieval systemswithout the written permission of the publisher.
Young Adult Nonfiction / Humor / General
Library of Congress control number: 2012943318
ISBN: 978-1-936976-36-2
Cover and interior design: Marissa Feind
Manufactured in the U.S.A.
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Here is a partial list of people, places, and things (aka nouns) without which this book would never have happened: Dave Lettermans list of the Top Ten Numbers from One to Ten, the new canon being established at Criterion Collection, the continual surprises at NYRB Classics line, and the life-saving Saturday Night Movies series on New York public television (which in the year 2005 aired such new classics as Im Not Afraid and Eat Drink Man Woman). Also, libraries like the SFPLs Taraval branch, the St. Johns College library in Annapolis, the Westport library in Connecticut, and the Mechanics Institute Library in downtown San Francisco. Also (more recently), email, panic, coffee, jokes about the necessity of coffee, the necessity of coffee itself, more coffee, and podcasts (especially the endorsements and whats making us happy segments from the Slate Culture Gabfest and the Pop Culture Happy Hour, respectively).
On a more personal note, I owe a special debt (payable in special dollars) to the vicious dog that hounded me throughout the writing process (Beatrice), the real laughter and equally real skepticism of one Caroline Caviness, and all of my collaborators, including, in particular, Ann Edwards, Eddie Lee, Nikki Roddy, Michael Caviness, Pam McElroy, Nick Harmon, Wyatt Harmon, Dilip Aidasani, Ethan Alter, the Zest teen advisory board, and the irrepressible Dr. Internet.
Theres no way I would have ever been so devoted to this task (or so excitable when discussing the 400th item) without the example set by Greg Harmon, and theres no way I would have tried to make an argument about why Armageddon matters without the dubiousness of Anita Harmon (who also stocked our home with an endless supply of truly great romantic comedies throughout the 1990s). Also, thanks to everyone at Zest Books and at Houghton Mifflin Harcourt for sticking with this book even after I revealed I was thinking of writing it myself.
INTRODUCTION
There are a lot of things going on in this book. There are words, there are numbers, there are lists, there are illustrations, and there are probabably some typoos, too, but there is also, beneath and above all that, a genuine desire to turn readers on (... keep reading) to exciting new things and underappreciated old things and to make entertainment edifying. But before beginning, I wanted to take a moment to explain where this book came from, what its meant for, and where it falls on the Arbitrary Spectrum. Why? Because a book without an introduction is like a movie without an overtureand I miss overtures in movies. So without further ado or explanation, I give you the first of many top ten lists...
THE TOP TEN THINGS TO BEAR IN MIND WHEN READING THIS BOOK
Things are a lot less fun when you feel terrible after they are over (cf. Mardi Gras, warfare, New Years Eve, and celebratory cigars on all occasions). Thats the problem with a lot of pop culture: It goes down way too easy, and four seasons of Real Housewives later, you wonder where your humanity ran off to and why it has your credit cards. The lists in this book are organized into five different self-improvement categoriesBe More Interesting, Get Smart(er), Stop Doing It Wrong, Find Happiness, and Survive the Holidays. Not every item in every list is equally instructive, but there really is a lot of value in the things that entertain us, and sometimes, by just paying attention to that fact, we can remove a lot of the guilt from our guilty pleasures. Not always,