Phinn - Up and Down in the Dales

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First published by Michael Joseph 2004
Published in Penguin Books 2005

Copyright Gervase Phiinn, 2004

The moral right of the author has been asserted

All rights reserved

ISBN: 978-0-141-92458-8

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Gervase Phinn leads a very full and busy life: he is a teacher, freelance lecturer, author, poet, school inspector, educational consultant, visiting professor of education but none of these is more important to him than his family.

For fourteen years he taught in a range of schools until, in 1984, he became General Adviser for Language Development in Rotherham. Four years later he moved to North Yorkshire, where he spent ten years as a school inspector, time that has provided so much source material for his books; he was subsequently appointed Principal Adviser for the county. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts.

Gervase Phinn is now a freelance lecturer and adviser and is in constant demand both as a social after-dinner speaker and at educational level. He speaks and lectures throughout the country. In 1998 he was one of the stars of Esther Rantzens show, Esther, being invited to appear three more times due to public demand.

Rights in his first three books have been sold to television: The Other Side of the Dale, Over Hill and Dale and Head Over Heels in the Dales. He has also written three books of poems for Puffin.

Dedicated to
Tony Storey, Headmaster of The Hayfield School, Doncaster.
For me, he sets the standard by which headteachers are judged.

So There!

Our English teacher, Mr Smart,

Says writing English is an art,

That we should always take great care

When spelling words like wear and where,

Witch and which and fair and fare,

Key and quay and air and heir,

Whet and wet and flair and flare,

Wring and ring and stair and stare,

Him and hymn and their and there,

Whine and wine and pear and pare,

Check and cheque and tare and tear,

Crews and cruise and hare and hair,

Meet and meat and bear and bare,

Knot and not and layer and lair,

Loot and lute and mayor and mare.

Well, frankly, sir, I just dont care

So there!

PENGUIN BOOKS

Praise for Up and Down in the Dales and Gervase Phinn:

If you enjoyed his earlier books you will certainly like this one a light, frothy, entertaining read with a plot that twists and bends to link the many funny stories the author has gathered over the years The Times Educational Supplement

Hilarious and touching Daily Mail

You have heard it before. You may hear it again. For the Phinneasts amongst us, having relished this fourth book, will assuredly clamour for the fifth Yorkshire Post

Gervase Phinn has a unique understanding and love of children, and a wonderful gift for storytelling a real star Esther Rantzen

Gervase Phinn has become one of Britains best-loved comic writers.

Dubbed the James Herriot of schools, he writes with enormous warmth and wit about his romantic adventures, career struggles, and above all the children in the schools he visits, with uncanny ability to charm and embarrass him in equal measure Uproarious and touching by turns, it is perfect Bank Holiday reading Daily Mail

Gervase Phinn writes warmly and with great wit, about the children and adults he meets in Yorkshires schools. An enchanting montage of experiences. Colourful, funny, honest Express on Sunday

Gervase Phinns memoirs have made him a hero in school staff-rooms Daily Telegraph

Gervase Phinn is a natural story teller He has a marvellous ear for one-liners and a constant flow of anecdotes about the things children say Yorkshire Post

I should like to thank Richard Fairy Fairclough for suggesting the title; my ever-patient editor and dear friend Jenny Dereham for her continued encouragement and advice; and my wife and family for their forbearance.

A Parents Prayer on is taken from The Day Our Teacher Went Batty (Puffin 2002).

I stared with disbelief at the object in the display cabinet. It took pride of place amidst the shells, pebbles, fronds of dried seaweed, pieces of coloured glass, bits of driftwood and other detritus collected from the beach.

What do you think? asked the nun with a great smile on her round, innocent face.

Its er well er interesting, was all I could manage to splutter out.

I was at Our Lady of Lourdes Roman Catholic Primary School, the second week of the new school term, to inspect the English teaching. I had been a school inspector now in the great county of Yorkshire for three years and each week brought something new and unexpected. And I was certainly not expecting what I saw in the display cabinet that cold September morning.