Wilkins - My Best Friend and Other Enemies

For Rich, Kim, Suzy and Duncan.

Thank you.

C. W.

Chapter 1

OK, Jessica, were going to McDonalds now, says Natalie as we all get off the school bus in town.

Great, I say.

No, sneers Amelia. Were going to McDonalds now. Natalie and me. Youre not invited.

I feel like Ive been slapped in the face. Im suddenly worried I might cry. I wont cry. Im too angry to cry.

You dont own McDonalds, Amelia, I retort. It isnt invite only. You dont exactly need to RSVP to get in.

Amelia sighs and rolls her eyes. I hate Amelia. Natalie, my supposed best friend since Year One when we shared finger paints, shuffles her feet awkwardly.

The thing is, Jess, Amelia and I need to talk about something, says Natalie.

Something private? adds Amelia, in a tone that suggests I am a tiny child.

You dont mind, do you? says Natalie. Well go to McDonalds another time. Just you and me. Yeah?

Checkmate. I cant argue with that. Well, I can but not if I want to maintain the dignified moral high ground.

Oh, OK. No, of course, I say. I do the new fake smile Ive been practising so much lately. Have fun, you crazy cats! I slightly shout. Then I turn and start walking towards my house. (Crazy cats? Wish I hadnt said that. Thats just given them something else to laugh at.)

My throat feels tight, as it often does whenever Natalie and Amelia tell me they are going off to do some new thing together.

I briefly wonder about doubling back and turning up at McDonalds anyway, and saying, Oh, this is a coincidence! and then theyd have to let me join them. But (a) I have no money, and (b) I have some pride. Some.

What has happened to Natalie? Honestly, what has happened to her? We used to do everything together. And it was brilliant.

Now its like she doesnt even remember the time we made a den in her living room (with bedsheets) and sat in it all night eating Fizzy Wands and looking for ghosts with our torches; or the time we decorated these T-shirts with matching rainbows and pretended we were in a new kids pop band called Scoop (I dont know why we did that now, but it was really fun).

And she never used to ignore me like this. She was always there for me, always.

When my mum read that report on the dangers of E-numbers, and banned me and my brother from having chocolate for two weeks (she gave us fruit for school break time instead. Fruit!) Natalie brought in an extra Club bar for me every day.

Natalies always been so awesome. But since Amelias joined our school, its like shes a different person.

Anyway. I dont need them. I can amuse myself. Plus I have plenty to get on with at home. Plenty. Like well I mean theres well, for instance um. Hmmm. OK, thats not a good sign.

What did we all do after school, before Amelia came along and convinced everyone that McDonalds is the place to be?

Well, Nat and I were quite outdoorsy and we used to spend a lot of time in the park. We used to go really high on the swings, and sometimes wed play It and British Bulldog with the other kids in the neighbourhood. Sometimes we made dens in the shrubbery. But Amelia didnt think that was a very glamorous activity.

Honestly. Amelia arrived here six months ago and has been nothing but trouble. (In my opinion.) I mean, everyone else seems to think shes quite cool. But thats because she hasnt tried to steal their best friends away.

Not that shes succeeded. Natalie and I are still best friends. Well, kind of. We are still best friends, but we just hang out less. But anyway, the point is, Im brilliant. Its just that no one realises.

I havent been home long when theres a loud crash outside my bedroom window. I get up and look out. My mum has just tripped over the assortment of toys my little brother always leaves on the front lawn.

As I look out, my mum is picking herself up and the crashing noise subsides and is replaced by shouting. She starts furiously waving a red fire engine in one hand, and a blue space hopper in the other. I catch snippets of black bin liner I mean it warned you so many times

My dad opens the front door and ushers her inside. He speaks in much more hushed tones, so I cant hear what hes saying, but I imagine its something along the lines of dont need the neighbours to hear.

My parents are quite into keeping up with the Joneses. The trouble is that the Joneses (or, in our case, the VanDerks) are quite a lot better at most things than us.

Their front lawn is much greener, and doesnt have any dandelions or daisies (or toys) strewn about on it. Their children, Harriet and William, learn musical instruments properly. They actually practise and seem to care about it. Harriet is in my year, though shes in the parallel class, and shes top of practically everything.

The VanDerks house is just much more serene in general. Harriet and William dont seem to run and shout as much as Ryan and I do. (Or my older sister, Tammy, whos left home already, sometimes did.) And their car is much cleaner.

My parents sometimes mock them behind their backs for being obsessed with cleaning their car, but to their faces they are almost sickly sweet.

I remember when the VanDerks got a new surround-sound system, because they left the box it came in outside their front door for a week. My dad scoffed that they had obviously done this just so that we would see it and be jealous, and that they should be embarrassed for being so showy; but I think the real reason he was upset was because their surround-sound system was better than ours. (The box of which wed left outside for a week the month before.)

Honestly. Sometimes I think adults can be very immature. Im eleven, and you dont catch me getting into petty rivalries like this. Well, except maybe with Amelia, but that is not really my fault.

Amelia is much worse than the boring old VanDerks. The VanDerks dont tell me my jacket reminds them of the time their sister was sick on the dog. And they certainly dont invite Natalie over for the weekend, but not me, and then go on about all the popcorn and chocolate ice cream they are going to eat while watching 15-certificate films, right in front of me. I mean, if the VanDerks