RuPaul - Lettin it all hang out: an autobiography

Foreword

I wrote this book because I wanted to reveal my soul to the world.

I wanted to show the human being that lives inside of me, the human being that lives inside us all.

And I particularly wanted to do this because, as a drag queen, people generally see me as some kind of thing or freak with a sex fetish. Ive never understood why people find it so hard to recognize the real person inside of me.

Drag for me is showtime. Thats entertainment! I dont go shopping in a bra and panties, and I dont vacuum the apartment in high heels. So when I go to work, its no different than a businessman wearing his three-piece suit on Wall Street. Im like a nurse, a fireman, or a cop onthe beatthey all wear their uniforms to work, and Im no different. And, like all professionals, I love my uniform.

After all, whether we are at work or at play we are all wearing masks and playing roles all the time. Like Ive always said, Youre born naked and the rest is drag.

But when I give out my job description, people always attach Sex Fetish to my career choice. No one ever thinks twice about the priest in his robe or the Supreme Court justice in his gown. And if you ever went up to a motorcycle cop and asked if he was into leather and domination, you would probably be arrested.

Whether we are in uniform or not, its easy for people to label and categorize other people; in this way they make them small, trite, and ultimately inhuman.

But I will not be ignored. The soul that lives inside this body will not be ignored. I am here to stay. And I am here to say that we are all gods and goddesses, each and every one of us.

With all humility, I think the universe is using me to express that message in a fun, colorful wayso that people can get it instantly and connect with it emotionally instead of having to think about it.

In this book Im going to show you that I am just like everybody else. I hope when you are done reading this book, youll put it down and say, Oh my God! Ive just read my own life story. Thats what I mean by letting it all hang out.

One of the questions I am so often asked is, What do I call you? He or she? And I say, You can call me he, you can call me she, you can call me Regis and Kathie Lee, just so long as you call me. Its important not to get caught up in formalities. Some people try to avoid calling me anything at all, as if they are afraid of something; is it drag queens that they are afraid of, or is it themselves?

Sometimes I think they see the reflection of themselves when they look into my eyes. Most people are afraid of what lurks deep inside of themselves. They spend a lifetime running away from it or smothering it with food, sex, drugs, or alcohol. One of lifes biggest challenges is tolook in the mirror because theres really nothing to be afraid of.

Most men dont do femininity well, mostly because in our culture its forbidden. But I think everyonejust once in their livesshould wear a dress, work a wig, and slip on some pumps!

Its always interesting to see someone transformed by the glamour of drag. You see an aspect of their personality that you would not otherwise see. To this point youve only seen half the story, now youre getting to see the other half: the flip side of the coin, the dark side of the moon. Now, for the first time, you can see the whole person, the god and the goddess inside of everyone. Its a revelation.

Its really no different from when the little boy puts on a cowboy outfit for the first time and starts acting big and tough like John Wayne. You see, clothes arent just things you wearthey bring out the flavor of the person, magnifying hidden areas of your personality that spend most of the time cooped up in the cellar of your consciousness. From time to time you need to take them out for a walk around the block to stretch their legs.

Im an old pro; I was doing Revlon commercials in my mothers bedroom at the age of eight. I got my first Barbie doll when I was five years old. The fact that I sawed her breasts off had more to do with that boyhood destructive thing than misogyny. Other than that slight hiccup, exploring my feminine side came very easily to me, because I grew up in a house full of women.

My immediate family, who were my role models and heroes, were all feminine. They were showing their emotions and wearing them in the same way they wore their clothes; when they were sad they cried, when something was funny they laughed out loud, and when something confused them they asked questions. Ive always found strength in that, and comfort in my own femininity. Ive always loved it, expressed it, lived it.

And thats why I do it so well, and why people react to it so well. Ive never had to talk in a womans voice or put on airs, Ive always been myself. So its never been thisweird thing where people look at me and go, That guy is trying to act like a woman. People are usually very comfortable with me in drag.

Because it was so natural to me it took me a long time to figure it out, but I can explain it like this: The reality is that I am a man. The illusion is that I am a woman. But of the two, the illusion is truer.

But now thats changing too. Ironically, just as the world is getting to know me in my female extravaganza, Im getting to know my own personal maleness.

As I write this I am not wearing a wig, I am not wearing a pair of high heels, and I have not lost my mind. Im looking gorgeous in Timberlands, oversize baggy pants worn down low, and a homeboy flannel shirt. Just as I have explored different female looksblack hooker, gender fuck, and supermodelnow I am exploring different drag male looksJ. Crew preppy, sexy home-boy, and executive realness.

Just as when I am in drag I feel totally at ease with my feminine side, now, for the first time in my life, I feel totally at ease with my masculine side. Its not just the way I look, its the way I feel that I am projecting. In fact it has more to do with whats coming from the inside than things on the outside, like my goatee or my baggy pants. And Im loving it! Its almost like Ive found a long-lost twin brother and been reunited with something that, until now, was just a shadow in my life.

This is such a revelation to me in terms of my growth as a human being. And its very much a part of my work. I want to present a whole and complete picturethe yin, the yang; the black, the white; the boy, the girl; the sane, the insane. Because we are all Everymana rainbow of different roles and different people.

Exploring the colors in myself and in others is my lifes passion. There is no such thing as normalityeach and every one of us, if we dare to be whole, is a gorgeous peacock.

Whether you believe we have one life to live or hundreds, there is no reason not to spread your wings and fly!

Going to work is not just a question of putting on some lip gloss and a little underarm deodorant. I dont care whether youre a high-class hooker, supermodel, or a tired old drag queen, every night is the big night. You have to look your best for your public, whatever youre selling. And I know what people expect of menothing less than perfection.

Its gonna take nothing short of a miracle for this to happen in just three short hours, and thats what a queen is a miracle worker. The first thing I do is say a little prayer. I go to my vanity and pray to the gods of Charles Revson, Max Factor, Flori Roberts, and all the other patron saints of beauty. Then I run a hot bubble bath with gorgeous bath oils from Originsbecause Im a natural queen. I unplug the phone, light some incense (Jasmine Extravaganza), and select the music that I will be listening to: something by Diana Ross, Donna Summer, or Barbra Streisand. This particular night I will be listening to Chers Greatest Hits, which includes Save Up All Your Tears, my fave Cher song of all time. It has become the theme song for my transformation. All that pain and suffering for great beauty. It hurts, but you mustnt grumble and mustnt crybig girls dont cry.