Henry - Im in a United State

First published in 2020

Text Paul Henry, 2020

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

Allen & Unwin

Level 2, 10 College Hill, Freemans Bay

Auckland 1011, New Zealand

Phone: (64 9) 377 3800

Email:

Web: www.allenandunwin.co.nz

83 Alexander Street

Crows Nest NSW 2065, Australia

Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100

A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of New Zealand.

ISBN 978 1 98854 760 2

eISBN 978 1 76106 059 5

Cover design by Paul Henry, Kate Barraclough and Vinay Ranchhod

Cover photography by Jimi Hunt, MediaWorks, Getty Images and Linzi Dryburgh

Images in the photo section are from Paul Henrys private collection

All I want to be is very young always and very irresponsible and to feel that my life is my ownto live and be happy and die in my own way to please myself.

ZELDA FITZGERALD

DEDICATION

This work of art is dedicated to three beautiful girls: my three daughters. They bring me joy like nothing else I know. I love them so very much.

Their enthusiasm for the States has served to further drive my passion for it. Witnessing wonders with them is to have that wonder magnified many times. My daughters frequently tell me that I should try new places and experiences in America rather than taking them to places I have already been. While I do that, often my enthusiasm to show them wonders I have found is so great I cant help myself. Because I regularly travel with them individually, that means I can see a show or visit a site four times or more.

Through the pages of this book my daughters will be referenced many times, just as they are through the pages of my mind. So, by way of introduction, then

My eldest daughter, Lucy Rose, was born in 1988 in Masterton. She is an oncology nurse, living in Melbourne with her husband, Frank, and my only grandchild, a boy named Reihan. Hes two and a beautiful handful. As theyre not my hands thats fine. Lucy is fundamentally serene, but also spectacularly enthusiastic. She is the very nicest person. Her eyes in the instant she walked through the doors of her first American casino in Primm, Nevada, betrayed her unbridled excitement. Infectious excitement that I will never forget. Lucy loves Palm Springs and embraces my lifestyle there. She has made great friends with some of my neighbours.

Sophie Olive Henrietta was born in 1990 in Greytown. She works and lives in fashion. She has been in an employment-and-relationship transition phase, but while I was writing this book she started a new job that shes loving and shes in a relationship thats looking good. Sophie knows what she likes, and if she doesnt like it its not going to happen. Shes very smart and stunningly beautiful. She once disappeared around the back of a virtually deserted diner at night to have a cheeky cigarette with a derelict local. My panic at not being able to find her turned to quiet admiration when I heard her laughing with this toothless hobo. Sophie thinks that living in a nudist enclave is just weird, but she adores Palm Springs.

Bella Susanna is my youngest daughter, born in 1992 in Greytown. She is a makeup artist and has worked with me in television. She will be married to Julyan during the making of this book and she loves dogs. One of her dogs, Herman, has more Instagram followers than Kim Kardashian possibly. Bellas spirit is dominant and her personality is huge. The force is strong in her! I think Bella may just love the States as much as I do. She once spent a year in outback Kansas, sampled every church choir in the small, isolated town she called home, and almost made homecoming queen. Her pompom-shaking at the basketball was second to none. Bella thinks nudists are deviant at best, but she loves Palm Springs, and like her sisters she is very happy that Ive found a place with people who make me so happy.

This book is yours, girls. God knows I have spent much of your inheritance on research for it.

DISCLAIMER

This is not a travel book; its a book partially involving travelmost of it happening in my mind. This is not a guide or a log, nor is it an accurate record of any specific (or for that matter general) thing, other than my own feelings and opinions at a particular point in time.

On very rare occasions I have fleetingly attempted clarification or confirmationlets call it researchof certain points.

For the most part, this book contains views and information collected and interpreted by me through personal contact with places and people over the many years of my life.

I have absolutely allowed my personal views and prejudices to influence my commentary, and I am completely transparent in that regard. After all, this is a book exploring my personal love of the Unites States. God!

I have approached and communicated with many random strangers, whose (at times highly questionable) wisdom and knowledge have been used to inform me. In all instances these unwitting contributors have been treated with equal shares of scepticism, distrust and enthusiasm.

I have included personal references that at times are only vaguely relevant, and again are only accurate in terms of my honest memory. No attempt has been made to confirm dates or facts with regard to my recollections. But I assure you that those memories are completely as I recall them, at this time.

All names used for my friends and acquaintances are their true names as I believe them to be at this time. If my brutal honesty upsets anyone I may possibly be very slightly disappointed, but I understand that the truth can on occasion hurt.

The same goes for all my opinions, regardless of what I am describing.

Often I can genuinely see the many sides of a situation, but I will never hesitate to call it my way. Equally, I will seldom hesitate to acknowledge and chronicle (if not agree with) differing opinions and realities.

If a reader, perhaps you, should happen to disagree with my razor-sharp analysis or, more interestingly, my account of certainIll say it: factswell, good for them/you! The ensuing feeling of righteousness is a spectacular reward for your nitpicking.

Google, Siri, her equally evil chum Alexa and their ilk have all but taken the magic out of conversation, relegating conjecture and theatre to those of us who understand the joy of not knowing for sure. We live in a world where merely glancing at your wristwatch can put paid to a romantic soliloquy. In this charming account of a wonderfully unique, expansive country, conjecture and theatre is aliveand very well indeed.

There is an elephant in the room. Contemplating my love of America, a sort of lust for it, there is unsurprisingly a rival truth. A painfully obvious, unavoidable fact: America is overwhelmingly moronic and misguided.

With all its opportunity and infrastructure, its sophistication and flair, it manages so very often to surrender to the lowest common denominator. To prejudice and fear.

In the face of irrefutable contrary evidence, much of America will march to the beating drum of ignorance.

Its a vast space inhabited by swathes of ignorance.

Sometimes you will be caught off guard in conversation with someone who to that point had appeared knowledgeable, reasonable. Only to discover youre dealing with an extremely primitive, myopic individual.

America is a welcoming home for malice, suspicion and conspiracy. Twenty-four seven, politically defined news channels will rabidly push their agendas, displaying little if any concern for accuracy or perspective. Its as though America needs constant, blatant stimulation to remain alive and focused. Doubling down on a lie is almost always the chosen path.