G. A. McKevett - A Decadent Way to Die

L and sakes, boy, my tailbones done taken root to this floor, Savannah Reid said as she shifted from one side of her aching rear to the other. Whod have thought there wouldnt be a solitary decent chair in this joint?

Beside her sat Dirk Coulter, an only slightly apologetic look on his face. If there was one, you know Id let you have it, he said.

Yeah, sure. Thats right up there with, If I win the lottery, Ill give you half. Giving away something you aint got is easy as falling off a wet log.

Whatever happened to, Its the thought that counts?

The thought counted two hours ago, when we still had snacks to eat and my butt didnt feel like a shark was gnawing on it.

With a sigh born of bone-deep weariness or moderate annoy-ancewith Dirk it was hard to tell the differencehe stood and walked to the other side of the small, dark pharmacy.

After bumping into a number of displays and rummaging around a bit, he plucked some items off a shelf.

When he returned, he dumped a rich assortment of candy bars into her lap. There ya go snacks. Compliments of the house.

He peeled off his old leather bomber jacket, folded it twice, and slid the impromptu cushion between her back and the wall. Lean on it or sit on it, whichever gives you the most relief.

Aww, thats so sweet.

Just keep your bellyaching to a minimum

And you were doing so well

Shh, he said. I dont want those numbskulls out there to hear us arguing in here and pass on the break-in.

Savannah scowled up at him. Maybe you should choose your words a mite more carefully. Bellyaching is up there with nagging and female moodiness. They could get a guy smacked upside the head.

Savannah handed him one of the candy bars and unwrapped another for herself. And speaking of burglars excuse me for stating the obvious, but didnt you just steal these goodies off the shelf?

Dirk shrugged as he bit into the bar. I told the owner this moonlighting gig would cost him a couple hundred plus expenses. The candys a necessary expense.

And you get paid whether we catch the bad guys or not?

Yeah. Sweet, huh? Plus an expense account. Makes me feel like a private investigator, like you.

Only youve got a badge.

Savannah tried not to sound bitter when she said those words. Most days she could convince herself that she was perfectly happy not to be a member of the San Carmelita Police Department anymore.

And some days she believed it.

She believed it on rainy days. Rainy days in July. Rainy days in July when the moon was in conjunction with the sun, Venus, and Jupiter and she was struck by lightning twice before she got out of bed.

The rest of the time she experienced a small, nagging sadness that she was no longer a cop and Dirks honest-to-goodness partner in crime detection and bad-guy nabbing.

Though tonight was almost as good, staking out a small, privately owned pharmacy that had been burglarized three times in the past month.

When the harried proprietor had informed the police that he intended to keep watch, night after night, with a shotgun in hand and dispatch the repeat thieves to the Promised Land, Dirk had volunteered his services and Savannahs.

Dirk frequently volunteered her services. And, usually, she enjoyed it. When else did one get to play cops and robbers, eat pilfered candy, and manipulate a close friend into being deeply beholding all in the course of one evening?

So, how much of that couple of hundred were you figuring to throw my way? she asked, licking the chocolate off her thumb and forefinger.

His mood seemed to drop a few notches in spite of the recent sugar infusion. Oh, I dont know. How much were you thinkin?

A good backrub, and Id probably call it even.

He brightened instantly. Sure. Id be glad to give you a back-rub.

Not you, sweet cheeks. A professional massage. One you actually pay money for.

Oh.

She gave him a sideways glance and saw the slightly protruding lower lip. It looked ridiculous on a forty-plus, ruggedly hand-somewith the emphasis on ruggedgrown man. A cop who, for more than twenty years, had rubbed elbows with societys worst. Occasionally, fists and elbows, too.

Dirk didnt complain much when having to chase, tackle, and cuff the unbathed, undeodorized, alcohol-marinated, chemically altered, and ethically deficient. But ask him to part with a dollar and his mood plummeted.

And Savannah found the whole process quite entertaining.

Whats the matter? she said, giving him a playful dig in the ribs with her elbow. Dont you think Im worth it?

Yeah, I guess. But those massages are expensive.

Eh. About half of what youre getting for this gig should cover it, plus a pedicure and maybe

Shhh.

Dont you shush me, boy. I

Shh! I hear something.

Then she heard it, too the distinctive jiggling of a doorknob at the rear of the store.

She chuckled as a shot of adrenaline hit her bloodstream. They think theyre actually gonna come through the door like regular customers? she whispered.