Mila Gray - Fall into Me

Also by Mila Gray

Come Back to Me

Stay with Me

Run Away with Me

Watch Over Me

An imprint of Simon & Schuster Childrens Publishing Division

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www.SimonandSchuster.com

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the authors imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Text 2020 by Mila Gray

Jacket illustration 2020 by AddictiveCreatives/Stocksy Jacket design by Heather Palisi 2020 by Simon & Schuster, Inc.

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Interior design by Tom Daly

Jacket design by Heather Palisi based on series design by Karina Granda 2020 by Simon and Schuster

Jacket photograph 2020 by AddictiveCreatives/Stocksy

Author photograph by Heather Bonker

CIP data for this book is available from the Library of Congress.

ISBN 978-1-5344-6931-0 (hc)

ISBN 978-1-5344-6933-4 (ebook)

To all my readers

T he noise of the crowd is a deafening roar, so loud its like being inside the barrel of a wave, but it still cant silence the screams in my head.

Twenty minutes ago I was feeling calm and confident, and now Im falling apart. It shows me just how shaky my new sense of self was. I was a badly constructed Jenga tower, and someone has pulled a block from the very bottom and Im collapsing in slow motion.

Adrenaline pounds furiously through my veins, making it hard to breathe or think straight. I take a swig from my water bottle, hoping it might drown the million ants that have started to burrow and scratch beneath my skin. I thought I had it under control, was managing to swim with my head above water, but just like that, Ive been dragged under.

The idea of walking onstage in front of seventy thousand people is suddenly an impossibility. How can Iknowing someone out there wants to kill me?

How did they slip unnoticed into my dressing room? How did they get past my bodyguard? Everyone with backstage access is meant to have been security-checked. No strangers should be able to get back here, so whoever it is must work for me. But who do I know that could secretly hate me that much?

The roar in the distance grows louder, making me think of a hungry crowd baying for a gladiators blood. I have to go out there. I dont have a choice. The clock is ticking.

I think of Will to help calm me and wonder where he is right now. If hes happy. Closing my eyes, I allow myself to picture himfocus on recalling every detail, pulling them out of my memory like treasures from a box. I see the soft curve of his lips and the rough scratch of his beard, how it felt when he kissed me. I remember the exact sensation of his hands gliding down my body, coming to rest on my hips, the way hed tug me toward him. I can visualize the warmth in his smoke-gray eyes as he looked at me, seeing all the way through the outer layer to the real me inside.

For a while we were free, on the run together, never glancing over our shoulders or looking back, but only focusing on the present and each other. The rest of the world could have gone to hell. It was just us. I smile as I recall those days of dizzy escape, but then the smile fades. I always knew deep down that theyd have to end. You cant be a fugitive from your life forever. One day youll get caught and sent back to do your time. I just wish it hadnt happened so soon.

I wish wed had longer.

T here are few things worse than being forced to spend a whole evening with a bunch of strangers, but I promised that Id show my face, so here I am, gritting my teeth and trying to get through it.

Will! I hear my name being called as Im walking up the steps to the front door of the biggest house Ive ever seen. I turn around and find my best friend, Tristan, arm in arm with my sister Zoey.

It still messes with my head seeing them together, but I have to admit they really do seem happy. And I know Tristanhes a good guy. I always worried Zoey might end up with someone like my dad, because they say thats what happens to kids who grow up with asshole fathers; they gravitate toward what they know, not what they deserve. It gives me hope, because they also say that the sons of asshole fathers often end up modeling their fathers behavior, and Id be lying if I didnt admit that I secretly sometimes worry that I might turn out to be a violent asshole just like him. It keeps me up at night.

I keep those concerns to myself, obviously. Theyre not ones you want to share, even if I were the sharing type.

Zoey hugs me like a long-lost relative, even though she only saw me a few hours earlier. I can tell shes relieved I made it to the party, and that makes me realize she thought I wouldnt show. It bothers me. I guess that no matter how many times I apologize for joining the Marines and explain why I thought it was a good idea at the time, shell never fully be able to trust me not to abandon her again.

Hows it going? Tristan asks, and I pick up on the concern in his voice. His worry isnt obvious, but Im good at reading people. You get good when you have a father like mine, whose moods flipped on a dime. You also get good at it when you have to stand guard outside a Marine base.

Okay, I tell him. Finding my feet.

Ive only been out of the Marines a couple of weeks. They warn you itll be strange returning to civilian life, and they are definitely right about that. Im still getting used to not having to get out of bed at the crack of dawn, or wearing a uniform, or carrying a weapon with me wherever I go.

But I dont miss a thing about being in the Marines. I couldnt wait to get out. I figured I would feel like a free man, like the guy in the Shawshank Redemption movie who hightails it to Mexico after being released from prison to live on the beach and build his own boat. I have similar ambitions, but unlike the guy in the movie, I dont have a stash of cash hidden away to help me achieve my dreams.

Until I have a job and some money and start paying off my debt, Im stuck here. Not that Oceanside is badas its name suggests, its by the ocean. But its just not what Ive been dreaming of for the last seven years.

Youll get there, Tristan tells me with more confidence than I feel. Did you talk to Kit?

I shake my head. I havent seen Kit yet. Hes busy with the restaurant and the new baby. I dont want to get in the way.

You should ask him for a job, Tristan says. Hes always looking for people to work at the restaurant.