Amy Fish - I Wanted Fries with That: How to Ask for What You Want and Get What You Need

Table of Contents

Praise for I Wanted Fries with That

Amy Fish is laugh-out-loud funny, and her words carry an important message: we need to stand up not only for ourselves but for everyone in line behind us. I found myself nodding feverishly in agreement. I wish I had read this twenty years earlier so I could have imparted more of this information to my children. It is so sensible.

Nancy Spielberg, producer, Playmount Productions

Self-improvement has never been easier or more enjoyable, engaging, amusing, and effective. Amy Fish delivers clear-cut instructions with passion and wit, teaching even the most reluctant complainers how to speak up for themselves. Youll laugh your way to a stronger, better you.

Lara Lillibridge, bestselling author of Mama, Mama, Only Mama: An Irreverent Guide for the Newly Single Parent

With warmth, humor, wisdom, and deep respect for others, Amy Fish gives you the strategies and courage to speak in your own voice to ask for what you want or need. This is storytelling and complaint handling at their very best.

Lydia Cummings, university ombudsman

Laugh-out-loud funny and packed with wise and practical advice on making your voice heard, this book should be on everyones reading list.

Susan E. Opler, ombudsman, City of Toronto

Fresh, crisp, and terrifically useful advice. Especially good for those of us whove never had the nerve to send back a dish at a restaurant, these easy scripts and practical examples will help us all learn a kinder, gentler way of making things better.

Sam Bennett, author of Get It Done

Take it from someone who avoids complaining at all costs: Amy Fishs I Wanted Fries with That made me want to speak up and speak out! She offers practical advice laced with enough humor to make even the most skittish of us stand up and get exactly what we want.

Athena Dixon, author of No God in This Room

Amy Fishs book gave me great tips I can use at work, where I spend a lot of time negotiating with opposing counsel, and at home, where I spend a lot of time negotiating with my teenage kids. It also made me laugh along the way.

Susan Gradman, Chicago attorney

Praise for The Art of Complaining Effectively by Amy Fish

Amy provides a smile on every page.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court justice

Copyright 2019 by Amy Fish

All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, or other without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

The material in this book is intended for education. No expressed or implied guarantee of the effects of the use of the recommendations can be given or liability taken.

Text design by Tona Pearce Myers

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data is available.

First printing, October 2019

ISBN 978-1-60868-619-3

Ebook ISBN 978-1-60868-620-9

Printed in Canada on 100% postconsumer-waste recycled paper

10987654321

I ordered fries, but Im not sure if they heard me.

Julie Freedman, 1982

French fries. I love them. Some people are chocolate and sweets people. I love french fries. That and caviar.

Cameron Diaz

A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. Thats why they dont get what they want.

Madonna

Contents

You need to have the courage to live life. This includes learning to ask for what you need or want. Sometimes you are out to correct an injustice or right a wrong; other times all youre trying to do is order a side of fries.

Let me introduce you to Teenage Me. Im with my friends. Its lunchtime. We are hungry, and were allowed to leave school. Its Julies turn to go to the counter and place our order. I ask her to get me fries.

There are eleven of us in a red vinyl booth that would be tight for four. I am fourteen years old and have eaten nothing but celery and egg whites for three days. Julie returns to the table, presumably having placed our order. Fifteen minutes elapse, which might not sound like a lot, but in fry time this is close to a year.

None of us have been served. I am going to pass out from hunger. My body will slide to the gummy floor and melt into the linoleum, and generations of fry eaters will tread on me until my face becomes part of the tile.

Our server arrives with pizza, subs, and a couple of salads. He is fryless.

I swallow back tears. (They are salty but lacking in crunch.)

Jules, I say to my best friend, tucking a strand of her light-brown hair behind her ear, what do you think happened to our fries?

Well, like, I went up and ordered them? Julie speaks in questions.

Uh-huh? I ask.

But, um, Im not sure if they heard me, Julie says.

I want to SCREAM. Youre kidding, I think. You mean to tell me that all this time, Ive been waiting for french fries that we never even ordered? Ive been counting the minutes, saliva gathering in my taste buds, ready to gnaw off my arm in hunger! Ive been waiting for fries that were never even on their way? I want to say all this out loud, at the top of my starving lungs, but instead, I look down at the empty plate in front of me and mumble to Julie, I wanted fries with that.

The following lessons strike me like lightning:

Speaking up, and asking for what you need, is harder than you think.

If you dont ask for what you want, you will not get what you need.

If you send your friend to ask for what you want, she may not be able to do it, in which case you wont get what you need.

I was born with the ability to make sure my voice is heard, and I need to use this gift wisely. For example, I should have been the one to get up and order the fries.

Many of us need help building this skill, and its in my best interest to teach you how, if only so that I could send you to pick up my fries next time, because Julie clearly doesnt have this one nailed.

Fourteen-year-old me is still in the diner. Starving.