Andrea Kay - Lifes a Bitch and Then You Change Careers: 9 Steps to Get You Out of Your Funk & on to Your Future

Copyright 2005 Andrea Kay

Published in 2005 by
Stewart, Tabori & Chang
An imprint of Harry N. Abrams, Inc.

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical, electronic, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Kay, Andrea

Lifes a bitch and then you change careers: 9 steps to get out of your funk and on to your future / Andrea Kay

p. cm.

Includes index.

ISBN 1-58479-487-9

I. Career changes. II. Vocational guidance. III.Title.

HF5384.K393 2006

650.14dc22

2005027658

Edited by Marisa Bulzone
Designed by Susi Oberhelman
Graphic Production by Kim Tyner

115 West 18th Street
New York, NY 10011
www.abramsbooks.com

Visit Andrea Kay at www.lifesabitchchangecareers.com

IN MEMORY AND CELEBRATION OF THE LIVES OF

Morry Rosenthal, who bravely
changed careers to help people in emotional pain
with his incredible gift of empathy,
and Liz Zabinski, who courageously changed careers
to care for animals in physical pain with
her miraculous gift of touch.

Step 1
Discover that restless gnawing in the pit of your gut.

Step 2
Track down the bugs.

Step 3
Pinpoint the good.

Step 4
Name who you like most and where you want to hang out.

Step 5
Name what you know about.

Step 6
Say what you care about.

Step 7
Find whats new, whats happening and where youd fit.

Step 8
Know what it will cost you.

Step 9
Target them, find them, get and keep their attention.

Every spring and fall I run late because I never know what to wear. I spend too much time rummaging through my closet trying to piece together an outfit that in the spring doesnt look like winter anymore and reflects the new fashion; and in the fall doesnt look like summer and incorporates that seasons style. At the end of the ordeal, clothes are strewn across the floor, bed and bathroom counter. It is a twice-a-year reminder of how much I really dont like change.

And yet, I always come around. I flip through the clothing catalogues and magazines. Eventually, I let go of my notion of last years fashion that took me two months to embrace and in which I was comfortably entrenched by the end of the season. As I get a feel for what I might like thats new, I lug outdated skirts and too-wide-lapel jackets to the other-closet pile and tuck a few new items into my main closet. For five or so months, there is peace on earth. And then the process starts all over again.

In a year, change imposes itself in many other ways as well. This year, for example, I bought a new cell phone after seven years of clutching one that had lost its cover and the doohickey that keeps the battery intact (after I dropped the phone in parking lots several times.) There was also the new clock radio that I had to learn to program after accidentally tipping a glass of water into my old favorite that refused to wake me up any longer.

Then there are the friends who have died and whom I no longer have in my life to tell about my latest project and for them to eagerly ask, How is it going?

Its hardest to give up the people. I still have a pair of socks from junior high school that my grandfather gave me before he died when I was 15. And then there are the pets. I lost my dog and two cats to cancer in the last year and a half. I cling to their static photographs in the desperate hope to hold on.

In varying degrees, I grieve for anything that was and is no longer. You just get so used to the people, pets and things in your life being there. And even though you know nothing stays the same, theres a part of you that always hopes it will.

After working with people and their work issues for nearly 20 years, I have come to see that careers are also one of the hardest things for people to give up or begin anew. Work represents so much of a personthe place you can express yourself, learn about yourself and develop who you are. Its complicated.

Some people expect a lot from their workmaybe too much. Others dont want it to ever change. It is terribly inconvenient to have to start all over. Not to mention scary.

And if that werent enough, when it comes to your career, there are two dynamics at war within you: the desire to be happy and the desire for security.

As you contemplate and make a career change, you might keep in the back of your mind my take on change. It is this: No matter how big or small the change, you are going to feel discomfort. It is to be expected. So let chaos reign. Dont try to avoid the discomfort. Metaphorically speaking, throw your clothes all over the floor, bed and bathroom counter. Then bring on the catalogues. There will always be new ones to thumb throughbecause nothing ever stays the same. Thats a good thing if you want to continue to express yourself, learn about yourself and develop into who you are. Or perhaps more accurately, who you are becoming.

Life can be, well, a bitch when youre in the wrong career. I dont need to tell you how miserable it feels to spend your day in a place you dont want to be, doing work that your hearts not in. But I do need to tell you that its possible to change. This book will show you how.

I know youve got good reasons for hesitating to take the leap. Its work to change careers, right? Whos got the time? Youve got a family to support. You might have to start at the bottom and make less money. Besides, you dont know what else youd do aside from what youre doing now.

But something has happened in your life to get you thinking seriously about making a career change this time. Its a good thing youre paying attentionbecause the last thing you want is to look back at your life and regret what you could have done but didnt.

Paying attention to your dissatisfaction and then taking the right steps to changing careers can change your life. When you create something that fits who you are, your life can be blissful, joyous, prosperous and meaningfulwith you in control. Instead of counting the hours until each day ends, you will count your blessings that you get to do this work every day.

Well take one step at a time to help you explore making a change and then be smart in doing it. This book isnt about just switching jobs or, as so many people say, finding whats out there or having something to fall back on. Its about searching inside yourself and then searching for work that fits that self.

This can lead to a wise career change to make your life better. So this book is about how to create a career that fits your life and who you are.

To do that, Im going to give you some very specific questions and exercises to complete along the way. You may not use every single piece of information you dig up. But following this structure is a process. And like most things, the process is the way by which you actually create the result you want. Although this process is systematic, its also very organic. Sometimes events that take place or things you learn about yourself along the way create your path. Youll see how this happens as you meet people throughout the book and hear about the ways in which significant events or other discoveries have affected their thinking.