Daniel J Crawford - Stop Asking How Was Your Day?: 444 Better Questions to Help You Connect with Your Child

Daniel J. Crawford

This book is for my son

This book is a tool. It is an introduction to a conversation.

It began as a list of questions taped to the center console of my beat-up 2000 Toyota, a series of curious conversation starters to help my son, his mother, and myself engage in meaningful after-school discussion. He was five years old when I started writing this list, and we had already fallen into an after-school routine that was incomplete and unproductive. There was (and continues to be) a universe of life expanding in the mind and soul of my child, a universe I care about deeply, but at the end of an exhausting day at school, summarizing the entirety of his day in a single moment became a chore.

Something was missing. I recalled the many times in my own life when I had to sum up an experience on the spot, and I remembered just how challenging that can be.

So, I prepared a list of questions in advance.

Over time, I added more, and the list grew longer. I wrote much of this content as a solution for my own family. But the book you have in front of you, I wrote for you, for the parents and caregivers who love their children very much but are struggling to communicate.

How was school?

How was school?

Did you learn anything today?

How was school?

I was asking my son to reduce six hours of his day into a single-syllable reply. And then we would move on. I was reading the headlines but missing the news.

It wasnt his fault. It was mine.

I was asking the wrong questions.

This book helps to find the right ones. Each page presents questions that, in the moment, we dont think to ask. Some of the questions are fun, some are deep and reflective, and some are silly. Some questions will open doors to otherwise difficult conversations about mental health, personality, and identity. Some questions will encourage you to share things you dont otherwise know how to say. The questions are diverse and are appropriate for schoolchildren of all ages and walks of life. They can be asked in any particular order and can be adjusted toward the individual. In addition, this book offers various Lead by Example sectionsprompts that will encourage you to share with your child something from your own experience.

Human beings crave communication and connection, but we often struggle to find it. These questions bridge that gap.

It is not necessarily the content of the questions that matters, nor the substance of the replies they elicit. Rather, it is the simple act of communication that carries the greatest weight. Children of all ages will grow to desire some degree of privacy and individuality, and those desires should be respected, of course. This book is not designed as a tool to learn every detail about your childs day. Instead, it is designed to get to know your child as a person, as an individual.

Ultimately, this book is about communication and nothing more. It is comprehensive but demands little time and effort from the parent or caregiver.

In this book, I offer no lectures on parenting. I offer no expertise, no study guides, no lifestyle coaching. I offer only the means to get the ball rolling, to encourage openness, connection, and communication. This book is a tool, to be flipped through while parked in the pick-up line at school, before sitting down to dinner, or anywhere and anytime you please.

Communication is valuable in any relationship, but amid day-to-day stresses and exhausting schedules, it can become a challenge. This book provides solutions. Youll find that these questions lead to more in-depth conversations and stronger relationships. I know there is value in this book, as I have already found it. I encourage you to find it too.

Enjoy.

Daniel J. Crawford

1

Who sat next to you at lunch today?

2

If you were a journalist, what news topic would you want to cover?

3

How do you feel when you meet someone new? Are you outgoing or reserved? Do you feel confident? Cautious?

4

Is there anyone who tries really hard but doesnt do well in school?

5

Who is the most organized student?

6

Have any of your classmates ever asked a question that your teacher couldnt answer?

• If I could go back to school, I would study
• If I could give advice to myself at your age, I would say
• The most inquisitive person I know is...

7

Do you ever have trouble concentrating?

8

Do you think people act differently at different times of the day?

9

Would you rather travel to school on a horse or in a hot air balloon?

10

If we switched places for a week, how would I do in your classes? How would you do at my job?

11

If you were a phone, how much battery power