John C. Maxwell - Defining Moments Define Your Leadership: Lesson 3 from Leadership Gold

2008, 2012 by John C. Maxwell

This ebook is derived from Leadership Gold, by John Maxwell, 2008, 2012 by John C. Maxwell.

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ISBN: 978-0-7852-1411-3 (hardcover)
ISBN: 978-1-4185-7113-9 (ebook)
ISBN: 978-1-4002-7537-3 (ebook of chapter 3)

CONTENTS

DEDICATION

Leadership Gold is dedicated to Ella Ashley Miller, our fourth
grandchild. Her gentle nature continually draws us to her. We pray that
as she grows older she will mine the gold out of the lessons of life.

Thank you to
Charlie Wetzel, my writer
Stephanie Wetzel, who proofs and edits the manuscript
Linda Eggers, my assistant

One of the leaders I admire most is Winston Churchill, Englands prime minister who stood up against the Nazis during World War II. He was a leaders leader! He once remarked, In every age there comes a time when a leader must come forward to meet the needs of the hour. Therefore, there is no potential leader who does not have an opportunity to make a positive difference in society. Tragically, there are times when a leader does not rise to the hour.

What determines whether a leader emerges to meet the challenge of the hour? More to the point, what will determine whether you will step forward to successfully meet the challenges you face? I believe the determining factor is how you handle certain critical moments in your life. These moments will define who you are as a person and as a leader.

HOW WILL YOU BE DEFINED?

If you are familiar with my philosophy of leadership and my teaching on success, then you know that Im a big believer in personal growth. I dont believe in overnight successes. In fact, one of my core principles is the Law of Process in my book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. It states,Leadership develops daily, not in a day.However, I also believe that the choices we make in critical moments help to form us and to inform others about who we are. They are defining moments, and heres why I think they are important:

1. Defining Moments Show Us Who We Really Are

Most days in our lives come and go; they are much like all the others and dont stand out. But there are a few days that are unlike all the others. They do stand out because they give us an opportunity to stand up, be set apart from the rest of the crowd, and seize that momentor to remain sitting with the rest of the crowd and let it pass. These momentsfor better or worsedefine us. They show us what we are really made of.

We often focus on the milestones of life, the important events that mark seasons and accomplishments. We happily anticipate a graduation, wedding, or promotion. But some of our defining moments come as a total surprise, often appearing during times of crisis:

Facing a personal failure

Taking a stand on an issue

Experiencing suffering

Being asked to forgive

Making an unpleasant choice

Sometimes we can sense the importance of our actions in the moment. We can see two clear paths ahead of us, one leading up, the other down. Other times, sadly, our defining moments occur and we dont see them for what they are. Only afterward, when time has passed and we look back, do we understand their importance. Either way, they define who we are.

2. Defining Moments Declare to Others Who We Are

Most days we can wear masks and hide who we are from the people around us. During defining moments, we cant do that. Our rsums mean nothing. It doesnt matter how we have marketed ourselves. Our image means nothing. Defining moments put the spotlight on us. We have no time to put a spin on our actions. Whatever is truly inside us is revealed to everyone. Our character isnt made during these timesit is displayed!

For leaders, defining moments tell the people following them many of the things they really want to know: who their leaders are, what they stand for, and why they are leading. Handled well, a defining moment can cement a relationship and bond leaders and followers for life. Handled poorly, a defining moment can cost a leader his credibility and end his ability to lead.

In the revised tenth anniversary edition of The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, I wrote about two defining moments in the leadership of President George W. Bush. His first term in office was defined by his response to the September 11 terrorist attacks. He connected with the hearts of the American people, and even people who hadnt voted for him were willing to give his leadership a chance. However, his second term of office was defined by his poor response to Katrina. It took only a few days for the people of the United States to feel the leadership vacuumand even for many of the presidents supporters to disapprove of his leadership.

My intention is not to be critical. All of us have experienced failure. My point is that the defining moments of leaders can have a dramatic effect on others. When leaders respond correctly, everyone wins. When they respond incorrectly, everyone loses.

3. Defining Moments Determine Who We Will Become

You will never be the same person after a defining moment. Somehow you will be moved. It may be forward, or it may be backward, but make no mistakeyou will be moved. Why is that? Because defining moments are not normal, and whats normal doesnt work in those times.

I think of defining moments as intersections in our lives. They give us an opportunity to turn, change direction, and seek a new destination. They present options and opportunities. In these moments, we must choose. And the choice we make will define us! What will we do? Our response puts us on a new path, and that new path will define who we will become in the future. After a defining moment, we will never be the same person again.

MOMENTS THAT DEFINED ME

The defining moments of my life have determined who I have become. Take away even one of themgood or badand I would not be the same person. And the defining moments that lie before me will continue to shape me.

As I look back at the many defining moments in my life and reflect on them, I can see that all of them fall into four categories:

Some Defining Moments Were Ground Breakers

Many of the defining moments of my life allowed me to start something new. More than twenty years ago, I was teaching leadership to a small group of people in Jackson, Mississippi. At the close of the seminar, one of the participants asked if it was possible to receive ongoing leadership training from me. I wasnt sure how that could be done. However, as we talked, I could sense that many of the other attendees desired the same thing.