Brains - Hexes for the modern age: contemporary curses for people who irritate you the most

Disclaimer: Val Brains and Skyhorse Publishing may not be held liable should exercised hexes prove effective, ineffective, or way too effective. Copyright 2017 by Val Brains All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018. Skyhorse Publishing books may be purchased in bulk at special discounts for sales promotion, corporate gifts, fund-raising, or educational purposes. Special editions can also be created to specifications.

For details, contact the Special Sales Department, Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018 or . Skyhorse and Skyhorse Publishing are registered trademarks of Skyhorse Publishing, Inc., a Delaware corporation. Visit our website at www.skyhorsepublishing.com. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file. Jacket design by Rain Saukas and Val Brains Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-2182-1 Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-2183-8 Printed in China Contents Hexplanation Modern times call for modern ways to make terrible things happen to people who irritate you. Out of this previously unmet need, as if from a beautiful Victorian fountain, has sprung Hexes for the Modern Age .

Its full of embarrassing, debilitating, and shame-inducing spells, conveniently organized by category so you can inflict discomfort in a very specific area of your targets life. And, if youre not the hexer but instead the hexee, please enjoy a new set of things to feel increasingly paranoid about. Love (or Lack Thereof) May you find the perfect match on Tinder, only to discover that the last photo is him posing with a tiger. Work, Work, Work, Work, Work May you have two great interviews for a job you really want and then hear absolutely nothing. Pets May all the plastic bags have holes in them when you run out of real dog-poop bags. Driving May you always have 3 percent phone battery when you have no idea where youre going and its in the middle of nowhere and theres no one else around. Hipster Life May you never find the perfect shade of intentionally gray hair. Weddings & Events May you find yourself seated at the singles (read: misfits) table at every wedding with the expectation that you singlehandedly carry the conversation for hours. Getting Dressed May you always find yourself on the wrong side of tasteful sideboob. Daily Drudgery May you put something important in such a safe hiding place that you are then unable to find it. Personal Hygiene May you always miss a spot on the back of your thigh when shaving your legs. Roommates May your roommate take your stuff out of the dryer and put it on a surface just dirty enough for you to have to wash it again. Food May you mistake the salt for sugar. Travel May you continue to find sand in strange places weeks after your vacation. Technology May you forget your brothers Netflix password, and may he not respond to your frantic texts about it for, like, twenty minutes. May you keep running into people you met on dating sites IRL at the grocery store.