Mungeam - 50 Things You Really Need to Know

Tim Mungeam

New York London

2013 by Tim Mungeam

Commissioning editor: Sarah Tomley
(of www.editorsonline.org)
Designer: Tracy Killick
Project editors: Ben Way and Alice Bowden
Proof-reader: Catherine Larner
Illustrator: Victoria Woodgate (www.vickywoodgate.com)
Indexer: Hilary Bird

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e-ISBN 978-1-62365-496-2

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NOTE TO THE READER

This book and its contents are not intended as a substitute for personal medical advice. While the advice and information in this book is believed to be accurate and true at the time of going to press, neither the authors nor the publishers can accept any legal responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions that may be made.

On the whole, men arent huge readers of parenting books, but however you arrived here, Im glad you did. Even though you may not have actually made the purchase, the fact that youre reading this now means a lot. It means youre ready to get stuck into being a great dad.

From day one, my intention in writing this book was to put together a practical, issues-focused companion to early fatherhood, which also looked at the personal, emotional adjustment that every man needs to make as he gets to grips with becoming a dad. It doesnt need to be read in order, so please feel free to dip in and out. As you do, I hope that youll soon find yourself moving beyond the (all important) which wet wipe is better? question and find yourself thinking about your whole approach to the messy but wonderful world that is fatherhood. Becoming a brand new, first-time dad is an uncharted journey, but its also a chance to make your particular mark.

The book takes the view that being a dad is more of an art than a science finding your own interpretation of what fatherhood means for you and your son, or you and your daughter. Unfortunately theres no sure-fire way to raise a perfect and happy child. Id love to be able to tell you that success is guaranteed but its not. Its lifes greatest adventure, but its lifes greatest experiment too. Theres a lot of fun to be had but youll need to be prepared for a few explosions and the finished product may not turn out the way you expected.

However it goes for you, never forget this: fantastic first-time fathers know that, amidst the chaos and unpredictability, the secret of really successful fatherhood is simply sticking at it.

Becoming a dad is the start of a thrilling journey. However, it may not feel like that when you first hear the news shock, panic and fear are common reactions to all major adjustments, and this may be the biggest life adjustment that youll ever be asked to undertake.

From the moment your partner, wife or girlfriend told you that she was expecting, the likelihood is that you will have found yourself battling a range of conflicting emotions: delight, fear, excitement, anxiety, confidence and insecurity. It may feel as though your every action and decision now carries a new significance, with implications not only for you but for two other people. The buck stops here. In an instant, life has changed and at times the responsibility can feel overwhelming. Questions like Am I ready?, Am I mature enough? and Can we afford it? will be making regular appearances in the forefront of your mind.

All these questions are perfectly normal beginning to ask yourself these kinds of things is an important stage in preparing yourself for fatherhood. But the truthful answer to most of them is probably no. Put simply, no-one can ever be completely prepared because parenthood first time around is a journey into the unknown.

Becoming a dad is an incredible privilege and youll soon realize that fatherhood is the most important job youll ever have. Forget the dreams of businessmen and politicians fatherhood guarantees that youll leave a flesh-and-blood legacy: your child. If that sounds daunting, youre probably in the right place, psychologically speaking. The actor Ed Asner summed up the essence of early parenthood perfectly when he jokingly described it as part joy, part guerrilla warfare. The life of a new dad is punctuated with many top of the world moments but these will be accompanied by a fair share of moments where you ask yourself, How did I get myself into this?. But the truth is, you only need to spend a little time in the presence of a loving father and his daughter or son to see that the rewards of fatherhood are well worth the effort.

Its estimated that worldwide, 252 children are born every minute. Thats four brand new babies a second. You may think that youve had a hectic 24 hours, but since this time yesterday the global population has increased by a hefty 362,880 people. In the time it took you to read this paragraph, the lungs of two football teams worth of children have taken their first breaths. Its a mind-boggling statistic.

On the other hand, the fact that a third of a million babies have been born since yesterday and a further six billion people have successfully negotiated their way into the global village already probably makes zero difference to the way you feel at the moment. Because now its your turn: your baby, your partners pregnancy and your journey into fatherhood. This whole child-rearing thing looks very different when its up close and personal. But remember this: despite the alarming nature of the task, many, many other dads have done it. Look around you. If those guys can do it, you can too.