Pearl Debi - To Train Up a Child

by Michael and Debi Pearl

This book is not about discipline, nor problem children. The emphasis is on the training of a child before the need to discipline arises. It is apparent that, though they expect obedience, most parents never attempt to train their child to obey. They wait until his behavior becomes unbearable and then explode. With proper training, discipline can be reduced to 5% of what many now practice. As you come to understand the difference between training and discipline, you will have a renewed vision for your familyno more raised voices, no contention, no bad attitudes, fewer spankings, a cheerful atmosphere in the home, and total obedience from your children.

Any parent with an emotional maturity level higher than the average thirteen-year-old can, with a proper vision and knowledge of the technique, have happy obedient children. This is not a theory; it is a practical reality that has been successfully applied many times over.

One couple we know was stressed out with conflict of their three young children. After spending the weekend with us and hearing some of these principles, they changed their tactics. One week later, they exclaimed, I cant believe it; we went to a friends house, and when I told my children to do something, they immediately, without question, obeyed.

These truths are not new, deep insights from the professional world of research, but rather, the same principles the Amish use to train their stubborn mules, the same technique God uses to train His children. These principles are profoundly simple and extremely obvious. After examining them with us, you will say, I knew that all along. Where have I been? Its so obvious.

To Train Up A Child

Copyright 1994 by Michael Pearl

ISBN 978-1-934794-85-2

EBook: September 2009

ISBN 978-1-934794-86-9

EPub: September 2009

ISBN 978-1-892112-00-2

First book printing: August 1994

Nineteenth book printing: New Cover, second printing: July 2009

OVER 645,000 IN PRINT

This title is also available as a No Greater Ministries Inc. CD or MP3 audio product. Visit www.nogreaterjoy.org for more information.

Requests for information should be addressed to:

No Greater Joy Ministries Inc. 1000 Pearl Road, Pleasantville, TN 37033 USA

www.nogreaterjoy.org

All scripture quotations are taken from the King James Holy Bible.

Reprinting or online posting of our books, booklets, magazine articles, transcriptions of cassettes, videos, DVDs, or CDs in their entirety is prohibited. Permission is granted to reprint and/or post online the first chapter of any of our books or booklets, subject to the following conditions:

1. Chapter must be reprinted in its entirety. Editing may be permissible, but must be submitted to Michael and Debi Pearl for their written approval prior to publication.

2. Complete recognition must be given as to the author/source, and must include mailing and/or website address for the reader to subscribe to No Greater Joy Magazine.

3. No copyright privileges are conveyed by reprinting/posting any portion of the No Greater Joy materials.

4. This license to reprint may be revoked for anyone abusing this privilege to reprint.

5. This license is in force until the printing of a public statement otherwise.

Cover photograph: Erin Harrison
Cover design: Lynne Hopwood

Printed in the United States of America

This book could not have been possible without the many friends who recklessly and, at the time, unknowingly contributed to the many examples found in these pages. Little did they know that their parenting was being scrutinized and documented.

To all the children named Johnny, I apologize. Some name had to be used to keep all others anonymous.

Although the majority of the text bears the name of Michael, and the smaller portion that of Debi, she played a constant role as critic and editor. Many of the creative ideas are hers. Without her, I could neither have been successful as a parent, nor have written this little book on the subject.

Michael Pearl

SWITCH YOUR KIDS

When you tell some parents they need to switch their children, they respond, I would if I could find someone willing to trade. I have had children in my house who were enough to give an electric wheat grinder a nervous breakdown. Their parents looked like escapees from a WWII Polish boxcar. Another hour with those kids and I would have been searching the yellow pages for discount vasectomies. While we tried to sit and talk, the children were constantly running in and out of doors, complaining of ill treatment from the others, begging to go or stay or eat, or demanding a toy that another child would not relinquish. The mother had to continually jump up and rescue some breakable object. She said, No, six hundred sixty-six times in the space of two hours. She spanked each child two or three timesusually with her hand on top of a diaper. Other than misaligning the childs spine, it seemed to have had no effect.

When we speak of consistently rewarding every transgression with a switching (not a karate chop to the lower backbone), some mothers can only visualize themselves further brutalizing their children, knowing it will do no good, anyway! Their discipline is just laying down a field of fire to give themselves sufficient cover to get through to the next task. They have no hope of conquering the childs will. They just desire to create enough diversion to accomplish their own mission.

Another mother walked into my house with her little ones and sat down to talk. She said to them, Go out in the sunroom and play, and dont bother Mama unless you need something. For the next two hours we were not even aware the children were present, except when a little one came in holding herself saying, Pee-pee, Mama. They played together well, resolved their own conflicts, and didnt expect attention when one of the girls turned the rocking horse over, which gave her a knot on her head. They didnt run in and outthey were told not to.

This mother did not spank her children while at my house, and she did not need to rebuke them. She looked rested. When she called the children to go home, one asked, Mama, can I stay and play with Shoshanna? Mother answered, No, not today. We have work to do at home. As he lifted his arms, his mother picked him up. Hugging his mothers neck, he said, I love you, Mama.

This young mother said to me, My children want to please me. They try so hard to do everything I say. We have such fun together. She is looking forward to having more children. They are the joy of her life.

By the grace of God and through the simple, Biblical principles found in these pages, and with determination and an open heart, this mother has trained-up children who bring her joy and honor.

OBEDIENCE TRAINING

Most parents dont think they can train their little children. Training doesnt necessarily require that the trainee be capable of reason; even mice and rats can be trained to respond to stimuli. Careful training can make a dog perfectly obedient. If a seeing-eye dog can be trained to reliably lead a blind man through the dangers of city streets, shouldnt a parent expect more out of an intelligent child? A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him. Cant a child be trained not to touch? A dog can be trained to come, stay, sit, be quiet, or fetch upon command. You may not have trained your dog that well, yet every day someone accomplishes it on the dumbest of mutts. Even a clumsy teenager can be trained to be an effective trainer in an obedience school for dogs.