Dr. Kevin Leman - Planet Middle School: Helping Your Child through the Peer Pressure, Awkward Moments & Emotional Drama

Youve Just Arrived on Planet Middle School

Theyre up, theyre down, theyre floating in the stratosphere. But you can make these weird years the best and most fun age of all.

Have you ever wondered if someone left the door open in your house and let an alien into your family room? Suddenly that sweet son who picked a dandelion from your yard and presented it to you like a prize rose, and that precious daughter who snuggled by your side on the sofa and told you all the secrets of her heart, have morphed into middle-schoolers you cant recognizecomplete with smart mouths and self-centered attitudes.

Just tell any mom on the playground that you have a child about to enter middle school, and youll get a cluck of empathy. Oh, you have one of those . Well, youll get through it, shell say and pat your hand in sympathy. To quote Sande, my dear wife, who has weathered (and enjoyed) raising four girls and a boy, Preadolescent and adolescent girls are the worst creatures walking the planet.

Middle-school boys can be mean and are often clueless. Middle-school girls can be even meaner, not to mention catty as all get-out too. One glimpse of two preadolescent girls going at each other will send all but the toughest of men running for cover.

Entering middle school is like stepping onto a different planet for both you and your childa time and an expanding universe where peer pressure, society, media, and technology influences, as well as hormone changes, can create havoc in your childs life and in your relationship. Your home environment can sometimes feel more like a red-hot planet about to spontaneously combust, especially if you have two middle-schoolers of the same gender cohabiting the same space. Solar flares of emotions are an everyday drama, and the sudden flashes can be blinding.

These expanding universe yearsages 11 through 13are when your child will do almost anything to fit in... yes, even if youve taught him to do otherwise and youre certain he knows better. With hormones swirling and body parts changing, all middle-schoolers are at risk for behaviors you wouldnt recognize as belonging to your son or daughter. Add together these influences:

• the continual bombardment flowing through their iPods, cell phones, and tablets;
• the interactions with their peers on a daily basis;
• the many schools that now use electronic textbooks; devices such as Chromebooks for assignments, tests, and research; and their own email systems;
• the popularity of Facebook and Twitter accounts, not to mention other social media; and
• the media messages of movies, YouTube videos and songs, and computer games;

and its no wonder todays middle-schoolers are growing up faster than ever before.

What you cant change are those ever-present facts of life. But you can learn to be smart about them. The middle-school years dont have to create chaos in your family. Whether youre smack in the middle of them or nervously anticipating them, you can navigate the meteor-strewn universe with confidence and a steady hand. With a little knowledge and some key principles, you can steer your middle-schooler toward lifelong success.