Do you know this person?
- He eats cereal out of a large mixing bowl.
- Her bedroom looks like a garbage dump... on a good day.
- She changes outfits three times before breakfast.
- If there was an Academy Award for eye-rolling, hed win.
- Her favorite sport is talking back.
- His earbuds are permanently glued to his ears.
- She can text like a mad woodpecker while watching The Bachelor , listening to her favorite music, and doing her homework.
- Some days he thinks that you, his parent, are the dumbest creature who ever walked this earth.
Congratulations! You have a teenager in your home.
Life will never quite be the same again (you already know that). But it can be better than youve ever dreamed .
I guarantee it.
2011 by Dr. Kevin Leman
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
E-book edition created 2011
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-4412-3399-8
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Scripture quotations are from The Living Bible , copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
To protect the privacy of those who have shared their stories with the author, some details and names have been changed.
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
To my little muffin,
aka Lauren, LB, Lorney, Lorney Beth,
the last Leman child to leave the nest
May your best dreams come true. I really cant wait to see what you accomplish in life.
Your compassion for others, your work ethic, and your friendly, outgoing naturenot to mention your downright lovelinesswill take you to great heights. So fly, my sweet angel, fly!
I love you,
Dad (and Mom too)
Contents
: Im Telling You, Theyll Get Weirder than Weird
Youve just entered the Great Metamorphosis.
: He Used to Be Normal. What Happened?
This alien creature didnt just morph overnight. How to make adjustments for your new life together.
: Talking to the Whatever Generation
Getting beyond the crossed arms, the grunt, the staring out the car window, and the whatever comments to reach your childs heart.
: Belonging Matters More than You Think
How to keep your teenager in your world while traveling through his or her world.
: Youre Grounded! (I Hope So)
Are your teenagers grounded for what they do... or grounded in who they are? How to raise a street-smart kid.
: Ka-ching , Ka-ching , Dividends on the Way
No more pull-ups. No more sippy cups. How to take advantage of these free n easy years.
The 75 hottest topics parents have asked Dr. Leman about in his seminars across the countryand his time-tested advice that really works. Plus more It Worked for Me stories of parents who tried Dr. Lemans tipsand are now smiling all over.
Acknowledgments
To my editor, Ramona Cramer Tucker, whose passion to grow a healthy relationship between parents and teenagers is as deep as mine, and who is the best mom to one of my favorite teenagers, Kayla.
To my Revell editor, Lonnie Hull DuPont, who always entertains the creative ideas of this baby-of-the-family author. She does a great job of making me behave myself.
And to Jessica Miles, my spot-on project editor, who doesnt miss a flaw.
Im Telling You, Theyll Get Weirder than Weird
Youve just entered the Great Metamorphosis.
I was in the airport recently, taking off my shoes, belt, and just about everything except my Skivvies to stash in one of those rubber bins to go through the security checkpoint. I happened to be carrying a copy of my books Have a New Kid by Friday and Have a New Husband by Friday rubber-banded togetherso I placed those in the bin too. After Id been wanded and cleared through security, I was gathering up my earthly possessions and still shoeless when a woman behind me exclaimed, Oh, Dr. Kevin Leman! I love him!
I swiveled to look at her. She was pointing to Have a New Kid by Friday in my bin.
Hes so practical, she said enthusiastically. He helped me raise all my kids.
I smiled. Well, I love him too.
I was going to let it go at that... until she frowned a bit, adding, Hes been around a long time. In fact, I wonder if hes still alive.
I figured then that Id better pony up. I pointed to the book. Well, him is me.
Her face morphed into shock. Youre kidding.
Top 5 Requirements to Parenting Teenagers
- A healthy sense of humor
- Long-term perspective
- The good sense God gave you
- The ability to say it once, walk away, and then let the chips fall where they may
- Some Excedrin... and a long nap
No.
Oh my goodness!
And I still have one teenager at home, I told her. A senior in high school. In fact, we had one child when my wife was 42 and I was 44, and another when my wife was 48 and I was 50.
Oops. She nodded sagely. Mistakes.
No, I said. Two great kids.
I meant every word.
Even better, I have been around a long time, and the good news is Im still alive! Even with weathering the teenage years five times with my kids!
If you picked up this book, youve just entered the Great Metamorphosisthose weirder-than-weird, critical years when your child is between the ages of 11 and 19. I call them the critical years because what your child does during these years can affect the rest of his or her life, and you, Mom or Dad, wont always be there to look over your childs shoulder.
Not that you would probably want to know all the things your teenager does. If you dont believe that to be true, think for a moment. What stories do you swap with friends now about the crazy things you did as a teenager? The dumb antics you pulled that would make your mom break out in hives or your dad gain a few more gray hairs? Things your parents had no idea you did until years later, when the crises had passed, and you could all laugh about them?
But no one needs to tell you these are years of great change, do they? The proof is right in front of your eyes. Your precious babies are growing up faster than you ever could have imagined. Suddenly pant legs are too short, appetites are never-ending, shoes are too small, and mouths are too large. Some of your kids will let you hug them until they get married; others, who used to be warm and cuddly toddlers, will give you a straight-arm like an NFL running back if you even attempt a hug in front of their friends. And dont forget the look that says its now your role to walk 10 feet behind your teenager, if you even have to walk on the same sidewalk at all. And heaven forbid if you drop her off at the front door at school, where all her peers can see your less-than-new SUV.
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