Dr. Kevin Leman - What a Difference a Mom Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Mom Leaves on Her Sons Life
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- Book:What a Difference a Mom Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Mom Leaves on Her Sons Life
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2012 by Kevin Leman
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2012
Ebook corrections 12.14.2017
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4412-1309-9
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from The Living Bible , copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
To protect the privacy of those who have shared their stories with the author, some details and names have been changed.
Mom:
- Do you want the best for your son?
- Do you hope that hell succeed in life?
- Do you wish you understood boys better? (After all, you didnt have any brothers, or if you did, you sure didnt understand them either.)
- Are there times your son thinks so differently from you that youre not quite sure how to relate or respond?
- Does his maleness sometimes disturb, annoy, or disgust you?
- Do you long for him to have strong, healthy friendships and a good relationship with you when he leaves home?
- Do you hope to have a great daughter-in-law someday who can also be a friend?
- Do you hope your son will be a good daddy?
If these are your dreams and wishes for yourself and your son, What a Difference a Mom Makes is the book for you.
I guarantee it.
Acknowledgments
Introduction: Boys Will Be BoysAlways
You panic. I dont know a thing about boys! Ah, but you will.
1. Your Boy Doesnt Need to Wear a Skirt (But He Does Need a Good Dose of Femininity)
You, Mom, leave an indelible imprint on your child. Heres why.
2. Planning Your Toddlers Wedding
Want a boy who will be a great husband for your future daughterinlaw and a great father for your grandchildren? Heres how. (By the way, did you know that you also play a large role in picking your future daughterinlaw?)
3. What Kind of Parent Are You?
What influenced you to become the parent you are? Whats your parenting styleand how does that affect Little or Big Fletcher?
4. Understanding Fletcher
Why is Fletcher the way he is? Why do he and his siblings squabble? Here are the secrets to knowing when to step in and when to butt out and let them handle it.
5. Discipline That WorksEvery Time
Say no to those daily battles with your son with a nofail plan.
6. Ages and Stages #1: From Infant and Toddler to Early School Age
Each step in the journey of growing up has its joys... and its challenges. Heres how you can get off to a great start and make the best of this time of transition.
7. Ages and Stages #2: From Middle School to High School
Each step in the journey of growing up has its joys... and its challenges. Heres how you can make the best of both and help your child step up to the plate on his own.
8. Guess What His Favorite Body Part Is
Theres no escaping our sexladen world or a boys growing interest in sex. But how you respond to and address your sons sexuality can make all the difference in his perspective.
9. Doormat, Dishrag, or Strong and Smart?
How do you treat yourself, Mom? And how do the men in your life treat you? Nows the time to stand up for yourselffor the sake of your son and his future relationships.
10. On Duty or MIA?
Does your son have an actively involved father or an emotionally or physically MIA daddy? Heres what to do with each one.
11. Are You Velcro Woman?
Youre mighty, but youre only one woman. So how can you juggle everything? Here are hints for sorting out whats important from whats not.
12. Your Someday Man
Someday the little boy with the bandaged knees and that mouthy, hormoneladen teenager will become a man. But the work you do now to capture his heart will pay offjust wait and see.
Epilogue: Good Ol Mom
Id never be where I am today if it werent for my mom, who believed in me despite all evidence to the contrary.
The Top 10 Countdown to Being an Awesome Mom
Notes
About Dr. Kevin Leman
Resources by Dr. Kevin Leman
T o my mother, May Leman, because I know firsthand what a difference moms can make in their sons life.
To my dear wife, Mrs. Uppington, because Ive seen the difference shes made in our sons lifeand so has the world.
To my editor, Ramona Cramer Tucker, who gets what boys of all agesincluding myself and her adventurous, fun-loving, go-for-the-goal husband, Jeffare about.
To my stellar Revell team, including Lonnie Hull DuPont, editor extraordinaire, and Jessica English, who fine-tunes my manuscripts to their brightest sheen.
Boys Will Be BoysAlways
You panic. I dont know a thing about boys!
Ah, but you will.
Y ouve always dreamed of having that precious little daughterone who is a little replica of you. You dream of the close relationship youll have as mother and daughter, watching her taking her first step, buying her first tutu for her ballet recital, arranging her hair for her first date...
And then you show up at the doctors office for your sonogram.
Whats that? you say, pointing at a little something you cant quite place on the blurry black-and-white image.
And the doc says, Thats a penis.
You frown, not understanding. My daughters got a penis? Then realization dawns. A boy?
Inside you start to panic. What do I do with a boy? I dont know a thing about boys!
Ah, but you will.
Maybe you werent raised with any siblings, or at least with any brothers. Perhaps your dad was MIA, so you didnt get much guy influence in your house. Or maybe you did have a brother, but you didnt understand him then... or now.
Or perhaps youre already thrown into the process of bringing up your boy. He might be an infant you recently birthed or adopted, and youre congratulating yourself because you just figured out how to strategically place the Pampers so you dont get those early-morning or late-night surprise showers when you change his diaper. Good for you! Youre on the road to success already.
Your son might be a toddler who has recently told you in that determined tone you know means business, By self, Mom. I do it by self.
Perhaps your son will soon be going off to preschool or kindergarten. You cant help but think, My babys leaving the nest. Half of you looks forward to the break (and the quiet!), but the other half mourns your son going off somewhereanywherewithout you.
Then theres your nine-year-old, who used to be so close and affectionate but now is backing off a bit. He even asked you the other day to walk a few steps behind him and said, Please , Mom, dont hug me in front of the guys.
And your adolescent son? The one who eats cereal in a bowl you could put a bowling ball in? Youre a little tired of hearing a grunt and then a door slam in response to your How was your day? Picking up sweaty socks from his jungle of a bedroom isnt your idea of a fun afternoon either.
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