Leman - Be the dad she needs you to be: the indelible imprint a father leaves on his daughters life

Do you...

... pray your baby will sleep through the night?

... wish shed stay this age forever?

... ever think, Why are there three of us in bed?

... chuckle at the thought that your four-year-old would make a good courtroom attorney someday?

... wonder why she looked at me is a criminal offense?

... find yourself muttering, Nine-year-olds dont need cell phones?

... wish you could understand that unfathomable feminine mind better?

... wonder what Ill be ready in a minute really means?

... struggle with the concept that her hair is close to sacred?

... feel like Judge Judy or Dr. Phil should be on retainer?

... wonder why its so important that a shirt matches the rest of an outfit, and why she needs twenty-two pairs of shoes when you only have three?

... have to extract your toothbrush from the tangle of curling irons, hair flatteners, extensions, scrunchies, and other do-jobbies in the bathroom?

... wish you had a definition for the word whatever?

... hope you discover gold in your backyard so you can pay for her upcoming college education?

... want to put in for a job that requires lots of travel to avoid her dizzying mood swings?

... ever wonder why her coffee costs $3.60 a cup?

... lie awake at night fearing your daughter will bring home a Loser, with a capital L?

... question what makes a $400 dress better than a $40 one? (After all, they use about the same amount of material.)

... believe your daughter could win Olympic gold in eye-rolling?

... dream up a new design every week for a man cave in the garage?

... feel like General Custer some Friday nightsmaking your Last Stand?

Dad, with just a little effort on your part, you can gain the kind of relationship you dream of with your daughterone based on mutual love and respect. Your daughter needs you to help her forge a successful path in life. Her self-esteem, choices, behavior, character, and even her ideas about a marriage partner are all directly tied to you. If you follow the simple suggestions in Be the Dad She Needs You to Be, you will be transformed into the kind of man your daughter needs you to be... for a lifetime.

2014 Dr. Kevin Leman

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by W Publishing, an imprint of Thomas Nelson.

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To protect the privacy of those who have shared their stories with the author, some details and names have been changed.

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2013922628

ISBN: 978-0-52912-332-9

ISBN: 978-0-52910-303-1 (eBook)

ISBN: 978-0-71801-150-5 (ITPE)

Printed in the United States of America

14 15 16 17 18 RRD 6 5 4 3 2 1

To my four daughters
Holly, Krissy, Hannah, Lauren
I love you.
Being a dad is the best gig I ever got.
Youve each given me great joy in your own unique way.
May the good Lord bless and keep you.
I know well live in each others hearts forever.

Contents

:

The quote Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus is right on the mark, but that doesnt mean you cant find common ground as dad and daughter.

Why you matter, especially to your daughter, and whats missing when youre AWOL.

It might not be what Mom would do, but you, Dad, can still get the job done... and done well.

Why its important for Papa Duck to know each youngun in the flock individually.

Theres nothing more important in life than living a disciplined, balanced lifestylefor you or your daughter.

Talking turkey to your developing daughter about sex, the male perspective, and responsibility.

What to do when the females in your house are at war and youre waving the truce flag.

What makes you good in the workplace can work against you at home. Heres how to turn things around.

Why buying your daughter stuff and popping in and out of her life will never satisfy what she wants mostyou.

Theres no higher compliment than, I want to marry someone just like you, Dad. How to help your daughter get the kind of man you want her to have.

... youll know that critter didnt get there by itself. Why your daughter needs your encouragement to succeed in life.

Your girl will grow faster than a speeding bullet. How to handle the transitions and fine-tune your priorities.

You leave an indelible imprint on your daughters heart. What will yours be?

T hanks to...

My beloved wife, Sande, whose wisdom about rearing daughters has rubbed off on me.

All those whose questions about dads and daughters sparked the inspiration for Be the Dad She Needs You to Bemy book readers, Facebook fans, seminar participants, television watchers, and radio listeners across North America and beyond. Nothing gives me more joy than serving you by providing simple, practical solutions to fine-tune your family relationships.

Debbie Wickwire, senior acquisitions editor at Thomas Nelson, for her passion and enthusiasm for the subject.

My editor, Ramona Cramer Tucker, for her well-honed publishing talents as well as the joy of watching her husband, Jeff, be a great daddy to their daughter, Kayla.

The quote Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus is right on the mark, but that doesnt mean you cant find common ground as dad and daughter.

I hate to admit this in public, because its a little embarrassing to a manly man, but I can think like a woman. I can get behind a womans eyes and feel her emotions. Its probably because Ive been surrounded by seven women the majority of my lifemy mother, my sister, my wife, and my four daughtersand how they think and feel has rubbed off on me. Dad, trust me on this: your daughter sees life completely different than you do. Thats why you need to read this book, so you can enter your daughters world in an informed way and make the kind of imprint only you can make on her life. There are certain things that are very different about bringing up girls compared to bringing up boys.

Did you know that Venus and Uranus are the only two planets in our solar system that rotate clockwise? But Venuss rotation was actually stopped, probably by an impact, and then reversed, whereas Uranus was only knocked over on its side and continues to spin in the same direction it did when it was formed. So when author John Gray said women were from Venuswhich also happens to be the hottest planet in our solar systemperhaps he was hinting that female creatures, in general, not only rotate in a different direction than male creatures, but edge more toward the emotional side.

I learned a very important lesson: You dont talk to girls the way you talk to boys.

For instance, when I coached girls middle school basketball, I learned a very important lesson: You dont talk to girls the way you talk to boys. If you do, theyll cry. In fact, if you surprise them and yell at them quickly, they might just run to the locker room.