Dr. Kevin Leman - Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Childs Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days

Are You a Candidate
to Read This Book?

Take our quiz to find out. Simply mark Y for Yes or N for No on the line before each entry.

About You

___ Do you expect the best of your child?

___ Do you mean what you say?

___ Do you follow through on what you say?

___ Do you hold your child accountable for his or her actions?

If youre 4 for 4 with all Y answers at this point and are feeling pretty good about yourself right now, you may not need this book. But if you have nothing better to do, finish the rest of this quiz just for fun.

___ Do you yell at, scream at, threaten, or cajole your children to do simple, routine things like get up for school, get dressed, eat, do homework, or perform a chore?

___ When you say no to your child and your child cries, are you overcome by guilt? Do you find yourself giving in to the original request of your childsaying yes to what you had just said no to?___ Do you engage in long conversations with your child, defending why you said no to a certain request?___ Are you worried that your child doesnt feel good about himself or herself?___ Are you bothered that your child doesnt seem happy?___ Do you plan over-the-top birthday parties?Seven-year-old Rosas parents chartered a bus and took her and multiple friends to a city 115 miles away so they each could Build a Bear; then they celebrated with cake and ice cream at an ice cream parlor.Five-year-old Mikeys parents rented the stadium club that overlooked an athletic field.Marti, a single mom, spent a whole months income on her 10-year-old daughters birthday party.___ Are you concerned about your child not keeping up with the success or achievements of other children?___ Have you ever wished another child would fail so your child would look better?___ Do you have a difficult time saying no?___ Do you have a hard time saying to your children what you really feel as a parent?___ Are you frustrated most days?

About School

___ Are you overly involved in your childs life? Do you fear that something terrible will happen if you dont chaperone every school field trip?___ Do you complete your childs school assignments and projects?___ Do you require a full explanation from your childs teacher when your child doesnt receive a superior grade?

___ Do you make excuses for your child not having completed his or her assignments on time? (Oh, it was our fault. We had to go to ______ and we had ______ to do.)

___ Does a simple homework assignment take the whole familys energy for an entire evening? Are the end results lots of tearsand frustrationsand an assignment that either never gets done or doesnt get done right?

___ Do you check and correct homework on your childs behalf?

About Your Children

___ Do they have to be asked to help around the house on a daily basis?___ Do they disrespect you and not value what you have to say?___ Do they fuss about obeying you?___ Do they lack for nothing?___ Are they engaged in one or more extracurricular activities?___ Do they need to be reminded more than once to do something?___ When they slam the door in your face, do you write it off as just the way kids are?___ Is bedtime a battle zone?

If any of these topics resonated with you and you marked even one Y, you need to not only read this book but carry it around with you . Keep one copy in your car and another in your home.

This book will scratch where you itch.

I promise.

Theres a conspiracy going on, right in your own home.

The ankle-biter battalion and the hormone group each have a game plan guaranteed to drive you up the wall. Have a New Kid by Friday is an action plan that will take your sails out of your childs wind and set him or her on a different course.

Its the miracle turnaround youre looking for.

I guarantee it.

Have a
New Kid
by Friday

How to Change Your Childs
A ttitude, B ehavior & C haracter
in 5 Days

Dr. Kevin Leman

2008 by Kevin Leman

Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com

Printed in the United States of America

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Leman, Kevin.
Have a new kid by Friday : how to change your childs attitude, behavior & character in 5 days / Kevin Leman.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-8007-1902-9 (cloth)
ISBN 978-0-8007-3276-9 (pbk.)
1. Discipline of children. 2. Child rearing. I. Title.
HQ770.4.L43 2008

649'.64dc22 2007041883

Scripture is taken from The Living Bible, copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

To protect the privacy of those who have shared their stories with the author, some details and names have been changed.

To my son,

Kevin Anderson Leman II

You have always been a great son.

Were so proud of what youve accomplished in life already. Winning two Emmys isnt too shabby.

I have to admit that its taken a little while

to get used to people coming up to me and asking

me if its true that Im Kevin Lemans father,

but its a role Im going to continue

to enjoy as the years go by.

What really means the most to Mom and me,

though, is the young man youve become.

We appreciate your kind, considerate, thoughtful nature.

We couldnt love you more,

and I pray that God will continue to

richly bless your life.

Love,

Your semi-famous father

Contents

Theyre Unionized... and Growing Stronger

Ive got news for you. Kids are unionized, and theyve got a game plan to drive you bonkers. Some hedonistic little suckers of the ankle-biter battalion have even graduated to emeritus status and are holding down the hormone group division. But you dont have to let them call the shots. Ive got a game plan guaranteed to work. Every time.

Where Did They All Come From?

These could have been General Custers last words, but they dont have to be yours. Why do your kids do what they doand continue to do it? And (secret news flash) how does your response to their war whoops relate to what your kids do?

Disarming the Dude (or Dudette) with the Tude

Want a kid without the attitude? With behavior that doesnt make you slink away from him in the grocery store? A kid with real character who isnt a character? Heres why Attitude, Behavior, and Character are the most important ABCs of alland how you can teach them in a way your child will never forget.

Show Me a Mean Teacher, and Ill Show You a Good One (Its All in the Perspective)

Look down the road 5, 10, 15, 20 years. Who do you want your child to be? What kind of parent do you want to be? With determination and 3 simple strategies for success, you can get to that pointwhether you have a 2-year-old, a 10-year-old, a 14-year-old, or a living-with-you-again young adult.

But What If I Damage Their Psyche? (Uh... Whats a Psyche?)

Lets debunk a major myth right now. Kids need Acceptance, Belonging, and Competencethe pillars of self-esteem. But theres a big difference between praise and encouragement, and your kid is smart enough to know it.

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