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Deborah Carlisle Solomon - Baby Knows Best: Raising a Confident and Resourceful Child, the RIE Way

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    Baby Knows Best: Raising a Confident and Resourceful Child, the RIE Way
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Baby Knows Best: Raising a Confident and Resourceful Child, the RIE Way: summary, description and annotation

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Raise self-confident, self-reliant children using the RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) Approach.
Your baby knows more than you think. Thats the heart of the principles and teachings of Magda Gerber, founder of RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers), and Educaring. Baby Knows Best is based on Gerbers belief in babies natural abilities to develop at their own pace, without coaxing from helicoptering or hovering parents. The Educaring Approach helps parents see their infants as competent people with a growing ability to communicate, problem-solve, and self-soothe.
Baby Knows Best is a comprehensive resource that shows parents how to respond to their babies cues and signals; how to develop healthy sleep habits; why babies need uninterrupted playtime; and how to set clear, consistent limits. The result? More relaxed parents and more confident, self-reliant children.

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In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the authors intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the authors rights.

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Copyright 2013 by Resources for Infant Educarers

Cover design by Ploy Siripant

Cover photograph by Barrow Davis-Tolot

Cover copyright 2015 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.

Hachette Book Group supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.

The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the authors intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the authors rights.

Little, Brown Spark

Hachette Book Group

1290 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10104

littlebrownspark.com

First ebook edition: January 2015

Little Brown Spark is an imprint of Little, Brown and Company, a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The Little, Brown Spark name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

All photographs are by Barrow Davis-Tolot, except for the photograph , by Elio Tolot. Photos edited by Barrow Davis-Tolot.

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The Hachette Speakers Bureau provides a wide range of authors for speaking events. To find out more, go to www.hachettespeakersbureau.com or call (866) 376-6591.

RIE, Educaring, the Educaring Approach, Educarer, RIE Associate, RIE Parent-Infant Guidance, RIE Foundations, RIE Practicum, RIE Internship, RIE Mentor, RIE Certified Program, Before Baby, Nurturing Nanny, Cuidadoras Cariosas, and additional marks are trademarks owned by Resources for Infant Educarers (www.rie.org).

ISBN 978-0-316-21921-1

E3-20180608-JV-PC

Praise for
Deborah Carlisle Solomons

One of the best things that ever happened to me as a mother was discovering RIE. Im forever indebted to Deborah Solomon and my other RIE teachers for helping me slow down, understand, and respect my baby. Even though my daughter is now nine, she is still a RIE baby at heart: calm, confident, and self-motivated. Baby Knows Best is a treasure of insights and wisdom. I will be giving this invaluable book to every new mother I know.

Maria Semple, author of Whered You Go, Bernadette

Outstanding! Deborah Solomon did it! She brought Magda Gerber to life in this absorbing and powerful book full of Gerbers words and ideas! Reading it took me back to the 1970s, when I sat on the floor and watched this famous infant expert in action working with a group of babies and parents. Deborah Solomons own experiences augment Magdas teachings and expand our thinking about who babies are and what they need. For many readers this book is bound to be loaded with potent new ideasideas that in some ways are quite different from the usual advice experts give parents. Easy to read, eye-opening, hard to forget!

Janet Gonzalez-Mena, coauthor of Infants, Toddlers, and Caregivers and author of Diversity in Early Care and Education: Honoring Differences

The RIE program is the single most relatable, intuitive, and commonsense approach to the modern-day conundrum of parenting. Baby Knows Best is the guidebook. It helps you get back to basics and makes you a better, more confident parent as you learn that Babies do indeed Know Best. A must-have on yours and your babys library shelf.

Jamie Lee Curtis

RIE gave us a loving methodology for how to do the most important thing in the worldunderstand and nurture our babies. It fostered a communication and interplay that weve built upon all their lives. This was invaluable and loving knowledge.

Jason Alexander

I think RIE should be a national program so that parents all over the country can have the opportunity that my family had.

Dee Dee Myers, former White House press secretary

RIE has been a blessing in our lives, giving us the chance to learn that our baby can teach us best when we observe carefully. Weve learned to respect him as he expresses his needs.

Gustavo Dudamel, music director of the Los Angeles Philharmonic, and his wife, Elosa Maturn

My greatest fear as a parent was making mistakes. I wanted some kind of rule book that told me how to handle every situation with an infant. RIE is the closest thing that I have found to this holy grail. How to be attentive but not intrusive, loving but not smothering, kind but not indulging, guiding but not controlling, strict but not rigidall this wonderfully laid out in RIEs Educaring Approach. We are raising an independent being that I can feel incredibly close to. Thank you, Magda Gerber and all the wonderful infant Educarers!

Hank Azaria

This book will be an invaluable contribution for parents and for anybody who cares about young children. RIE is a pioneering approach to caregiving that anticipated what science now tells us: that babies and young children thrive with sensitive care that is responsive to their signals and developmental needs. For parents who often feel torn between multiple demands, RIE offers a gentle, supportive approach that fosters their self-confidence and helps them rediscover the joys of raising a child. The RIE approach is a refreshing departure from the didactic, overly prescriptive books that seem to dominate the parenting literature. I strongly recommend this book.

Alicia F. Lieberman, PhD, author of The Emotional Life of the Toddler

This terrific book is written by someone who really understands daily life with a baby. Deborah Carlisle Solomon shows how you can build an enjoyable relationship with your baby through the power of observation.

Sue Gerhardt, author of Why Love Matters

A quietly brilliant parenting book, full of wisdom and calm guidance.

Publishers Weekly (starred review)

This book is dedicated to Magda Gerber, to RIE Associates who share her important work with others, and to the parents and caregivers who practice her Educaring Approach.

Observe more, do less.

Magda Gerber, Dear Parent

P arenting is a difficult job and one that is impossible to fully prepare for - photo 2

P arenting is a difficult job and one that is impossible to fully prepare for. My sons newborn diapers were neatly stacked, the drawer was full of Onesies, and my heart was full of love for a child I had yet to meet. Then Elijah was born. I asked the nurse at the hospital if I could stay just one more night. I had spent so much time lying awake gazing at my baby that I was utterly exhausted. The nurses kept saying, You need to sleep when he sleeps, but I didnt want to rest. I wanted to observe his every move and respond to his every gurgle. We arrived home, and the constant caring for my son hit me like a ton of bricks. I had never had a full-time job that was so, literally, full-time. Or one that was so demanding as well as important to me. When my husband and I took Elijah for his one-month checkup, his pediatrician asked me if I had been out of the house. When I told him that I hadnt even taken a walk in the neighborhood, he ordered me to stop hibernating and get out of the house. But how would I do that? Days went by when I couldnt even manage to squeeze in a shower. In those early weeks, having it sufficiently together to go for a stroll in the neighborhood seemed like climbing Everest. What if we were out and he started to cry? What if he was too cold? Too warm? What if it started to rain? What if? I had to be prepared for any contingency, didnt I? It wasnt that I was particularly anxious, but I felt I had to have all the answers.

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