Scribe Publications
THE HAPPY SLEEPER
HEATHER TURGEON, MFT, is a psychotherapist who writes about child development and parenting. Her writing has appeared on Babble (as the long-running Science of Kids column), Salon , The Daily Beast , and others, and she has covered the topic of sleep for many outlets, including as a science writer for the National Sleep Foundation. Heather lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two little ones both of whom are happy sleepers.
JULIE WRIGHT, MFT, is one of Los Angeles best-known parenting group leaders, and has taught thousands of moms in her popular Wright Mommy and Me groups at the celebrated Pump Station & Nurtury. Julie is a psychotherapist whose work focuses on empathic, mindful parenting; attachment, and sleep. She has specialised training and experience in the 0-to-3 years, interning at Cedars Sinai Early Childhood Center and LA Child Guidance Clinic. Julie lives in Los Angeles with her son, and visits her East Coast family often.
Scribe Publications
1820 Edward St, Brunswick, Victoria 3056, Australia
2 John St, Clerkenwell, London, WC1N 2ES, United Kingdom
Published by Scribe 2015
This edition published by arrangement with Jeremy P. Tarcher, a Penguin Random House Company
Copyright Heather Turgeon, MFT, and Julie Wright, MFT, 2014
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publishers of this book.
Neither the publisher nor the author is engaged in rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader. The ideas, procedures, and suggestions contained in this book are not intended as a substitute for consulting with your physician. All matters regarding your health require medical supervision. Neither the author nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestion in this book.
The moral right of the authors has been asserted.
National Library of Australia
Cataloguing-in-Publication entry
Turgeon, Heather, author.
The Happy Sleeper: the science-backed guide to helping your baby get a good nights sleep newborn to school age / Heather Turgeon, Julie Wright.
9781925106367 (AUS edition)
9781922247834 (UK edition)
9781925113549 (e-book)
1. ChildrenSleep. 2. InfantsSleep. 3. Child rearing.
Other Authors/Contributors: Wright, Julie (Julie Theresa)
649.1
scribepublications.com.au
scribepublications.co.uk
Contents
Creating Your Childs Sleep Schedule
Sleep Progress Chart
Sleep Wave Planner
Mindfulness Exercises for Parents
Sleep Meditations for Parents
Foreword
Compassionate, courageous, and creative, The Happy Sleeper is a book for every parent of a young child to savor in its magnificent exploration of effective strategies for helping children get to bed smoothly and sleep well through the night. Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright have written a user-friendly, scientifically informed, practical guide that provides the information and intention you need to cultivate healthy sleeping habits not only for your child but for yourself as well!
Why is sleep so important? It is during sleep that we secrete the growth hormones our bodies need to grow and replenish themselves well. Sleep also allows our body and brain to rest and recover from the days activities. Recent studies have revealed, too, that during sleep our brains in effect clean themselves upremoving unhelpful by-products of the days neural activityso that we can function well when were awake. Given all of this, its no surprise that babies and children need so many hours of sleep as they grow. Infants and toddlers sleep half their day or more! In childhood the amount of optimal sleep gradually decreases, but school-age children still need roughly 10 hours of sleep. Even as adults, we should spend about a third of our time sleeping!
Without the proper amount and quality of sleep, science reveals, we will have difficulty focusing, remembering, and calming our emotions. When we havent slept well we dont learn or operate as effectively because our brain hasnt had the necessary sleep time to optimize its functioning. Even more, without proper sleep, our immune system does not function well, and so we can become vulnerable to infectious diseases. And our metabolic system doesnt function optimally, so we can be prone to overeat and not process food well, putting us at risk for obesity and diabetes. For each of these reasons, sleep is one of the most important activities we humans participate in. And as parents, helping our children develop good sleep hygiene is one of the most important contributions we can make to their well-being.
In this fabulous guide, youll learn to take important findings from sleep research and combine them with a crucial working knowledge of attachment research so that youll optimize not only your childrens sleep habits, but also their attachment to you. Attachment is all about providing security for your children through anticipating their inner needs, making them feel safe, and communicating with them in a soothing manner. Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright are brilliant sleep whisperers with decades of experience helping parents cultivate secure attachment while simultaneously shaping healthy sleep habits. Thats exactly the combination studies suggest is the win-win-win of effective parenting: give your children the relationship security they need while also providing them the structure they require to sleep well and thrive. And all this while you, too, get some important rest.
Youll learn in these pages what science and clinical wisdom have to tell us about how to keep the relationship with your child filled with compassionate communication while also structuring healthy sleep strategies. Youll discover how you can nurture emotional understanding between you and your child while at the same time implementing behavioral strategies that ensure they get the sleep they need. The authors provide you with a framework that will leave you feeling confident in the positive outcome of your approach. This is a plan that works.
Parenting is one of the most challenging roles one can play in life. Its tricky to know when to hold our children close and when to let them venture out on their own to learn important skills, such as the self-soothing techniques that will help them be Happy Sleepers for the rest of their lives. Having this book as your companion, you will gain the clarity and conviction necessary to build a secure relationship with your child and, in turn, to help them build a secure relationship with themselves and their broader community. Read on, connect with compassion, creativity, and courage, and sleep well!
Daniel J. Siegel, MD
Introduction
Your baby already knows how to sleep.
Our clients are always shocked when they hear this. Theyve been breaking a sweat rocking their baby into a deep slumber, waking up every 2 hours to feed throughout the night, or wringing their hands in frustration with a wide-eyed, nap-resistant toddler.
But its true. Sleep is a basic action that babies are naturally born to do. Their bodies crave healthy sleep, and their brains are wired for it. By 5 or 6 months of age, almost all babies are capable of sleeping well without much assistance from Mom or Dad.
So why do so many families struggle at night? The answer is that most parents do what works today, dont notice when its no longer needed tomorrow, and then keep pushing even harder when its become a hindrance the day after that. They work overtime with all kinds of fanfare and tricks to put their babies to bed. Weve heard it all: parents feeding, rocking, and bouncing on a yoga ball for 45 minutes every night, lying down with kids, re-tucking, and refilling water glasses endlesslyone couple even told us they found themselves putting on a full music show with guitars, singing, and lights every night before bedtime.
Next page