Chireal Shallow - The Gentle Sleep Solution: The Naturally Nurturing Way to Help Your Baby Sleep

Contents

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the authors and publishers rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

Epub ISBN: 9781473503885
Version 1.0

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Vermilion, an imprint of Ebury Publishing,
20 Vauxhall Bridge Road,
London SW1V 2SA

Vermilion is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com

Copyright Chireal Shallow 2015

Chireal Shallow has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988

Permission to use Thinking Styles has been kindly granted by the CCI, Centre for Clinical Interventions

The Valued Living Questionnaire has been reproduced from Mindfulness for Two (Wilson and DuFrene, 2007) with kind permission of New Harbinger Publications. All rights reserved

First published by Vermilion in 2015

www.eburypublishing.co.uk

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 9781785040016

The author has chosen to use a combination of she and her and he and him; this is not to say that any part is relevant only to one sex, or that the sexes are interchangeable. It is a positive move towards balance and equality.

FIRSTLY, THIS BOOK would not be here if it werent for my daughters Pariss, Suraha, Sophie and Charlotte. Not only were you my inspiration, but you were the catalysts that allowed me to go on to help thousands of other children and their parents. I want to say a big thank you for allowing me to use you as my guinea pigs and for being such gracious, willing and fast learning students. You have allowed me to learn more about myself in the process or helping you all to sleep. I am truly honored to be your mum. I look forward to watching you grow into amazingly loving caring women with children of your own who sleep well too.

To all the amazing families I have worked with over the last 11 years, who came to me in times of need, trusted me and allowed me into their homes and we worked hard together to reach your goals. Thank-you for allowing me the opportunity to share your successes and your friendship.

I owe extreme gratitude to the people that have helped me on this journey, not only these recent months but through out the years when writing this book was just an aspiration. My mum Victoria without a doubt is a special person who has been my biggest fan, second only to my little sisters Abigail and Emily. The unwavering support from my extended family their grounding has been invaluable.

I want to thank those who at the very start of me setting up my sleep consultancy business supported me and believed in me and kept me going, this shout out goes to you. I also thank Andrew Palmer whose daily support and friendship and encouragement will never be forgotten.

I also want to thank Samantha Jackson and Julia, my editors from Ebury who believed in this project and came to me with this idea of putting my work together into a format that could be shared with the public. I would also like to thank Justine Taylor from Ebury who heard my voice and helped me navigate and structure my work, and to my agent Diane Banks and all her staff for your expertise and reassurance.

Lastly, I want to say a special heartfelt thank you to Pariss and her friend Brodie who were keen to use their English degree skills at the very start to help shape the proposal part of this very special piece of work. You guys are awesome.

YOUR BABYS NOT sleeping and its not your fault. I can almost hear you gasp. Thats right its not your fault and it most certainly is not your childs fault. Your baby is doing what she is designed to do responding to her environment. You are doing all you can to get through the day (to stay alive, to stay on top of things), and you are doing the best you can in the moment. I will not judge you, place blame or discourage you. I am tired of the advice that blames parents or the child for poor sleeping habits, so I can only imagine how it must make you feel. As a single mother of four children, I am well aware of the pressure from well-meaning health-care professionals, families and friends. Their advice and support is undoubtedly coming from a place of love and yet all this wealth of advice turns into pressure and you experience pressure, pressure to please, pressure to do the right thing, pressure to not disappoint, pressure to listen and pressure to be the best parent you can be. When I look back to when my babies were young I needed a helping hand not a wagging finger and I am guessing you do too. You have already taken the first step now let me guide you towards sleeping success.

The study of childrens sleep is imbalanced in favour of research into adult sleep difficulties, ignoring the fact that childhood sleeping problems, of which there is a varying array of issues, are extremely common, and may be the origin of some sleep problems found in adulthood. There is a lot that is not understood about sleep disorders in general, and many long-suffering families do not come to the attention of clinicians due to the widespread belief that disordered sleep is not a real problem, or that its a problem to be endured. Conversely, there is a sufficient amount of important information that we do know about sleep as well as sleep problems that relate to children that need to be shared. The issue of how sleep in children affects cognitive functioning, mood and behaviour has been observed and it has been accepted by those in the profession that many childhood sleep issues can be managed using psychological behavioural techniques. Moreover, what this says is that rather than seeing the problem as one to visit your GP or health visitor with using their medical or pharmacological approach, you are more likely to be successful using a behavioural approach and as such this is where psychologists such as myself have much to contribute to deeper understanding of how to effectively overcome childhood sleep issues.

I am a consultant psychologist, HCPC registered and BABCP accredited psychotherapist and sleep expert working with adults, families and children. Over my many years of practice I have specialised in anxiety disorders and depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), childhood trauma and sleep difficulties.

I have over 15 years of experience within the NHS and private sector, and I have helped thousands of individuals and families with emotional, behavioural and/or occupational difficulties. I am able to provide insight in understanding the issues that cause people to struggle in their home, social life and within the workplace. I have enjoyed using my interpersonal skills and therapeutic talents to enable people to begin their journey of personal change. Not only as an excellent motivational coach, but also as an intuitive and integrative psychotherapist, I am able to help all my clients achieve and often exceed their desired goals and improve their feelings of self-worth. I strongly and firmly believe that a warm and non-judgemental approach allows my clients to form strong therapeutic relational bonds that will effect change, and creates a space for my clients to benefit from an opportunity to achieve optimal personal growth.