Leigh Phillips - Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better: A Girls Guide to Guy Stuff

If youre anything like most women, youve experienced a situation like the following: You are hanging out with a group of friends when the subject turns to the sport du jourbasketball, hockey, or football, perhaps. Just a moment ago, you were in the swing of things, making conversation and tossing out clever quips. Now the topic being discussed is the infield-fly rule, and you are suddenly sidelined. Sure, youd like to talk March Madness or join in on the Fantasy Football pool at the office. The problem is, you just dont know enough to keep up. When it comes to talking about Division 1 Teams, Texas Hold Em, and draft picks, you suffer from underexposure. Fear not; help is on the way.

Its no revelation that many girls grow up with very little exposure to and guidance in sports. The causes for this are manifold: lack of programs, scant mentoring, and few role models. You may have an aunt who is really into baseball or a friend who likes to go to soccer games, butlets face itthese women are in the minority.

According to theories of evolutionary biology, the human brain only stores the knowledge deemed to be important to that individuals life. Think of the brain as similar to flypaper: Information is everywhere, and it races by us all the time, but the only thing that sticks is what is important in our personal world. Historically speaking, for women, sports usually just dont make the cut. But thats about to change.

You have what it takes to get in the game; you just need a little practice if you want to learn how to arm wrestle, make a mint at the track, or just sound like you know whats going on in the sports world.

Not to be confused with spring fever, March Madness is the name given to the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Mens and Womens Basketball tournament. It is, however, not just a sporting frenzy; it is also one of the most-bet-upon sporting events of the year, with an incredible $2.5 billion wagered in office pools and on Internet sites across the country. There are two things you need to understand about March Madness: the tournament itself and, more important, the office pool.

March Madness generally focuses on Division I of the mens basketball tournament. Of the 327 teams in Division I, only 65, chosen by a selection committee, are invited to the tournament.

These 65 teams are categorized according to four geographical regions: East, South, Midwest, and West. Each region starts with 16 teams, each of which is assigned a seed number, the best team being awarded the number 1 seed and the worst team the number 16 seed. Because 65 is an odd number, one region begins with 17 teams and the two lowest-ranked teams in that region play for the number 16 seed. Most often, one of the higher-seeded teams will win the tournament.

The beginning of the tournament moves pretty quickly, with the number of teams paring down from 65 to the Sweet Sixteen within the first four days. Those remaining 16 will battle through the rest of March, and the surviving teams from each region (the Final Four) play for the championship in early April. The semifinal games are played on the first Saturday in April, and the winners face off for the title on the following Monday.

There is undoubtedly someone in your office who coordinates the pool every year. He will most likely identify himself by babbling endlessly about the brackets and will be more than happy to take your money. (Be warned: Gambling is still illegal and you may want to check company policy before ponying up your stake.) Each member of the pool contributes the same set dollar amount. The winner of the pool takes home the cash. Sounds simple, right?

Each pool has its own rules, but the most common March Madness pool runs on a points system, with points awarded to pool participants for each correctly predicted game. Some pools are simple, offering the same number of points for each win, but in others the points increase as the teams progess toward the end of the tournament. For example:

Round One: 3 points per game

Round Two: 5 points per game

Sweet Sixteen: 11 points per game

Elite Eight: 17 points per game

Final Four: 30 points per game

Championship: 40 points

To win the pool, you must predict the winners of as many games as possible to have the highest point total.

Your picks are made prior to the beginning of the tournament and cannot be changed. You will try to predict the winner of every game, starting with the regionals. Your predicted winner of each regional will (we hope) be one of the Final Four. Then it is just a matter of picking the championship team for the big win. The further your picks advance, the more points you earn. If you lose all of your initial games, you basically suck, and you and your loser teams are out of the game and you lose the money you initially put down. In the case of a tie (if two people earn the same number of points in the pool), you may also have to predict the total number of points scored in the final championship game. In this situation, the person who most accurately predicts the points scored in the final game wins.