Ilyne Sandas - The Everything Parents Guide to Children with Anxiety: Professional advice to help your child feel confident, happy, and secure

THE
EVERYTHING
PARENTS GUIDE TO
CHILDREN WITH ANXIETY

Dear Reader,

Although we are psychologists specializing in anxiety and children, we are also moms, and know firsthand what it feels like to have a child who is struggling with a health issue. We understand the confusion and overwhelming feelings that can come with all the information available out there. That is why we feel so grateful for the opportunity to share our insights with you in this book.

The doctor and founding humanistic psychologist Alfred Adler once said, The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Remember this wisdom when it seems like your childs anxiety is taking over his life, and yours. His fear of facing fear is just one part of the whole of his person; so much more is waiting to be discovered. Therefore, we hope this book is the first step of many to give you clarity and a road to travel, as you help your child become a confident and happy individual, ready to take flight and soar.

Ilyne Sandas Christine Siegel

Welcome to
THE
EVERYTHING
PARENTS GUIDES

Everything Parents Guides are a part of the bestselling Everything series and cover common parenting issues like childhood illnesses and tantrums, as well as medical conditions like asthma and juvenile diabetes. These family-friendly books are designed to be a one-stop guide for parents. If you want authoritative information on specific topics not fully covered in other books, Everything Parents Guides are your perfect solution.

Alerts: Urgent warnings

Essentials: Quick handy tips

Facts: Important snippets of information

Questions: Answers to common questions

PUBLISHER Karen Cooper

DIRECTOR OF ACQUISITIONS AND INNOVATION Paula Munier

MANAGING EDITOR, EVERYTHING SERIES Lisa Laing

COPY CHIEF Casey Ebert

ACQUISITIONS EDITOR Brielle Matson

SENIOR DEVELOPMENT EDITOR Brett Palana-Shanahan

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Hillary Thompson

Visit the entire Everything series at www.everything.com

THE
EVERYTHING
PARENTS GUIDE TO
CHILDREN
WITH
ANXIETY

Professional advice to help your child
feel confident, happy, and secure

Ilyne Sandas, M.A., L.P., and Christine Siegel, M.A., L.P.
with Deborah D. White, Ph.D., L.P.

To every parent who suffers along with his or her
anxious childthis book is for you.

Copyright 2008 by F+W Publications, Inc.
All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

An Everything Series Book.
Everything and everything.com are registered
trademarks of F+W Publications, Inc.

Published by Adams Media, an F+W Publications Company
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322 U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-59869-686-6
ISBN 13: 978-1-59869-686-8
eISBN: 978-1-60550-796-5

Printed in the United States of America.

J I H G F E D C B A

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available from the publisher.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.

All the examples and dialogues used in this book are fictional, and havebeen created by the author to illustrate disciplinary situations.

A treatable, yet overwhelming sense of apprehension, worry, and/or fear, marked by physical symptoms such as heart palpitation, nausea, tension, trembling, and sweating and psychological symptoms that include self-doubt about ones ability to cope.

Acknowledgments

Thanks to our agent, Mary Sue Seymour, and our editors at Adams Media, Kerry Smith, and Brielle Matson. A special thank you goes to Dr. Deb White, our technical reviewer, for her expertise, guidance, and friendship throughout the writing process. Moreover, a big shout-out of love to our families for their support: Jesse, Sara, Molly, Brian, Katie, Mike, Maddie, Jim, and Cheryl! We thank you for your understanding and willingness to give us the time and space to do this project.

Contents

Introduction

Congratulations! By picking up this book, you are already on the road to a life less encumbered by anxiety for your child, yourself, and your family. As with any serious health issue, learning to manage the symptoms of anxiety is a topsy-turvy journey, much like being swept up in a tornado where life can seem as if it is spiraling out of control. Like Dorothy and Toto in The Wizard of Oz, sometimes you will not know where you are going, and it may feel like you have landed in a surreal dream, ill-equipped to handle your new and unfamiliar surroundings. After you realize that your child is struggling with an anxiety disorder and the initial storm has passed, you may feel like the weight of it all has dropped on you like a house out of the sky.

Like the travelers in this familiar story, you and your child may encounter many trials and perhaps some distractions and deceptions on the road to recovery. At times, the journey may take twists and turns, and seem to double back on itself, while the wicked witch of anxiety and all of her minions lurk around the corner. Just as in Oz, the good witch cannot simply wave her wand and take all of the fear away; you, your child, and perhaps your family will need to travel the road together, gathering insight and experience to find your way back home. Although at times you might feel discouraged and exhausted, keep faith in the process with your sights on the horizon; its promise and glow will pull you forward during even the bleakest of times. Rest assured that, as the lessons in this book are presented in a spiraling fashion, sometimes repeated in new ways for your benefit, you will be weaving your way to the final destination.