Stephen Martin - The Everything Parents Guide to Children with OCD: Professional, reassuring advice for raising a happy, well-adjusted child

THE

EVERYTHING

PARENT'S GUIDE TO

CHILDREN WITH OCD

Dear Reader,

We assembled in this book everything we thought might help you bring your child through the fight of his lifeagainst a mighty opponent called obsessive-compulsive disorder, OCD.

For Stephen Martin... this means my own personal experience as someone who has dealt with OCD all my life. Ive also shared what Ive learned in my thirty years in private psychotherapy practice, working with parents and children to keep familie s together through every challenge imaginable. I have no doubt the presence of mental illness in the family is one of the hardest and most heartbreaking crises for parents to face. I hope the tools in this book help you make it through and ultimately thrive in this time of stress.

For Victoria Costello... writing this book has been an opportunity to share what Ive gained as a science writer and from dealing with mental illness in three generations of my own family. My greatest source of strength through it all has been the support Ive felt from other parents whove survived the same ordealwith grace and love to spare.

We hope that you, too, will find the strength that comes from family and community.

Stephen Martin, M.F.T.

Victoria Costello

Welcome to

THE

EVERYTHING

PARENT'S GUIDES

Everything Parents Guides are a part of the bestselling Everything series and cover common parenting issues like childhood illnesses and tantrums, as well as medical conditions like asthma and juvenile diabetes. These family-friendly books are designed to be a one-stop guide for parents. If you want authoritative information on specific topics not fully covered in other books, Everything Parents Guides are your perfect solution.

Alerts: Urgent warnings

Essentials: Quick handy tips

Facts: Important snippets of information

Questions: Answers to common questions

PUBLISHER Karen Cooper

DIRECTOR OF ACQUISITIONS AND INNOVATION Paula Munier

MANAGING EDITOR, EVERYTHING SERIES Lisa Laing

COPY CHIEF Casey Ebert

ACQUISITIONS EDITOR Lisa Laing

DEVELOPMENT EDITOR Brett Palana-Shanahan

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Hillary Thompson

Visit the entire Everything series at www.everything.com

THE

EVERYTHING

PARENT'S GUIDES TO

CHILDREN
WITH OCD

Professional, reassuring advice for
raising a happy, well-adjusted child

Stephen Martin, M.F.T., and Victoria Costello
with Linda L. Simmons, Psy.D.

Avon, Massachusetts

Copyright 2008 by F+W Publications, Inc.
All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

An Everything Series Book.
Everything and everything.com are registered
trademarks of F+W Publications, Inc.

Published by Adams Media, an F+W Publications Company
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322 U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-59869-685-8
ISBN 13: 978-1-59869-685-1
eISBN : 978-1-60550-795-8

Printed in Canada.

J I H G F E D C B A

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available from the publisher.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

The EverythingParents Guide to Children with OCD is intended as a reference volume only, not as a medical manual. In light of the complex, individual, and specific nature of health problems, this book is not intended to replace professional medical advice. The ideas, procedures, and suggestions in this book are intended to supplement, not replace, the advice of a trained medical professional. Consult your physician before adopting the suggestions in this book, as well as about any condition that may require diagnosis or medical attention. The author and publisher disclaim any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of this book.

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.

All the examples and dialogues used in this book are fictional, and havebeen created by the author to illustrate disciplinary situations.

The authors dedicate this book to the brave parents who arestanding behind their children as they do battle with OCD.As a parent, know that through this experience your childwill gain strength of character well beyond her years.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Anxiety disorder characterized by obsessive, distressing, intrusive thoughts and related compulsions that attempt (unsuccessfully) to neutralize the obsessions. OCD is a neurobiological disorder affecting children and adults, which can be managed using medications and/or psychotherapy.

Acknowledgments

The authors would like to acknowledge their children. For all the dark nights and the bright mornings that followed, the lessons on how to be a better parent, and those ineffable insights that came later, and always quieter, about how to be a better human being.

Contents

Introduction

The mother of an eight-year-old girl with OCD told the story of her daughters nightly ritual before she went to bed: The prayers she had to say for everyone she cared about, lest they meet harm before morning. The fears and tears at the thought shed forgotten someone. The way the curtains on her bedroom window had to meet exactly equal distances from each side of the windowsill. How the bedspread had to lie without a single wrinkle. And then, once she finally got under the covers, the counting to whatever number was her magic number that day.

The girls mother remembered one especially painful night, when her frustrated and exhausted daughter turned to look at her younger sister sleeping soundly in the bed next to hers, and asked, Mommy, why cant I be normal? That was the night this mother realized she had to get help, for her daughter and the entire family.