Louise Bates Ames - Your Eight Year Old: Lively and Outgoing

CAN
YOUR EIGHT-YEAR-OLD
MAKE YOU A HAPPIER, LESS STRESSED,
AND MORE EFFECTIVE PARENT?
YOU BET!
FIND OUT ABOUT

• Quality time an Eight-year-old has special needs for attention. Busy parents need to know how much timeand what kind of timeyour child must have. See pages .
• What? a four-letter word sure to drive parents of Eights crazy. Is your child tuning you out? Whats really going on in an Eight-year-olds mind.? See page .
• Food allergies you know about junk food, but you probably dont know what common good foods can make your child sick or affect behavior in hidden ways. See page .
• Signs of school stress is your child suffering from tensions coming from too much school too soon? Learn what to watch for and what a concerned parent must do. See pages .
• The best birthday bash ever ten or more Eight-year-olds in one room can spell bedlam or an incredibly happy day for both child and parents. Get a complete birthday party guide. See pages .
• Bed-wetting new commercial devices really do work to stop this emotionally devastating problem for a sensitive Eight-year-old. Dont miss out. See pages .

and more!

YOUR EIGHT-YEAR-OLD

I think [these books] are delightful and likely to capture the imagination of young parents enough to get them through these years. I think the books will be both a pleasure and support for many parents.

T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., author of Toddlers and Parents and Infants and Mothers

These are cheerful, optimistic books. I agree with just about everything they say.

Lendon Smith, M.D., author of Feed Your Kids Right

A Dell Trade Paperback
Published by
Dell Publishing
a division of
Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc.
1540 Broadway
New York, New York 10036

Copyright 1989 by Gesell Institute of Human Development

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eISBN: 978-0-307-80896-7

Reprinted by arrangement with Delacorte Press

v3.1

chapter one
CHARACTERISTICS
OF THE AGE

The typical Eight-year-old can be described as outgoing, lively, and evaluative. Unlike the child at Seven, he does not withdraw when the going gets tough. On the contrary, he remains right out in front, meeting every challenge that life throws his way.

With his typically outgoing, expansive nature, an Eight-year-old is much more responsive to his environment than at Seven. With his high energy level, he seems willing to tackle almost anything, even the new and difficult. He is expanding emotionally, growing out of his earlier shyness, and relating to other people more easily than he used to. He even approaches strangers with some confidence.

Eights liveliness, or speed, is obvious to almost any adult. He darts around the house or yard, seemingly unaware of physical obstacles in his path. His entire body seems ready for action. He works fast, plays fast (loves running games), talks fast, even eats fast. When necessary he can shift very rapidly from one activity to the next, and wastes little time in looking back.

Though at times his expansiveness and speed lead to carelessness, these usually dont cause the Eight-year-old too much difficulty. However, his evaluativeness certainly does. It makes him all too aware of his own failures. Eight tends to be hard on himself for his mistakes. His evaluativeness also makes him all too aware when other people do not respond as he would like them to. Eight is extremely sensitive to perceived criticism of others. On the other hand, this evaluativeness sometimes helps him make sound judgments as to what he can or cannot accomplish, when he is or isnt going to be successful. This helps to curb his headlong rush into things and can sometimes prevent him from undertaking the totally impossible.

Intellectually, as in other ways, Eight is becoming more expansive. He can express amazement and curiosity. He is growing aware of the impersonal forces of nature. He can distinguish fundamental similarities and differences when comparing a baseball and an orange, an airplane and a kite, wood and glass. The origin and growth of plants from seeds begins to intrigue him. He takes a deepening interest in the life processes of animals. He is even beginning to believe that all men are mortal and that even he will one day die. But at this relatively positive age, this knowledge does not depress him as it might have done earlier.

How Eight loves to talk! He comes home from school just bursting with news: You never saw anything like it! Oh, it was awful! In fact, everything tends to be dramatized: Hey, whats the matter with me! This has got me crazy! I always get the easy ones wrong.

Personal space is expanding for the Eight-year-old. He can now return home alone by bus from a somewhat distant point. His walking area within his own neighborhood is so wide that it is sometimes hard to locate him. He loves to take trips to new cities, visit museums, zoos, and other places of interest. Eights spatial world is expanding even further through an interest in geography. He has a fairly clear notion of points of the compass and different parts of his community in relation to each other.

The child at Seven tended to stick close to home. Eight explores new territory. He sees beyond the boundaries of his neighborhood. He likes to order from a mail-order catalog, loves to look things up in the encyclopedia.

Eight is in general healthier and less fatiguable than he was at Seven, more fond of rough-and-tumble play and boisterous games. His tempo is rapid when he talks, reads, writes, or practices the piano. He wolfs down food, sitting on the edge of his chair, ready to bolt outdoors without pulling up his socks or tucking in his shirt. Eight-year-old boys may add a little bravado to their slap-dash demeanor to emphasize their masculine toughness.

The Seven-year-old was in many ways, with his anxieties and dark suspicions, still very much a child. Eight seems to be moving toward adulthood. He is definitely growing up; he even looks more mature than he did at Seven. Subtle changes in Eights body now hint at the body he is going to have when he gets older. He is much better coordinated when it comes to sports.

Relationships are extremely important at this agethe childs relationships with Mother and Father, with friends. At Six the child was busy building up practical working relationships with others. Now the girl or boy is building up emotional and attitudinal relationships. How he feels about others and how they feel about him is important.