Sal Severe - How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!

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Table of Contents

What Professionals Say About This Book...

Your book is wonderful. Not only does it contain a wealth of very sensible and realistic information about parenting, but, in addition, your style of writing makes it a pleasure to read. Your respect for children and parents is apparent on every page as is your warmth and sense of humor.

Robert Brooks, Ph.D., diplomate in clinical psychology; faculty, Harvard Medical School; and author, The Self-Esteem Teacher

This book is concise yet comprehensive. My wife and I use the ideas with our own children. The techniques work. Whenever a parent asks me about child misbehavior, this is the book I recommend.

Neil Aaron, M.D., FAAP, pediatrician

This book has been an invaluable enrichment to my life-skills curriculum for at-risk students. It is better than any textbook I have ever seen. The examples are so real. It makes parenting come alive.

Cindy Wojtowicz, high school teacher

I have read many parenting books. This book is the best. It is easy to read and understand. The suggestions are practicalthey make sensethey really work. It is an enlightening book for teachers to give to parents of difficult students. In fact, it is a great book for teachers to read, too.

Marshall Langan, school psychologist

I have recommended this book to hundreds of parents and teachers. This book empowers parents with specific, positive strategies that they can begin using immediately. It teaches parents how to develop self-discipline in their children.

Mary Ann Perez, Head Start director

This book takes complicated parental challenges and puts them in easy-to-understand, workable terms. Practical parenting strategies are offered which not only deal effectively with childrens misbehavior but also will improve the quality of the parent-child relationship.

Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D., coauthor of Im Not Mad, I Just Hate You!: A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict

What Parents Say About This Book...

Your book makes everything so clear. I feel like a new person. My life is so much easier because my children are now so much easier to manage.

You let me know I was not alone. I thought I was the only one with these problems. Your book has changed my life. Thank you so much.

The stories in your book are what teach the lessons. Your book is exactly what I needed. The changes in my children (and me) have been remarkable. I am so thankful my sons teacher recommended it.

I needed this book. And so did my daughter. We have started to hug again.

Thank you for showing me how to stop screaming and hitting. My children thank you, too.

My son asked me to tell you thank you. He likes the new way I behave. I am a new mom.

As I was reading this book, I felt as though you and I were having a conversation about the problems I was having with my children. I could relate to so many things you say. It was perfect for me. My children are so much better.

I bought this book for my daughter to read. She has two young boys. Your book teaches parents what I had to learn the hard wayand it took twenty years. Your book is on target with every issue.

My child and I have both improved. Mewith discipline. Herwith behavior.

Your book has completely changed the way I think about my children. I like them now.

Most books I read make me feel guilty. I feel like the author is judging me. Your book is different. It was comforting to read. No patronizing, just lots of great ideas. Thanks.

penguin books

HOW TO BEHAVE SO YOUR CHILDREN WILL, TOO!

Dr. Sal Severe, Ph.D., is also the author of How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will, Too! and has been a school psychologist for more than twenty-six years. He was president of the Arizona Association of School Psychologists, serves on the advisory board of Parents magazine, and is a member of the National Association of School Psychologists. He and his family live in Phoenix, Arizona.

PENGUIN BOOKS
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A.
Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
Penguin Books Australia Ltd, 250 Camberwell Road,
Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia
Penguin Books Canada Ltd, 10 Alcorn Avenue, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4V 3B2
Penguin Books India (P) Ltd, 11 Community Centre,
Panchsheel Park, New Delhi - 110 017, India
Penguin Books (N.Z.) Ltd, Cnr Rosedale and Airborne Roads,
Albany, Auckland, New Zealand
Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue,
Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa

Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

First published in the United States of America by
Greentree Publishing Company 1997
This expanded edition first published by Viking Penguin,
a member of Penguin Putnam Inc. 2000
Published in Penguin Books 2003

Copyright Sal Severe, 1997, 2000

All rights reserved

authors note
All children are unique and this book is not a substitute for advice you may
receive from another professional who knows you or your child personally.

ISBN : 978-1-4406-2744-6

1. Parenting. 2. Parent and child. 3. Child rearing. I. Title.
HQ755.85 .S48 2000
649.1dc21 99-054860

The scanning, uploading and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the authors rights is appreciated.

http://us.penguingroup.com

To those who taught me the most
about good parenting:
my parents, Mary and Tony, and
my children, Anthony, Leah, Alyssa, and Dominic

Parents need to understand that their childrens behavior is often a reflection of their own behavior. Thats what makes this book unique. It does not focus on what children do wrong. It teaches parents what they can do differently.

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners; contempt for authority; show disrespect for elders.... Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households.... They contradict their parents... and tyrannize their teachers.

Socrates, c. 390 b.c.

Preface

I have spent the last twenty-five years working with behavior-disordered children. Some of these children exhibited emotional problems, learning disabilities, and attention deficits. Most of these children were undisciplined, or rather, underdisciplined. They were all children who did not fit in because of the way they behaved. They did not fit in school or in the community. They did not fit in with other children.

Unfortunately, most of these children did not fit into their families, either. This was the problem I decided to resolve. I reasoned that working with parents had the greatest potential. Improve a childs family life, and all other aspects will improve as well. So I began sharing the experience I had learned within schools and treatment centers with parents. The results were amazing. Spending an hour a week with a childs parents was significantly more therapeutic than counseling the child for an hour.

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