Debbie Alsdorf - Its Momplicated: Hope and Healing for Imperfect Daughters of Imperfect Mothers

Im not sure Ive read a more helpful book on how we daughters are shaped by our mothers loveor unloveas well as what to do about it. What am I sure about? In these pages you will find hope as well.

ELISA MORGAN

Speaker and author of The Prayer Coin and The Beauty of Broken

If your relationship with your mother is complex, problematic, difficult, and full of twists and turns, dont miss this book! Debbie Alsdorf and Joan Edwards Kay have combined their stories and their wisdom to help you understand the past, identify thorny issues, and lead you to right choices that will bring understanding, healing, and a deeper connection with God. This is a must-read book and is an important resource for individuals, counselors, and Christian leaders. I highly recommend Its Momplicated!

CAROL KENT

Speaker and author of He Holds My Hand

Shouldnt this be easier? That is the big question when it comes to mother-daughter relationships. But being both a mother and a daughter, Ive realized that maybe it should be easier, but it just isnt. Its Momplicated has given me not only keen new insight into my own unmet needs, but compassion for a loving mom who tried to meet my spokenand unspokenneeds. Another great benefit of reading Debbie and Joans excellent book is the insight its given me into understanding and connecting with my adult daughter in the ways that she needs a mom and always will. A healing and, most of all, freeing read. Highly recommended.

KATHI LIPP

Speaker and bestselling author of The Husband Project and Clutter Free

Its Momplicated is a skillful, well-laid-out blend of the spiritual, emotional, and psychological aspects to understanding the influence of this primary relationship between moms and daughters. It provides a respectful, substantial structure for exploration of both the gifts and the pain of this relationship and charts an informed course for healing and celebration. As a mom and daughter, I found it personally and profoundly transformative in one reading, but I know I will revisit it time and time again. As a clinician, I can see this being a great therapeutic intervention for those struggling to have healthy relationships. This is not just a book for moms and daughters, but for anyone wanting to understand how our earliest relationships are impacting how we relate to others now, offering a way to remove the obstacles that often prevent relationships from being all they can be.

MARY JEAN WALTON, MA, LMFT

Executive director of the Christian Counseling Center, San Jose, California

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Its Momplicated: Hope and Healing for Imperfect Daughters of Imperfect Mothers

Copyright 2018 by Debbie Alsdorf and Joan Edwards Kay. All rights reserved.

Cover concept copyright by Jeffrey Coolidge/Getty Images. All rights reserved.

Cover photograph of yarn taken by Thom King. Copyright by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.

Author cover photographs copyright 2018 by Nina Pomeroy Photography. All rights reserved.

Childhood photographs of authors are from their personal collections and used with permission.

Designed by Julie Chen

Edited by Bonne Steffen

Published in association with the literary agency of Books & Such Literary Management, 52 Mission Circle, Suite 122, PMB 170, Santa Rosa, CA 95409.

The poem Your Mother Is Always With You is written and copyrighted by Deborah R. Culver and used with permission.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked AMP are taken from the Amplified Bible, copyright 2015 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible, copyright 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message, copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

All stories in this book, unless otherwise noted, are composites. Names and details have been changed to protect confidentiality.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Alsdorf, Debbie, author.

Title: Its momplicated : hope and healing for imperfect daughters of imperfect mothers / Debbie Alsdorf, Joan Edwards Kay, MA, LMFT.

Description: Carol Stream, Illinois : Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2018. | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2018017670 | ISBN 9781496435903 (hc : alk. paper) | ISBN 9781496426574 (sc : alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Mothers and daughtersReligious aspectsChristianity. | Mothers and daughters. | MothersReligious life. | DaughtersReligious life.

Classification: LCC BV4529.18 .A54 2018 | DDC 248.8/431dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018017670

Build: 2022-01-20 09:26:10 EPUB 3.0

To my sister, Sharon. You were a light in my childhood, and I will always thank God for you. I am stronger because of your love.

Debbie

To Sara and Juli, who love me despite my momplicated ways. You are my greatest legacy.

Joan

Even if my father and mother abandon me, the L ORD will hold me close.

PSALM 27:10

Can a mother forget her nursing child?

Can she feel no love for the child she has borne?

But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!

See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.

ISAIAH 49:15-16

My MotherMy Heart

W HEN YOU HEAR THE WORD