Kendra Smiley - Journey of a Strong-Willed Child

There are many people who deserve a thank-you when it comes to the writing of this book.

John and I would like to thank:

• Our dear friend and former office manager, Pam Rush, who made every project so much easier.

• Our extended family (near and far), who have encouraged us as they have encouraged our children (strong-willed or otherwise).

• Our Moody Publishers editors, Elsa Mazon, Ali Childers, and Betsey Newnhuyse, whose enthusiasm and prayers were and are a wonderful blessing.

• Our son Aaron, for being so transparent and so honest.

• The remainder of our children and children-in-law: Matthew and Marissa, Kristin, and Jonathan and Ashley for being the supportive, creative, and delightful people that they are. We are blessed.

• And neither last nor least, my very best friend, Jesus.

Your turn, Aaron.

Thanks to:

• My first grade teacher, Grandma, who taught me how to read and expected the best out of me every day. Thanks, too, for always finding something for me to eat and for sharing memories with me.

• Mrs. Janet Crouch for caring about me as a person first and a student second.

• Mrs. Ada Murray for her discipline that made our class feel so safe.

• Mrs. Marty Lindvahl for her forgiveness and for never keeping score.

• Mr. Mark Lindvahl for modeling excellence day in and day out.

• Mr. Bill Medler for challenging me to learn how to think.

• Mr. Quentin Ryder for allowing me the freedom to express myself and to share my ideas.

• Ed Lockhart for trusting me with adult responsibility at such a young age.

• Lawrence and Loretta Alt for talking and dreaming with me when I was a boy, but treating me like an adult. Thanks for encouraging me when it seemed like no one but my family believed in me.

• Uncle Wynn for all the effort he put into being an uncle. That effort provided all of us with many great experiences.

• Grandpa for giving me the opportunity to be a part of agriculture, an interest that means so much to me, and for being generous in every way.

• Mom for putting my ideas and memories of childhood into this book so that they can help others. Thanks for crying and laughing with me through the ups and downs.

• Dad for never giving up hope that I would finish my journey and for the rules that were reasonable and never changed on a whim. Thanks for the fair punishment. You had the hardest job because you put limits on my life that I hated but didnt want to live without.

• Matthew, my older brother, for sharing his friends with me and including me. Thanks for always being a rational voice in my sometimes irrational world.

• Jonathan, my younger brother, for being so flexible and being willing to play with me when we were younger and later helping me with all the different work weve done together.

• Kristin, my wife, whom I do not deserve but who is a blessing from God. Thanks for caring for me and loving me through my ups and downs. Your love helps to make my life complete.

• Jesus Christ, for saving me from my sins. I will never fully understand why He sacrificed so much for us, but I gratefully accept His free gift of salvation.

The Lord your God has blessed you
in all the work of your hands.
He has watched over your journey
through this vast desert.
D EUTERONOMY 2:7

Aaron wants two cookies, said Matthew, his older brother. He wants a glass of cold milk, too. Once again, Matthew was correct. Aaron was content to allow his older brother to speak for him for the first eighteen months or so of his life. And why not? He was doing a great job of getting Aaron just what he wanted. Who would have ever suspected that this quiet little guy would be our strong-willed child? Yet, we had an inkling from early on.

No! Again! Aaron said in loud, defiant protest as I calmly explained that our time on the amusement ride had come to a close. NO! he said even louder, with fast and furious tears. AGAIN!

As I pried his little fingers from the safety bar, another rendition of Its a Small World played in our ears. I won the battle, but I had a very unhappy young man on my hands. He wanted to go again, and it was obvious that he felt certain that he should have what he wanted. Generally speaking, what Aaron wanted was to be in control of himself. Thats what your strong-willed child wants, too! Its not just Aaron, its Aaron and others.

It has been said that a journey begins with a single step. Many times the journey of a strong-willed child starts even before the first step is taken. A strong-willed child, it would seem, is born strong-willed, with intense opinions and a demanding nature. Hes born with the desire to control his own destiny and the uncanny ability to actually secure that control in many instances. Strong-willed children come into the world strong-willed and, for that matter, probably exit as strong-willed adults. By that time they have potentially tempered the negative aspects of their strong-willed nature. They have learned to cooperate, acquiesce, and respond to the leadership of others when it is in their best interest. In all hopes, they also capitalize on the pluses of their strong-willed nature. That is the goal we have for our high-maintenance children. Our desire is to contribute in a positive way to their development as responsible adults. Our job is not to break their spirit, but to shape their will.