Henry Dittman - Daddy Drinks: Six Dads Trying to Get It Right—While Getting It Hilariously Wrong

D ADDY D RINKS Six Dads Trying to Get It Right
While Getting It Hilariously Wrong By Henry Dittman, Padraic Duffy, Victor Isaac, Michael Lanahan, Jacob Sidney, and French Stewart Daddy Drinks: Six Dads Trying to Get It RightWhile Getting It Hilariously Wrong Copyright 2017 by Henry Dittman, Padraic Duffy, Victor Isaac, Michael Lanahan, Jacob Sidney, and French Stewart. All Rights Reserved. ISBN (paperback): 9781682612958 ISBN (eBook): 9781682612965 Cover photo by Anousha Hutton No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author and publisher. Emoji art supplied by EmojiOne Published by Post Hill Press Printed in the United States of America Digital book(s) (epub and mobi) produced by Booknook.biz. F OREWORD I knew, for some time, that my son and five of his friends were writing a book about raising their children. So when they asked me to write a foreword to their enterprise, I, of course said I would be honored.

I have now read the entire book. Oh my God. They say it takes a village to raise a child. But not if it is the village idiots. This How to travesty should only be read in your rear view mirror as you race away from every suggestion or insight they propose. I shudder to do the math of how many children these five men currently are in charge of.

And they might even make more. The horror. Now, perhaps I might bear some responsibility when it comes to Padraics behavior and his ideas on how to raise youngsters. There was that time when walking from the car to the house with him in the pitch black night, I suddenly dropped his hand, screamed werewolf! and ran as fast as I could into the darkness. He just shrieked, dropped to the pavement, and laid there in a fetal position. But that was just one time.

Over the years I have received several cards and ties for Fathers Day. Im pretty sure he got over it. So now here I sit at my computer, wondering what is to be done. But then I picture, so vividly, the two kind, loving grandchildren my son and his amazing wife Emily have gifted me and my wife with. And I know the parents of his friends feel the same way about their grandkids. And it makes me think that no matter how ridiculously boneheaded a dad might be, if there is a strong thread of uncompromising love between him and his child, then the result cant be all that bad.

So knowing the love that these six fathers have for their children, I can only say, Well done, idiots. Well done. One proud Grandpa, Patrick DuffyI NTRODUCTION The six of us go back a ways. Long before any of us had childrenor even knew the amazing women who would make that happenwe were friends. Buddies who stayed out into the wee hours drinking, and making theater, and drinking while making theater. We were actors and writers in L.A., living the life.

And then suddenly, out of nowhere, there was a shit-pot of kids. With the craziness of managing our kids schedules (not to mention our own careers), we obviously werent able to hang out the way we used to. We were stuck bottle feeding our kids in the middle of the night, or shuttling them to music class in the afternoon, or wringing out dirty cloth diapers in the toilet first thing in the morning. And we loved it (except for that last part). But we couldnt help but realize: The days of drinking together were gone. Until one day when the newest dad needed some help, and we realized we didnt have to leave the house to be together.

With a stocked bar and some WiFi, we could imbibe and talk about our kids all night on instant messenger. (What else is there to talk about?) And most importantly, we could have each others backs when the going got tough. And that is how Daddy Drinks was born, and this is the instant message thread, typos and all. P.S. None of us are baby doctors. Follow our advice at your (and your childs) own risk.

This is just the shit that worked for us. Enjoy!

I T A LL B EGAN WITH A Q UESTION A BOUT S WADDLING 6:12am HENRY: Daddy to Daddy thread. Thats what this is. Each of you said I could ask you questions concerns or just call if I needed support. Seems like you guys might need that too, and youre all great dads! This is my question today. Hannah screams bloody murder every time I take off her swaddle.

I read in happiest baby on the block babies hate being on their backs, plus shes only three days old and had a very traumatic birth, womb poop and cord around neck we had to emergency c section, im just curious if you have encountered this any of you? Im sure theres nothing wrong with her, but will she ever stop screaming her head off every time I change her out of her swaddle? The GOOD news is that 99% of the time a tight swaddle really chills her out. The other good news is that she breast-feeds like a champ, so we have ways to soothe her. Just looking for some perspective! 6:54am MICHAEL: I havent had that experience, but as far as Im aware from Happiest Baby, its okay to keep her in the swaddle for long periods right now. Also remember the technique he showed you, where you can use a swaddle cloth to tie her on to you (skin-to-skin) which might swaddle her and provide another carrying option. Hopefully, shes just transitioning and the screaming will cease as she eases into the world a bit more. Also try those other four Ss from Happiest Baby to see how those help.

Another option: Finley really responded well to being in the dark bathroom with the fan running. Good luck! 6:59am HENRY: Huge help last night was Sarah sleeping in the rocker skin to skin. Ive done all swaddles and diapers since shes on bed rest but this way every hungry cry and diaper doesnt destroy sleep or half-sleep I guess. Happiest Baby works its amazing, by the way! 7:00am HENRY: These moments help!!! 7:45am MICHAEL: Also, I hear Womb Poop is playing Coachella this year. 8:01am HENRY: Theyre great. 8:18am PADRAIC: I remember every diaper change being a scream fest. 8:18am PADRAIC: I remember every diaper change being a scream fest.

We would blast a cheap noise machine (we stole it from inside of a teddy bear) that played ocean waves right by his head. The rhythmic shushing was helpful too. Also, the sound of a hair dryer will soothe them (just make sure its aimed away!) 8:41am VICTOR: First off, I love the fact that this thread started at 6:12am, while I was in the shower after having overslept. Secondly, Alex hated being naked in the beginning. He would scream bloody murder every time we changed his diaper or gave him a bath. I cant remember when it calmed down, but it did.

I think it was after he pooped in the bath. 8:48am JAKE: Henry Im so sorry for what you and Sarah went through. Thats awful. We had a planned c section, but crystal had complications after the delivery and was on the table for another 5 hours. Blue wouldnt breathe so she went in the NICU . Longest night of my life.

Anyway, happiest baby on the block is the bomb. Its the only system I put any credence in, personally. So Im sure youll be fine. Youll also probably come to appreciate just how low previous generations set the bar. Being a great father mostly requires paying attention and responding. Its difficult but its not actually complicated.

In another month or so you can start trying to take her for walks in the stroller or strapped to you. In the meantime you will become the fastest baby burrito maker in the West. I hope in a few weeks we can come visit you and bring some soup or something. Give sarah our love. 8:50am VICTOR: Oh, and thats a great picture! I want to eat her cheeks! 8:52am JAKE: