Dan Blank - Happy Feet: How to Be a Gold Star Soccer Parent--Everything the Coach, the Ref and Your Kid Want You to Know

The Anonymous Letter from a Volunteer Coach was authored by Brian Gotta, President of CoachDeck LLC.

Source: Youth Sports in America: An Overview by Seefedlt, Ewing and Walk, 1992

Source: Minnesota Amateur Sports Commission, Athletic Footwear Association, USA Today Survey, Michigan State

Source: Overview of Youth Sports Programs in the United States; Institute for the Study of Youth Sports; Michigan State University.

HOW TO BE A GOLD STAR SOCCER PARENT

(Everything the Coach, the Ref and Your Kid Want You to Know)

BY DAN BLANK

Copyright 2013

I invite you to read my blog at: soccerpoet.com and to follow me on Twitter @SoccerPoet.

If you would like to place a bulk order of this book in paperback at a discounted price, please email me at coach@soccerpoet.com.

Congratulations! Youve got yourself a soccer playing child! Maybe youve got more than one of them. Even better! You are among the millions of soccer parents who will spend countless weekends in the great outdoors under sunny skies, making friends and memories and sharing an incredible experience that your child will cherish long after his or her playing career is finished.

There will be thrilling victories and agonizing defeats and heroic performances. There will be amazing goals and acrobatic saves and edge-of-your-seat suspense. And best of all, there will form an irreplaceable camaraderie among the players and parents that share in this experience. Its going to be the journey of a lifetime!

Awesome, right!

At least that is how its supposed to work. And if you play your role properly, thats exactly how it will work. Youll be headed for a life of soccer bliss, just the way the world has intended. But stay alert! This road youll travel is filled with many deep and dangerous potholes. If you dont navigate them with vigilance, your voyage will end prematurely, as it has for so many others.

Did you know that in the United States, 75% of children that play youth sports quit by the age of 13? Do you know why? Well, Im sure you can guess, but Ill tell you anyway. The number one reason children give for quitting a sport is this: It stopped being fun.

Do you know the number one reason why sports stop being fun? Yep, you guessed it again: Adults. Parental behaviors are a major contributor to the mortality rate of youth sports participation. In the world of youth sports, well-intentioned parents have a remarkable knack for unwittingly devolving into joyless fun-suckers who drive their children away from the sports they once loved. Hard to believe, right?

Soccer drop-out rates fall right in line with national averages. 75% of our kids drop out of soccer because the fun gets sucked out of it, often by parents. That should frighten the heck out of you. Can you imagine if three out of every four students dropped out of high school? If our high school dropout rate was 75%, our country would be scrambling day and night to find a solution; it would be the preeminent issue of every presidential election campaign; it would be a national emergency the problem we couldnt go without solving. But because it is just a matter of kids playing sports, an issue that only concerns the vast majority of parents until their children finish high school, we are content to let it pass until its the next guys problem.

But remember this: sports are awesome! Soccer is awesome! Especially when you are a kid! Youth soccer is a big, big deal when you are a youth soccer player. When the bedroom lights go out, a child lays in bed replaying the game he just won or the goal he just scored or the goal hell score tomorrow. Some kids are so excited for tomorrows match that they go to bed in their uniforms. Others sleep curled up next to a soccer ball. And throughout the night they dream great, big, wonderful soccer dreams. How can a kid who loves the game this much be pried away from it? Well, there is a list of ways, and at the top of that list are Mom and Dad.

This book isnt a collection of sideline horror stories. It isnt for the knuckleheads who make national headlines every few months for inciting a riot on the sidelines. Those folks constitute a miniscule fraction of the sideline population, and no book I could ever write will help them to rehabilitate. This book is for all those soccer parents who start the soccer journey with their hearts in the right place and the very best of intentions. Im talking about you.

Somehow, despite their noble motives, emotionally stable and well-meaning parents from coast to coast end up with a child who has lost his love for the sport and decides to walk away from it. Too often the best of intentions leads to the worst possible outcome. Lets face it; no parent starts out this journey with the idea of eventually persuading his child to quit. But with a 75% drop-out rate, you cant logically assume that this is something that only happens to the other guy. And moms, just because I used the expression other guy, dont feel that you are absolved from this discussion. Youre just as guilty as the dads. Youll realize that before you finish this book. But fret not! Im going to help you. Im going to be your navigator and your early-warning radar. Im going to light your path so you dont inadvertently wind up as an unsuspecting fun-sucker.

My goal for this book is that by the end, you, the reader, will be able to avoid the potholes that can turn your soccer player into a statistic. It doesnt matter if your child is seven or seventeen. It doesnt matter if he plays rec soccer or college soccer. It doesnt matter if you are a seasoned veteran of the travel soccer grind or you are completely new to the sport, there are things in these pages that you need to know. There are things in here that will help you. I promise.

Because soccer has so many sub-segments in terms of gender, age, and competitive level (rec, school, club), its often impossible to issue a blanket statement that applies to every player at every age or competitive level. Not all of these ideas will be applicable to every single demographic, but most of them will. Ill leave it up to you to differentiate between the concepts that dont apply to your child and those that do.

This is an equal opportunity book. I dont care if you played in a World Cup or never even kicked a soccer ball; I will give you a working vocabulary about a game you might know almost nothing about, and I will disseminate the information that your coach, your referee and most importantly, your child want you to know about being a soccer parent. I will give you the Dos and Donts of being an extraordinary soccer parent; a parent who allows your soccer player to experience all of the joy that soccer can and should bring into his life. Remember, soccer, above all else, should be fun. It should be fun for your children and it should be fun for you. If you pay attention to what you are about to read, youll stand a much better chance of keeping it that way.

Are you ready to begin this journey? I hope you are! Ive recruited coaches from New Jersey to California to help me give you the best possible guidance. I hope you are ready and excited and bursting at the seams with anticipation! I hope youre thinking that you are going to be the best darn soccer parent of all time! Because if thats what youre thinking well then, youve just chosen your destination. And we never start a journey without first knowing where we want to end up. I hope you will choose a destination that is worthy of you and your child. I want soccer to be something your whole family enjoys for many years, so stay with me on this journey. By the end, you will be a Gold Star Soccer Parent empowered to help your child enjoy many years with a pair of very Happy Feet!