Daisaku Ikeda - Happy Parents, Happy Kids: Parenting Advice for the Twenty-First Century

Published by World Tribune Press

A division of the SGI-USA

606 Wilshire Blvd.

Santa Monica, CA 90401

2016 Soka Gakkai

All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America.

Cover and interior design by Gopa & Ted2, Inc.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

ISBN : 978-1-935523-74-1

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015957771

For decades, SGI President Ikeda has spoken with and offered advice to countless parents and children around the world. In Happy Parents, Happy Kids, the editors have sought to bring together a broad and accessible collection of his writings on parenting and family for the benefit of an English-speaking audience. As he writes, I have observed many families and experienced many situations, and what I offer are my own conclusions. I will be most gratified if they are of some use to you.

is a series of excerpts from the Japanese book Niju-isseiki heno haha to ko o kataru (Dialogues on Mother and Child in the Twenty-first Century), a three-volume work published from 19992000. These excerpts were first published in Living Buddhism magazine from 200305. For this book, we have updated the translations and arranged them in five chapters according to subject.

In The citations most commonly used in this book have been abbreviated as follows:

GZ, page number(s) refers to the Gosho zenshu, the Japanese-language compilation of letters, treatises, essays, and oral teachings of Nichiren Daishonin.

OTT, page number(s) refers to The Record of the Orally Transmitted Teachings, translated by Burton Watson (Tokyo: Soka Gakkai, 2004).

WND-1, page number(s) refers to The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, vol. 1 (Tokyo: Soka Gakkai, 1999).

Children are precious treasures of the future. All children have the right to become happy. No child is without a mission. Parents are exerting themselves every day to raise their children, and their work is truly praiseworthy. I offer them my utmost support. The twenty-first century must be an era in which all parents and children can walk the great path to happiness.

Children are messengers from the future. We have no choice but to entrust our world to them. I trust children. I believe in their ability to grow and develop. Every child possesses a unique and important mission. For this reason, I treat children with respect, and I give my all in doing so. If we are insincere with children or try to manipulate them, we will regret it later. So whenever I meet with children, I try to create happy memories for them.

All children are treasures, full of precious potential. Every child embodies hope. Life itself brims with hope. Should childrens hopes be stifled or broken, wouldnt that be the fault of adults? It pains my heart to see this happening in todays society. I do not want to see childrens eyes clouded with fear or tears of sadness. Society must be transformed. Children are mirrors that reflect adult society, and when adults are ailing and their vision clouded, children will also suffer. Let us wipe away the tears of sorrow from the face of each child! We must protect children and give them courage, strength, and vitality. Children are the hope of humanity, and it is parents who nurture them. How noble and great a mission and responsibility parents have!

I wish to make the twenty-first century resound with the laughter of mothers and children. I wish to build a society where children, as the hope of humanity, may grow to be healthy and upright. I wish to protect and encourage all mothers and children, and I will do everything I can for their sake. To protect mothers and children is to protect life itself; it is to nurture peace and protect the future. This is the basis of all, and to this end, I am now exerting my utmost.

Neither politics nor the economy determines the happiness of humanity or the future of societyeducation does. Education is the foundation of all. Education is a supreme, sacred enterprise, and parenting its cornerstone.

The Lotus Sutra relates the story of the dragon kings daughter, or dragon girl, who attained Buddhahood at only eight years of age. Nichiren says, As for the dragon girl, her father is a dragon, and she is his eight-year-old daughter. The two words dragon girl imply that both father and daughter attain Buddhahood at the same time ( OTT , 106). This teaching has profound meaning. Applied to parenting, it signifies that the parents efforts to nurture their childs zest for life will in turn spark something in the lives of the parents. It will serve as a positive influence for them as well, enabling both parents and children to enjoy lives of the greatest fulfillment.

The times seem to be moving in a negative direction. Me first is becoming the prevailing trend, the general mood of society. Education is the only means to change this trend. And I believe education at home is crucial. The Swiss educator Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi said that home is the place for moral education. There are many places to acquire knowledge and skills but few where one can learn how to lead a life of humanity. Home, in my opinion, should be the foremost positive influence, or good friend, for children to refine their humanity.

Never forgetting the debt of gratitude we owe to those who nurtured us, we must act for the sake of our children and future generations. This is the greatest way to repay our debt of gratitude. Those who remember the gratitude they owe others are beautiful. To know and repay ones debts of gratitude is the way of humanity. Those who do so will live rich lives. On the other hand, those who forget their debts of gratitude are arrogant and will end up leading a lonely and miserable existence.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Possessing both flaws and strengths is part of being human and makes children feel more at ease. It is said that children are more comfortable talking with parents who can admit and talk about their failures than with parents who brag. It is important to make efforts to become a wise parent. But just trying to fit the image of a good parent will make your child suffer. Be true to yourself.