Kay Willis - Are We Having Fun Yet?: The 16 Secrets of Happy Parenting

Copyright 1997 by Kay Rubacky Willis and Maryann Bucknum Brinley

All rights reserved.

Warner Books, Inc.

Hachette Book Group

237 Park Avenue

New York, NY 10017

Visit our website at www.HachetteBookGroup.com

First eBook Edition: October 2009

ISBN: 978-0-446-56851-7

WHY MOTHERS AND FATHERS
EVERYWHERE NEED THIS BOOK!

I used to schedule power lunches. Now I take power naps.

An exhausted mother of two

I tell him again and again, Your brothers arm doesnt go that way.

Mother of two rival siblings

When she calls me on the car phone and asks me how far I am from home, I know things are really bad.

Father of four

I would like to put brakes on my teenager instead of braces.

Mother of a thirteen-year-old

ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?
As Seen in Good Housekeeping

I have experienced Kays wit and wisdom firsthand on our show. At last, a parenting advisor who has truly been there and done that ten times over.

Joan Lunden, former cohost of Good Morning, America, and author of Joan Lundens Healthy Cooking and Joan Lundens Healthy Living

Her main messagewill send parents back onto the playing fields of family life with renewed vigor, confidence, and smiles on their faces.

Publishers Weekly

This mom knows about parenting. She has been there, done that.Combine Erma Bombecks humorous practicality with big business theories of time management, and youve grasped a central tenet of Kay Willis philosophy of happy parenting.

Houston Chronicle

A blend of quotes, humor, and practical tipshelps put a hectic life in perspective.

Indianapolis Star

Mothers Matter
is the direct result of the beautiful and joyful
example set by my mother,

ELLEN BURNS RUBACKY,

who SHARED with me
her positive outlook,

ENCOURAGED in me
a true sense of self-worth,

and always helped me to
ENJOY my profession.

[This simple dedication was displayed on the walls of the first Mothers Center, established by Kay Willis in Rutherford, New Jersey, in March of 1978.]

To Mom, my constant inspiration and help.

To Bub, whose perfect love made my life a joy.

To my very own board of directorsJoEllen, Kim, Patty, Maureen, Fran, Jeane, Ben, Tim, Jerry and Danwhose very being makes my heart soar.

To my original and ongoing support group of mothersTheresa, Grace, Pat, Marge, Ellen and Marilyn. And, finally, special thanks to Alexandra Urdang at Warner Books.

Kay Willis

Where would I be without the outrageously wise and wonderful support of family and friends? Thank you, thank you, to Bob, Zach and Maggie; all my supporters in the Bucknum and Brinley clans; my agent, Agnes Birnbaum; my friend Sue Gleason; the marvelous team of editors at Warner Books, led by my editor, Joann Davis; and especially my mother, Rita Leonard Bucknum, whose quiet yet powerful presence in my life showed me how to reach for parenting wisdom.

Maryann Bucknum Brinley

Let me tell you about my friend Kay Willis. Ive known her for more than a decade. If I do my job right, you will soon know her as well as I do. This is important. Why? Because she has a philosophy about parenting that could truly revolutionize the way you live your lifenot to mention how much happier you may become.

Twenty years ago, Kay had a remarkably simple and yet simply great idea: Mothers need to share their secrets in order to increase their skills, confidence and enjoyment as parents. Thats when this Rutherford, New Jersey, mother of ten founded Mothers Matter, an educational and support program that has helped thousands of mothers in hundreds of communities.

Motherhood is like a secret society, Kay often tells me. You dont really find out all about it until after youve been initiated. Sure, there are pages and pages of advice written by well-meaning experts, but so much of what we experience as parents still happens in what Kay calls a conspiracy of silence. Whats more, under the weight of all these words of wisdom, many parents are having an absolutely terrible time raising their children.

As if all the classic challenges of raising children arent enough, contemporary mothers must also grapple with trendy new pressures, as well as the old GUILT with a capital G.

The mothers who sign up for Kays groups bring their tears, their trials and their triumphs to a series of five two-hour sessions.

Youll meet some of them in the pages that follow. You are the real professionals in parenting, Kay tells them. Shes very convincing. Because such words come from Kayone of the most dynamic, funny and wise women you will ever knowthey believe her and in themselves.

Mothers Matter reaches fathers as well as mothers because one of the sessionsnumber five, in factis devoted entirely to dads. Kay also offers special programs for new mothers, single parents, full-time earning-money mothers, parents of adolescents and even grandparents.

Kay has appeared on Oprah, Good Morning America, The Today Show, The CBS Morning Show, The Home Show, CNN and The Joan Rivers Show. Reports on her work have appeared in many consumer magazines and major newspapers, including the New York Times, Washington Post, USA Today, Christian Science Monitor, Record and Chicago Tribune.

Ive been a professional editor and writer for more than twenty years. I write magazine articles, books, newsletters and pamphlets from a home office on my third floor now. Im also happily married to Bob Brinley and the mother of two adolescents, Zach and Maggie. Through the years, writing and editing for Ladies Home Journal, McCalls, Womans Day, Health and Good Housekeeping, I would turn to Kay Willis often for both professional and personal advice and counsel. When I sat in a directors chair at the Good Housekeeping Infants and Childrens Laboratory, Kay was always the person with the sanest answers.

Shes funny. Shes on your side. And she rarely ever takes No when the answer ought to be Yes. Heres a true story you will enjoy: I was a senior editor at McCalls magazine creating a monthly column called The Mothers Page. A call came in from Fisher-Price Toys. The representative wondered if I would be interested in a ten-city tour to promote a new toy for the Christmas season. Not on your life, I told her. My children were younger then, and my job was already demanding enough. I just couldnt imagine being able to drop everything and go anywhere, especially during the fall weeks leading up to the holiday season. Santa Claus could never come to town if I left.

I cant do it, but I have the perfect person for you, I told the woman hired by Fisher-Price to find a spokesperson. You really have to meet my friend Kay Willis.

Who is she? What makes you think shes right for this job? Is she an expert on children? On toys? A psychologist? A psychiatrist? A well-known author?

Well, she has ten children, I replied.

Are you kidding? she asked.

No.

Has she written anything?

No.

Is she a magazine editor?

No.

What makes her an expert?

Experience, I wanted to answer, but I didnt. I persisted and told her that Kay would be perfect. I explained how she had founded a support group for moms called Mothers Matter, but my contact still didnt want to hear another word about Kay.