Dent - Parental As Anything: A common-sense guide to raising happy, healthy kids - from toddlers to tweens

MAGGIE DENThas become one of Australias favourite parenting authors and educators, with a particular interest in the early years, adolescence and resilience. An undisputed boy champion, she is the author of seven books, including the bestselling Mothering Our Boys(2018) and From Boys to Men(2020). Well known as the Queen of Common Sense, she is also the host of ABCs Parental As Anythingpodcast.

Maggie is the mother of four grown-up sons, and an enthusiastic and grateful grandmother. She lives in the South Coast region of New South Wales with her good bloke, Steve Mountain, and their dear little dog, Mr Hugo Walter Dent.

You can listen to the Parental As Anythingpodcast for free in the ABC Listen app or find it wherever you get your podcasts.

I dedicate this book to my good bloke and husband, Steve Mountain.

Thank you for being my number-one supporter for over 26 years,

fabulous gnocchi master, thoughtful husband and

best Poppy to our gorgeous grandies.

I couldnt have done all this without you.

I wish to acknowledge and humbly pay my respects to Australias first peoples and to the longest continuing culture in the world, the traditional custodians of this amazing land.

I especially pay my humble respects to the Noongar peoples of South West Australia, the custodians of my homeland, the country of my childhood, which I carry deep within my heart every day of my life. I also acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which the podcast was produced: the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation in Sydney and the Turrbal people in Brisbane.

The ancient knowledge and wisdom that our Indigenous elders have known and shared for thousands of years still has value for our modern world. May we all find ways to walk gently and compassionately on these ancient lands, and come to a place where every child ever born is loved, respected and valued and has a strong sense of belonging.

Parenting in the 21st century is very different now from even the recent 20th century, let alone before then. There has been a massive increase in research around child development physical, cognitive, psychological and emotional. There have been incredible advances in neuroscience, neurobiology and medical science, including epidemiology, neurology, disease management and improvements in diagnostics. On top of that, through the digital world, we can access in a nanosecond phenomenal amounts of information about absolutely anything to do with raising children. But too much information too easily accessible can be unhelpful and confusing.

Interestingly, the things that children have always needed to grow healthy and to thrive have not really changed however, the world around kids has changed. For many parents there is a quagmire of confusing and often conflicting information that can diminish their innate capacity to tune in to and meet the unique needs of their child in any given moment.

I frequently remind people that there has never been a parenting guide written about their particular child. Parents, co-parents, adoptive parents, foster parents, step-parents and anyone who lives with children when capable of warm, consistent, loving care are best placed to make decisions for their child. Having access to trustworthy, sound information, which is not only evidence-based but practical and consistent, can make raising children easier.

We must never forget that child development cannot be hurried, no matter how inconvenient that may be for us adults in all our busy-ness. Each child has a built-in timetable that dictates exactly when they will crawl, sit up, walk, etc., and no two kids are the same. Given a safe environment, their development will flow naturally. They are one-off miracles and this is why parenting can never be a perfect art. At times the sleep deprivation, fatigue and frustration of parenting will bring you to your knees. Children are biologically required to learn by doing and inevitably this process will be noisy, untidy, messy and unpredictable. So having realistic expectations for our children from toddlerhood to early adolescence is essential to navigating this ancient journey. (I say early adolescence as parenting adolescents is really a whole book in itself, so this book covers toddlers through tweens, roughly up to age 12.)

These days, this isnt helped by endless beautiful images on social media, which can trigger guilt, especially in mammas. I almost choked on my coffee one day when I saw a picture on Instagram of a woman wearing stunning matching leisurewear to pick up her children from school.