Walker Lamond - Rules for My Daughter: Indispensable Advice From Someone Whos Been There

Lets get some things straight
before I get old and uncool. First published as Rules for My Newborn Daughter in the United States in 2016 by St Martins Press, an imprint of Macmillan Publishers. First published in Great Britain in 2016 by Atlantic Books, an imprint of Atlantic Books Ltd. Copyright Walker Lamond, 2016 The moral right of Walker Lamond to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988. Image copyright information . All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. Hardback ISBN: 978 1 78649 0 117
E-book ISBN: 978 1 78649 0 124 Printed in Great Britain Atlantic Books
An Imprint of Atlantic Books Ltd
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WC1N 3JZ www.atlantic-books.co.uk Contents for FRANCES Introduction B ut what if its a girl? Thats the question I was asked most frequently after I published my first book, Rules for My Son, which I described so self-assuredly as one mans instructions for raising a thoughtful, adventurous, honest, hardworking, self-reliant, well-dressed, well-read, well-mannered young gentleman. Many readers, my wife included, wanted to know whether my unsolicited advice could be applied to girls as well as boys. My answer, of course, was of course! While the book, and the blog from which it sprung, was imagined as a decidedly one-sided conversation between father and son, I was confident that just about every rule could be applied to a future daughter as well as my then-unborn son. After all, writing thank-you notes, keeping a tidy lawn, and learning how to shake a martini are universal lessons and hardly the exclusive realm of men.

But then again, there were all those rules about dating girls. And tying a necktie. And a few dozen other rules that were admittedly pretty male-centric, if not explicitly, then at least in tone. My wife thought that our future daughter deserved her own rules. Maybe even a whole book of them. I agreed.

Boys and girls are equally capable and equally thirsty for all the institutional knowledge that a parent can muster. But they are also different. Wonderfully, obviously, and sometimes hilariously different. And never was this more obvious than when shortly after I finished Rules for My Son my wife and I had our second child a girl. So I decided to write a book for her too. But I did have a nagging concern.

In this day and age, was it appropriate for a man to be doling out advice to a young woman? What did I know about the unique challenges of being a girl? And if I wanted my daughter to grow into a strong, independent, brave young woman who was unafraid to challenge traditional power structures and antiquated gender stereotypes, was handing her a book full of rules written by a man the best way to start her journey? The answer is I dont know. I am no parenting expert. Im just a dad. And I think a dad has a right and a duty to tell his daughter what he expects of her. To share with her what he knows about life and how to make the best of it. And while I might not know even a fraction of what it takes to become an independent, intelligent, courteous, courageous, honest, adventurous, self- reliant, well-read, well-dressed, well-mannered young woman, I do know someone who does.

Thankfully, I married her. WHEN IN DOUBT,
WEAR A DRESS.EAT LUNCH WITH
THE NEW GIRL.IF YOU CAN FOLLOW A RECIPE,
YOU CAN BUILD A TABLE.  CLIMB TREES.
Skin knees. A foreign accent
does not make him
more sophisticated.  Let him take your coat. Thats the moment hes
been waiting for. If you start the day
in tracksuit bottoms, you will
likely end the day in them.  ON A FIRST DATE,
ORDER THE STEAK. If you start the day
in tracksuit bottoms, you will
likely end the day in them.  ON A FIRST DATE,
ORDER THE STEAK.

Learn to sew
your own clothes.
Youll become a
better shopper.  Never trust a profile pic.
Not even your own. The right friends will
appreciate a well-timed burp.
Your grandmother will not.  If the foods not perfect,
DONT BLAME
the waiter.Not everything is a
photo opportunity.  NEVER SWITCH A SEATING CARD
AT THE DINNER TABLE. Everybody loves
a high-five.  I dont care if Granny is
on Instagram; phones
down at the table. Theres nothing cooler than a
girl who can change a tyre.  THERE IS A RIGHT WAY,
AND A VERY WRONG WAY
TO EXIT A CAR IN A DRESS. When it comes to relationships,
people change their minds.
You can too.  Writing an essay is easy.
Just think of it as a
hundred tweets. Practise safe selfies.  NEVER STAND AT
THE EDGES OF A
GROUP PHOTO.
IF THE CROP
DOESNT GET
YOU, THE WIDE
ANGLE WILL.  Use the good china.
Even for takeaways. JUST HIRE MOVERS.  Resist the humblebrag. Maybe
not so many
pillows.  YES, YOU CAN ENTER A
BEAUTY CONTEST...
AS SOON AS YOU EARN YOUR
ENGINEERING DEGREE.  Tell people exactly
what you want.