Mary C. Busha - Breaking the Power of Negative Words: How Positive Words Can Heal

Words Theyre Everywhere!

F rom the moment we arise to when we go to sleep at night, and at all hours in between, words come at us from every direction. If not someone elses words, then the words are our own, words we think or say to ourselves. All too often, the words are not positive.

Why? We live in a fallen world. Were not perfect human beings. We get weary. We get hurt. We get angry. And its often out of these conditions that words leap from our mouths to land, often unsuspectingly, on other human beings. Ive been there. Ive had extremely hurtful words flung at me. And Ive hurled a few myself. Theyre words such as:

Youll never amount to anything.

Why cant you be more like your brother?

Why do you break everything you touch?

That was good, but you could have done better.

Youll never make it without me.

I dont love you.

Youre too fat.

And the list goes on. Some words spoken to some of you are far more hurtful and abusive by comparison.

Where do these words come from? Scripture tells us that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). If thats the case, then from my observations, we have a lot of people with damaged heartsnot in the physical sense, of course, but spiritually and emotionally.

In my research for this book and from the interviews Ive held, this is exactly what Ive found. There are a great number of people walking around with some level of heart-brokenness. Hurt at one time or another by someone else, they (we) in turn hurt others, often with words. Its a vicious cycle that leaves a vast amount of collateral damage in homes, businesses, schools, and other arenas every day. And the effects carry long into our futures.

Words are powerful. In fact, the Bible tells us that our tongues have the power of life or death (Prov. 18:21). I can testify that when comforting words, encouraging words, words of life are spoken to me, I feel as though I can do and be anything and everything. When hurtful words, insulting wordsin essence, words of deathare spoken to me, I cringe both inside and out, and something inside me tends to wither and die, such as aspirations, dreams, longings, and, worse, my self-worth.

Certainly, as you reach back into your memory bank, you too can recall times when words of life were spoken to you. Do you recall how good they made you feel? On the other hand, unless youve lived in a bubble, you must admit to times when you were stung by someones words. How did you feel then? Hurt, angry, defeated, rebellious? It would be natural to experience one or all of those feelings and many other emotions as well.

But now what? What do we do once we attest to having been the recipients or dispensers of harmful, hurtful, and, in some cases, death-giving words? One thing we could do is form a woe-is-me club and walk around as victims the rest of our lives. Or we could act as though the harmful words of others dont bother us, as we file them away into a corner of our already broken hearts. Or, and this is what I suggest, we could take steps to try to understand why the words were spoken in the first place and then take additional strides toward healing and freedom.

Ive known about the impact of words for a long time, having worked in the publishing industry for most of my professional life. But only recently have I looked personally at just how much power they contain. What stands out most are words spoken to us early in our lives, which I call in chapter 1 childhood mottos .