Recorded Books Inc. - What to Do When Words Get Ugly

I n my years as a Christian, I have heard many teachings and presentations on the dangers of gossip, slander, and murmuring. Most of these teachings have focused on restraining ourselves from speaking negatively about other people. While I would like to suggest that my desire, like that of most of the people in life, was to bridle my tongue, for many years I was totally unsuccessful in this arena. Time and time again I would find myself speaking negative of others and being involved in critical conversations. This was not only confusing but also frustrating.

In addition, when I was successful at keeping my tongue in check, my ears were being assaulted. I found my thoughts being affected constantly by what others were saying, and they frequently led me down a path of negative impressions toward other people.

Some years ago, while traveling on vacation, my family stopped by a church in southeast Idaho. A visiting minister began to share about the impact of gossip and criticism. Rather than focus on the harm done by speaking negative words, however, he taught about the damage done simply by listening to them. The spirit of conviction fell upon me, and I began a long process of synthesizing the information in order to understand its full implications for my life. As truth was slowly revealed to me in this area, I realized I had been missing an important component of my struggle . Yes, it is true that many of my thoughts and ideas are a problem; the tongue must be controlled; I should not speak evil or negatively of others. However, this constant battle was only a symptom of a much greater problem.

God began to reveal ways in which I fell prey to deception in the area of conversation simply by listening. Many times, for instance, I did not speak a word, yet my very presence screamed support for the negative conversation at hand. These innocent situations seemed to be more the rule than the exception. This was very disconcerting, as I truly was asking for Christs character within my life. After many hours, days and months of my seeking God for understanding, He slowly showed specific reasons for my constant stumbling. Whether it was during my times as an educator, counselor, pastor, husband, or father, I began to see the traps I had fallen into with my speech patterns. In looking back over the years, I realize that the slowness of His presentation had nothing to do with God and everything to do with my shortsightedness and my inability to grasp the enormity of the problem.

It is the purpose of this book to define and emphasize the magnitude of injury that takes place when we are involved in negative conversations. The Bible refers to negative comments or stories regarding other people as evil reports. This may seem like a strong term, but a careful search through the Scriptures shows that our gossip and truth-stretching is much more than idle chatter. This type of speech carries with it far-reaching ramifications that affect not only the life of the speaker but the life of the listener. Relationally, this is a life-and-death issue. It is not only speaking evil that fosters sin in our lives; listening to evil reports defiles our spirits and creates a wedge between friends, family, and colleagues.

The Spirit of God desires to touch us, to show us areas where we may have been defiled by evil reports. I believe we can all break away from the enslavement of ungodly habits and not give ear to sinful speech patterns. An evildoer gives heed to false lips; a liar listens eagerly to a spiteful tongue (Proverbs 17:4). We can become free from listening to negative conversations, and our own tongues will be restrained from speaking evil of others.

This book is about healing, freedom, caring, compassion, and love. If we can gain greater control over our own tongues and conversations while limiting the critical comments that we hear in life, we will become a strong encouragement and testimony of Gods power in the life of a person.

I encourage you to open your mind, heart, and spirit to investigate the part you may play in perpetuating evil or false reports. Be prepared to be challenged, even provoked by this book. The topic is not comfortable, nor are the repercussions of listening to an evil report. Let the Holy Spirit shine light upon each dark, hidden recess of your soul. I pray that Gods powerful and gentle hands rest upon each reader to bring purification, illumination and revelation.

I wish to give special thanks and blessings to Mr. Bill Gothard for his inspiration in this area. Also, his willingness to allow me to use some of his material enabled me to build a strong foundation for this book.