All rights reserved. Except as authorized under U.S. copyright law, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
Production management by John J. McGurk
Stuff Every Lawyer Should Know: The publisher and author hereby disclaim any liability from any injury that may result from the use, proper or improper, of the information contained in this book. We do not guarantee that the information is safe, complete, or wholly accurate, nor should it be a substitute for the readers good judgment and common sense. In other words: Exercise caution when fielding unsolicited grandparenting advice. Be ber-prepared for tantrums, piggyback-induced muscle strain, and unsuccessful implementation of when I was your age anecdotes. And never underestimate the power of a well-timed cookie.
Introduction
grandfather
n: the father of ones mother or father.
a forefather; an ancestor.
We all have an idea of a grandfather: an elderly chap sitting in an easy chair dispensing pearls of wisdom, usually starting with back in my day, from behind an open newspaper. But a grandfather is more than a cartoonish image, more than the father of your parent.
When I learned that I was going to be a grandfather I thought I had another few years before I took on that particular role, and the life I had hoped for my daughter didnt include having a child at such a young age. But when the day arrived and this beautiful little life-form came squalling into the world, she stole my heart and I swore I would do everything I could to be the best PopPop possible.
In some ways, its been easy. Watching my baby granddaughter transform into a beautiful little girl has been a joyous adventure, and Im looking forward to sharing the next few decades as she grows into a wonderful young lady.
In other ways, its been harder than I thought. Managing a household full of adults, teenagers, and children is a challenge no matter how much you love them. But I have foundthanks to the perspective and patience Ive gained by this stage of lifethat Im a better PopPop than I was a father. And through experience, meeting other grandfathers, and researching this book, I found that a grandfather can be many things.
He can be a fortysomething man who wears graphic tees and plays Dungeons & Dragons on the weekend. He can be a construction worker a decade away from retirement, with calloused hands and a warm heart. He can be a second father who fills a void when required and stands back when that vacancy is filled. He can be a grandfather through marriage or adoption who loves his instant grandchildren as much as he loves kids who share his genes.
He can be a shoulder to lean on, a jester or judge, a secret-keeper or truth-teller. A grandfather can be whatever his children and his childrens children need, whenever they need it. I have been many of these things and more as a grandfather, and Ive gained my own pearls of wisdom on the way. As you embark on your own adventure with your grandchildren, I hope they work for you as well.
What Kind of Grandfather Are You?
All kinds of people can become grandfathers at various stages in life, so its no surprise that there are many different styles of grandfathering. And like most mysterious endeavors in life (parenting, interpretive dance, vlogging about snack foods), you dont know exactly how youll tackle it until youre deep into the practiceuntil now! The following quiz uses dozens of minutes of research to help determine your grandpa-sona.
Which of these Fathers Day gifts would you like most?
a. A box set of Harry Potter movies
b. A tie and cuff links
c. A subscription to a genealogy website
d. A shiny new toolbox
e. A shot glass that reads PopPop Fuel
Its your eight-year-old grandchilds birthday. What do you pick up as a present?
a. Tickets to Disney on Ice
b. A sturdy new pair of shoes
c. A day at a museum
d. The kids first tape measure
e. A book called 1001 Experiments to Gross Out Your Parents
What are you listening to right now?
a. Rock and/or roll
b. Something classic and orchestral, like a nice Bach cantata
c. NPR or light jazz
d. Nothing. Its hard to hear over this table saw!
e. A humor podcastand it skews a little blue, if Im being honest
Whats your favorite 80s movie?
a. The Princess Bride
b. Wall Street
c. Stand by Me
d. Platoon
e. Weekend at Bernies
Whats your favorite weekend chore?
a. Rearranging my CD collection
b. Balancing the checkbook
c. Organizing my bookshelves
d. Putting a dent in the olhoney do list
e. Chores? Thats what I had kids for!
If you answered mostly Asyoure the Cool Grandfather: This is the easygoing, hip-and-with-it grandfather who gets his grandkids. Need someone to chaperone the class trip, go fishing, or attend an invitation-only princess tea party? Hes your guy. Willing to drop all at the childs beck and call, this cool cat will enhance the next generations musical taste and introduce the youngster to the best in graphic tees, old-school television, and movies from the 70s, 80s, and 90s.
If you answered mostly Bsyoure the Chief Executive Grandfather: This guy believes in boundaries. And order. And turning off lights when you leave the room and loading the dishwasher the right way and pretty much anything that keeps the forces of chaos from overrunning the world. The CEG understands that everything has a place and that those who run a tight ship sail for happier shores. He may seem stern, but this grandfather provides vital lessons about discipline and routine.
If you answered mostly Csyoure the Teacher Grandfather: Speaking of lessons, this grandfather finds them everywhere. Part family historian, part storyteller, this guy is a walking, talking Wikipedia. Youll frequently find him with his nose buried in a book or a newspaper (or even a tablet). Hes your go-to guy whether youre writing a book report, in need of relationship advice, or dying to know why cousin Myrtle always wears that weird hat.
If you answered mostly Dsyoure the Handyman Grandfather: Youll often find this guy puttering around his basement workshop, garden shed, or kitchen table covered in clutter. He can fix anything from a busted radio to an unwound cassette tape (hey, you might listen to it again one day!). Often the most patient of the grandfatherly types, he has a tool for everything, a belief that the best lessons are learned over a workbench, and a never-ending supply of duct tape.
If you answered mostly Esyoure the Funnyman Grandfather: Teller of jokes, both dadly and off-color, this guy puts the fun in funny (and sometimes dysfunction). Never one to take life too seriously, this grandfather will don silly hats, engage in rip-roaring tickle fights, and doggedly ask you to pull his finger. Always there to remind you that age is a state of mind and its never too late to have a second childhood, the Funnyman Grandfather is the guy you want to visit when youre having a crappy day and need the ol frown turned upside down.