Cynthia Ulrich Tobias - Bringing Out the Best in Your Child: 80 Ways to Focus on Every Kids Strengths

BRINGING OUT
THE BEST IN YOUR CHILD

This book provides us with practical suggestions for recognizing each childs uniqueness and worth. As a parent this book gives me great hope. As my moms kid, it helps me understand her discussions with my confused elementary school teachers because I never fit into the traditional classroom, and as a songwriter, it gives me great ideas for songs! This is a refreshing guide to assist each one of us as we bring out the best in our children.

MARY RICE HOPKINS

INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN FAMILY AND CHILDRENS
RECORDING ARTIST AND MOTHER OF TWO

Cynthia Tobias and Carol Funk are two of the best friends any parent could have. They continue to winsomely remind us that each of our children has great worth and potential. In this book, the authors give us the tools to discover the real gold in these treasures we call our children.

JANET PARSHALL

NATIONALLY SYNDICATED RADIO TALK SHOW HOST

1997 Cynthia Ulrich Tobias and Carol Funk

Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com

Revell edition published 2014

ISBN 978-1-4412-2597-9

Previously published by Regal Books

Originally published by Servant Publications in 1997.

Ebook edition originally created 2013

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Cover design by Left Coast Design, Inc., Portland, Oregon

Dedication

TO MY ENTIRE FAMILY, who patiently endured the stress
of deadlines, and to my good friend and outstanding editor,
Gwen Ellis, who understands me and loves me anyway.
Cindy Tobias

TO MY HUSBAND, JEFF, for his unfailing love and devotion; and to
our two sons, Ryan and Paul, whose strengths I appreciate and try to
encourage daily; and to my parents, brother, and twin sister for
encouraging me from the very beginning.
Carol Funk

Contents

Foreword

I can still recall how I anticipated my first encounter with Cindy Tobias. I was eager to find out more about her; this young mom with an interesting blend of family, vocational, and educational background. I wondered:What makes this uniquely gifted personwho was once a policewoman, and is now the mother of twins, and a learning styles advocatetick?

I was not disappointed by that first meeting! Cindy Tobias is one of the most delightful, gifted, and entertaining people I have ever met. God has imbued her with wit, wisdom, and a style that immediately connects her with audiences. You can almost see her disarmingly sweet smile as you read her books.

As a writer, Cindy knows how to tickle your funny bone and pierce your heartall on the same page. My wife, Barbara, and I have benefited greatly from her previous books. Now Cindy has teamed up with her colleague, Carol Funk, to write Bringing Out the Best in Your Child. As youll find out in this book, dont mess with them. They are real. They tell it straight.

Its a good thing this book does not sell by the pound because there is a ton of practical advice on raising children packed between these two covers. This is a book about children and the reality of parenting them daily. Its so real, that on more than one occasion, I wondered if the authors had been spying on our family.

I really like this book! Cindys and Carols words lift a beleaguered parents head and bring fresh perspective about their children. The authors remind us of our childrens strengths and potential. This book practically equips parents to live out the words of Robert Lewis Stevenson, who said, Make the most of the best and the least of the worst.

In Bringing Out the Best in Your Child, the authors hammer home a neglected, but much needed, valueaccountability. I really like the way they cleverly equip the reader to apply workable solutions every day. In fact, Im so convinced of the value of this book, that Im tempted (well, almost tempted) to say that if you, as a parent, dont benefit from its pages, Ill buy it back from you!

I sure hope you will enjoy this book and its authors as much as Barbara and I have.

Dennis Rainey
Executive Director of Family Life
(A division of Campus Crusade for Christ)

A Word from Cynthia Tobias

Have you ever worried that your children may argue too much or play too rough or rebel against authority? Have you been told that your kids are too restless, too talkative, too inattentive?

Every parent wants the best for each of their children. But how do you know what the best is? Why is each child so different? In my first book, The Way They Learn, I introduced the term learning styles: natural, inborn strengths and characteristics in each individual. Our learning style affects how we perceive, understand, and organize information. It helps us decide what makes sense and whats important. Although the research has been around for decades, the practical application of the concept has recently begun to be widely known and accepted, especially among educators and parents. As parents begin to do their homework, we begin to realize just how unique and wonderful each of our children really is!

My husband, John, and I have identical twin boys. Although we realized each boy was different even before they were born, they continue to teach us lessons every day about recognizing and valuing their individuality. I remember one incident in particular, the year before Robert and Michael started kindergarten.

John had picked the boys up at preschool earlier that day. Later in the evening, after we had tucked both boys in, he casually mentioned that the teacher had informed him we needed to counsel both Robert and Michael about standing for the Pledge of Allegiance. She said the boys refused to stand today, and the more she insisted the more they resisted.

I was surprised. Both boys love reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, and neither boy had ever given their teachers any real trouble as far as I knew. I decided I would take advantage of our early morning snuggling time to discuss the issue.

Mike came in first, about 6:00 A.M. As he burrowed his way under the warm covers, I brought the subject to his attention, all the time remembering the analytic bent of his mind. Mike, did you have a problem in school yesterday? He shrugged. Mike, do you know why its important to stand when we say the Pledge of Allegiance? He shook his head. No, why? I quickly reviewed why we salute the flag and what it stands for, and he nodded his head in understanding. Mike, do you know why its so important that we do what our teachers tell us to do? He shrugged again. No, why? I briefly outlined the importance of respecting authority and your elders, and then said, Mike, its really important that you stand for the Pledge of Allegiance, OK? He nodded and replied, OK. End of discussion.

Robertmy random, big-picture, relational kidbounced into bed an hour later, snuggling close to me. I was ready to launch into my Pledge of Allegiance lesson. Robert, I began, did you have a problem in school yesterday? He shook his head. I dont want to talk about it, Mommy. I drew him closer. Robert, do you know why we stand when... Mommy, I didnt want to stand. I decided to take another approach. Robert, do you know why its important to do what our teachers... His next words came tumbling out. Mommy, my teachers dont know me; they dont