Publishers Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information about the subject matters covered. It is sold with the understanding that neither the authors nor publisher are rendering mental health, legal, medical or other professional services or advice, either directly or indirectly. If expert assistance, counseling, or legal services are needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought. Neither the authors nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising as a consequence of your use or application of any information or suggestions in this book.
Copyright 2015 by Lynne Kenney and Wendy Young
Unhooked Books, LLC
7701 E. Indian School Rd., Ste. F
Scottsdale, AZ 85251
unhookedbooks.com
ISBN: 978-1-936268-82-5
eISBN: 978-1-936268-83-2
Library of Congress Control Number: 2015937570
All Rights Reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without the express written permission of the publisher. Failure to comply with these terms may expose you to legal action and damages for copyright infringement.
Cover design by Gordan Blazevik
Interior design by Kristen Onesti & Elle Phillips
Printed in the United States of America
PRAISE FOR BLOOM: 50 THINGS TO SAY, THINK AND DO WITH ANGRY, ANXIOUS AND OVER-THE-TOP KIDS
"When we change our own thinking, words and behavior, our children will do the same. This inspiring and must-read book demonstrates how. It helps make your parenting experience less stressful and develop a closer relationship with your child.
Jacek Debiec, MD, PhD, Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist, Neuroscientist, Assistant Professor at the University of Michigan, author of The Emotional Brain Revisited.
"As parents, we set the sensory, emotional and behavioral tone in our families. But when things get heated, sometimes were not sure how to respond. With Bloom, we learn about the neurobiological underpinnings of our childrens behavior so that we can stop reacting and instead respond with compassion."
Melissa Taylor is a freelance writer, an award-winning educational blogger at Imagination Soup, an award-winning teacher with a MA in Education, and a mom of two children, ages 10 and 13.
"Practical, helpful, gentle, realistic, effective all of these describe this truly excellent book for parents and educators. Using these strategies will absolutely change your family for the better!"
James T. Webb, PhD, author of A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children.
"Bloom is the practical social-emotional resource school psychologists have been waiting for. With printable mantras we can share with parents and teachers, I see all of our classrooms blooming!"
Rebecca Comizio, MA-Ed, MA, NCSP Nationally Certified School Psychologist and former English teacher.
In heated situations, we need techniques to soothe our anxious child readily available so that we can stop yelling and start collaborating. By modeling behaviors we wish to see in our children, they will begin to flourish in a calmer and more compassionate environment. Bloom is the perfect option for time-starved parents who need answers now; a reference book you will refer to time and again.
Lisa Conrad, BA, Sociology, Providing support for parents of gifted children giftedparentingsupport.blogspot.com
"Bloom is a relationship-changer!"
Michele Borba, EdD, author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions
"As a parent of three children, all with different temperaments, reading Bloom, I see mantras that suit each of our childrens distinct personalities. Choose your favorite mantra, hang it on your fridge or in your car, use it for a week and watch how your relationships with your children grow."
Janet M. Patterson, LCSW, MFT, and mom of triplets.
"Gentle, practical, and optimistic. Bloom offers parents do-able ways to teach children essential life skills."
Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, professor of The Great Courses video series, Raising Emotionally and Socially Healthy Kids.
"In Bloom, Lynne Kenney and Wendy Young have integrated neuroscience with psychology, blending the heart and science of best parenting practices! Their constructive mantras are a lifesaver for the overwhelmed parent just trying his or her best. A transformative resource unlike any other!"
Beth Onufrak, PhD, Clinical Child Psychologist & Voice America Host of Child Psych Central: Discover the KidBrain; DrBethKids.com
For 20 years we teachers have been stuck with time-out and exclusion as the most common forms of behavior management. With Bloom we finally have a new way. One that looks at the whole child and helps children behave for a lifetime not just for a moment.
Sue Milano, MS, Educational Resource Specialist and Parenting Consultant
BLOOM is a unique and beautiful guide that provides valuable insights that the hearts and brains of caring parents desire.
Deborah McNelis, M.Ed. Founder, Brain Insights, and author of The Brain Development Series Brain Insights ~ Basics to Brilliance!
As parents, we set the social-emotional and behavioral tone in our families. But when our kids are intense or angry, we often respond in-kind. When we better understand the neurobiological reasons children behave as they do, we can stop yelling and start collaborating.
Dr. Dina Kulik, Pediatrician and Emergency Medicine Specialist, Kids Health Expert - DrDina.ca, Toronto, Canada; @DrDinaKulik
"Bloom tackles challenging issues facing families today in an understandable and practical way. The HeartSmart conversations and activities are wonderful ways to build positive connections in your family through play and communication. The BrainSmart Mantras help adults stay positive and refocus on what matters. What a great resource!"
Janine Halloran, Founder of Encourage Play, encourageplay.com
"As a pediatrician, I encounter behavioral challenges every day. Bloom provides today's parents wise lessons on how to understand their children's behavior and provides options on how to respond thoughtfully, sensitively and effectively. Bloom is practical, relevant and well-referenced. I strongly recommend it."
Ron Fischler, MD, Pediatrician, Scottsdale, Arizona
CONTENTS
A NOTE FROM WENDY AND LYNNE
We are so grateful you are here with us today. Bloom has been a long journey for us and we are pleased to share where we have arrived after years of contemplation.
We didnt start out parenting our own children the Bloom way. Nor did we know enough to share with our clients the Bloom perspective, until about fifteen years ago. We bought into the popular consequence-based parenting philosophies until we saw that they were not working, particularly with our more anxious, angry and intense children. In many ways, it was our own children and the children with whom we worked that brought us to this more mindful place.
Therefore, with the deepest gratitude, we thank our husbands, children and families for helping us to find more peaceful loving hearts as parents and spouses. We also thank the thousands of families with whom we have worked who educated us, informed us and trusted us.