Becca Maberly - Nobody Tells You: Over 100 Honest Stories About Pregnancy, Birth and Parenthood

To my husband Tom without you, I would
never have written this book.

To my sons, Wilfred and Gus without you, I could have written this book much more quickly.

I love you dudes.

Becca is the eldest daughter of obstetrician and gynaecologist Roger Marwood, and has become a pregnancy and postnatal expert almost by osmosis. She is the founder of A Mother Place, which offers online antenatal classes and support for the postnatal period. She is also the mastermind behind The Doctor and Daughter Antenatal Classes, which have been running in London since 2014.

When pregnant with her first son she was shocked by the lack of honest and reliable information available. She undertook to learn as much as someone can about pregnancy and birth without actually going to medical school and then bullied her father into starting the website and the classes with her as she was convinced that they could do better than the traditional offerings.

Having an obstetrician father at the end of the phone means that she has access to the very best information 24-7. This is a huge privilege which she has always wanted to share with as many people as possible just ask her friends, many of whom have had Roger on speed dial throughout their reproductive years!

Becca lives in South West London with her husband and her two boys, and loves spending time with them and swimming... but not at the same time!

amotherplace a mother place amotherplace.com

Mr Roger Marwood MB BS, MSc, FRCOG is a recently retired consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist who has more than 40 years experience of working in a busy NHS hospital and has personally delivered more than 5,000 babies. He has also supervised approximately another 20,000 births.

Although a lifetime supporter of natural childbirth, Roger believes that with proper and honest antenatal education, appropriate interventions in the delivery room can be part of a fulfilling and amazing experience.

As a gynaecologist, he is aware of the unique role played by the pelvic floor, and the importance of reducing trauma and preserving function. He has also been a longstanding pioneer of the gentle caesarean section.

He is a past president of the Obstetric and Gynaecology Section of the Royal Society of Medicine.

For the last 20 years he has been a senior lecturer at Imperial College of Medicine, where he has been an acclaimed and popular teacher and tutor.

He has worked extensively for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, and is currently one of their media spokespersons.

Roger is a father of three and dabda (grandfather) to five. He enjoys sailing, sculpting and swimming.

Roger Marwood & Becca Maberly

My pregnancies were pretty textbook, apart from some bleeding (terrifying) and my births were better than I could have imagined (quick and in a birthing pool), but before you write me off as smug, what came next was a huge shock to me. I found the postnatal period so difficult. The physical side of becoming a mother had not fazed me at all, but the emotional side completely overwhelmed me. I struggled to adapt to my new role in life and to accept my new normal and was ashamed to admit to anyone that I was not particularly enamoured with the whole motherhood thing! Breastfeeding was an unexpected struggle and sleep did not come to us like the books said it would.

My expectations were so out of line with the reality and this made me mad! There seemed to have been so many details shrouded in secrecy insider information, to which you were only allowed access after having your baby. I was angry with my friends, my own mother, the books and the classes for failing to tell me what it was really like and not giving me the information I needed to prepare properly for the most momentous time of my life.

My frustration at the lack of honest and reliable information available, has, since then, driven my passion to educate the new mums and dads coming behind us. I want everyone to know what it is really like to be a new mum or dad... but not just based on my experience, as I am only one of the thousands of women who give birth every day.

Some of you will sail through parts of pregnancy, birth and parenthood, some of you will struggle, but most of you will have a mixture of remarkable experiences and challenging phases, with some shit-shows thrown in for good measure. There will be times where you feel like youre nailing it and other times where you feel like you cant go on, but you can. And you will. We hope this book helps.

Becca x

Getting pregnant is not always as straightforward as we might expect. For some women and their partners this can come as a real shock. But everyones experience is different, which is why it can help to hear about others in the same situation as you.

This chapter offers support for those who are just starting out on the path to parenthood and highlights some of the stories that Nobody Tells You...

Izzy Ansell @thisisizzyansell

Im embarrassed to say those school biology lessons clearly hadnt registered for me! I had come off the pill before we got married to give my body a break rather than to get pregnant... I just assumed it took ages and we would try (awful expression!) at some point that year when we were ready.

I had absolutely no idea what ovulation was or when it was and I barely knew what was going on with my own cycle having been on the pill for years.

Ill never forget being at work one day and suddenly realising I had sore boobs but hadnt had a period for ages... oh... I think I could be pregnant... duh! It happened straight away.

It was quite a shock and I remember being really worried about how work would react. I was very nervous about becoming a mum but it all worked out beautifully in the end.

Looking back it was such a lovely and exciting way to get pregnant: stress free, lots of fun, no peeing on sticks or counting days... Baby no. 2 was not so easy, but thats another story!

Absolutely no one will be able to tell you exactly when you will get pregnant. There are so many factors at play, including your age, your health, the quality and quantity of your eggs and your partners sperm.

Although we have all heard stories of couples for whom trying to conceive is a difficult and lengthy process, you should not be too surprised if it happens quickly for you: 30% of couples trying to conceive will get pregnant in the first month. This can feel like a bit of a shock, especially if you werent sure you were ready and if you and your partner were looking forward to the trying part!