Shea Rouda - Teens Happen: A Parents Guide to Deciphering the Most Secretive of Creatures (Written by a Teen)

Published by Live Oak Book Company
Austin, TX
www.liveoakbookcompany.com

Copyright 2011 Shea Rouda

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the copyright holder.

Distributed by Live Oak Book Company

For ordering information or special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Live Oak Book Company at PO Box 91869, Austin, TX 78709, 512.891.6100.

Design and composition by Greenleaf Book Group LLC
Cover design by Greenleaf Book Group LLC

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-936909-07-0

Ebook Edition

Thanks to family, friends, and all those
who read more than the first page.

W hat you are about to read is history in the making. I am attempting to give you insight on a topic so confusing and so incredible some parents cant even handle it. Im talking about teenagers. (Imagine sudden and dramatic music in your head, and the previous sentence becomes even scarier!) But why should you trust me and take my advice? After all, I could be someone who knows nothing of this topic; I might even hate kids; or I might just be a volunteer day care worker. But the truth is I love kids. Full disclosure: I am one. Thats right, what you just read is no joke. I am a teenager writing a book about teenagers. Ironic, huh?

Heres a little background information so you and I can get to know each other a little better. In the sweltering summer of 1994 a beautiful baby boy was born; his name was Shea Rouda. (What can I say? Im a modest man.) I spent my first fourteen years growing up in a suburban house in Columbus, Ohio, with my parents, two brothers, and one sister. I spent days outside with friends and nights indoors with family. My summers were spent at a camp in Maine, and I spent the rest of the year in school.

Then, in late 2009, I discovered we were moving to Los Angeles, California. Two weeks after my parents told me, we were gone. I was torn. I didnt speak, didnt look, didnt cry, and didnt want anything but to move back. The only thing I did was eat and sleep (really the only things a teenager needs). I had gone from king of the school, big ol scary eighth grader, to that new puny freshman kid from Ohio. Not a good transition.

At the beginning of football season I made my first friend, who nicknamed me Corn. It caught on. The whole school referred to me as a vegetable, which obviously did not help my self-esteem or my mood. But eventually I made friends again and came to love the new school and the experience I was having. Life was back to being awesome. That brings us up to date. Almost. When I wrote this book, I was 15 years old, had blond hair and blue eyes and I was almost five-foot-eight. Keep in mind that the views Ive captured here reflect my younger selfand some of todays wisdom. Today I am 17 years old; I have the same blond hair and blue eyes; and Im six-foot-three. But enough about me, lets begin the discovery.

This book has information on everything a parent should know about teenagers. Hopefully it will answer any questions you have about them, whether it involves friends, family, school, drugs, sex, parties, bullies, or any other problems. Without further ado, I introduce chapter 1.

Family

Y ou know what they sayfamily firstso family is the first chapter. This will be the toughest area for me to address because I do not know about your family and what your life is like. What I can hopefully do, though, is speak for your teen. By doing so, I will tell you the most important thing all of us teenagers want: respect.

Just like Aretha Franklin said, weve got to have a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Teenagers want respect and want to be treated like adults, yet still be loved like a child. Its a tough time for parents and kids, but it is the most essential time. I know you might be wondering what happened to your sweet little child and why your little darling suddenly has acne everywhere and is moody. Simply put, its hormones, and what parents need to learn most is how to ignore it, and, if possible, avoid talking about it unless the child brings it up. This is a very sore topic for most kids and will create an awkward moment. Any negative comment you make about your teens mood, acne, or behavior will just make it worse. Definitely avoid saying, Hey, youre starting to get acne! Thats a common mistake; dont let it happen to you! But all of that information plus more will be covered later. For now, lets get back to respect.

Giving your kids respect will make them feel more loved and mature, something all teenagers want, not to mention that respect strengthens the bond between you and your kid for the rest of your lives. Think of adolescence as a test for both of you. Although some will fail, if you make the right choices and handle situations right, the reward for passing will far outweigh the problems you previously encountered.

The second point about family is knowledge and experience. Every child and parent are entwined by a bond, whether it is weak or strong. But the key to a successful relationship and bond is the times you spend together and the ways you connect. The more you know about each other, the better. However, dont mistake this as a license to invade your teenagers privacy, which might be the single worst thing you could do. Believe me, it will cause more problems. If you really want to secretly know about your children and their friends, I suggest a carpool. That is a great time to tune in to the details they exchange. When I say get to know each other, I mean play basketball together or go shopping (advice from my sister), or help your son or daughter with homework or be there to give advice. You need to find a common interest and exploit it. What better way to do this than a family dinner? Whether they are at home or in a restaurant, family dinners are the best times to share information about your day and the problems that came up. Try to end the dinner on a good note, though, because it sets the mood for the rest of the night. I suggest doing this every night around a dinner table, not a TV. But occasionally ordering pizza on a Friday night and getting the gang together for a movie, especially if its a comedy, never hurts anything.

Now lets look at some tips from an outside source: the one and only Kaira Rouda, a.k.a. my mom!

Question: What is the best thing a family can do to strengthen bonds and connections?

Answer: To create a strong family, you must make traditions and establish a culture. The best way to do this is on vacations, holidays, and special occasions, but day-to-day connections are the most important. This means little things, like sticking up for one another, saying please and thank you, laughing together, or simply chewing with your mouth closed (thats my familys pet peeve; its our own little cultural rule). These everyday habits will create your familys traditions and keep your home life fun and safe.

In conclusion, family basics are the foundation for strengthening your connection with your teen.