Molly Wingate - Slow Parenting Teens

Based on a cutting edge approach from teentherapist, Marti Woodward, and teacher, Molly Wingate, Slow Parenting Teens shifts the focus of parenting fromteenagers behavior to the relationship between parents and teens.Using commonsense psychology, the authors provide real-lifeexamples of fast and slow parenting.

~~~~

As a therapist, I am thrilled to find a parentingbook that focuses on how parents make decisions instead of onteenagers behavior. Slow Parenting Teens has a formula for creating long-lasting, positive change in therelationship between parents and their teenagers.

Fred Dearborn, MA

Licensed Professional Counselor

This cutting-edge approach has become central for meas the father of a new teen. With their spot-on knowledge andstep-wise advice, Molly and Marti make me a better parent everytime I practice slow parenting. Their five simple attitudes help memaintain the relationship I want with my son, and I share the ideasin Slow Parenting Teens with other fathersand mothers at every opportunity. Im grateful for this book dailyas I hang out with my son. Rock on!

Doug Gertner, Ph.D.

The Grateful Dad

www.thegratefuldad.org

Host of The Grateful Dad Radio Hour on

www.castlerockradio.com

Simple, yet conceptual and practical, Slow Parenting Teens is a book designed to driveaction. In that sense, its a must-read for all parents andcaregivers. This distillation of practical ideas, insights, andactivities is designed to grow great teenagers and help parentsnurture enjoyable relationships with their children.

Amy Kelly, CEO,

Parent eSource.com & Socially Active.com

Slow Parenting Teens

Molly Wingate, M.A. and Marti Woodward, M.S.

Slow Parenting Teens

Published by NorLightsPress at Smashwords

Copyright (C) 2012

by Molly Wingate, M.A. and Marti Woodward, M.S

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-935254-73-7

~~~~

Smashwords Edition, LicenseNotes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoymentonly. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people.If you would like to share this book with another person, pleasepurchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. Ifyoure reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was notpurchased for your use only, then you should return toSmashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respectingthe hard work of this author.

A NorLightsPress eBook

~~~~

Table of Contents

Let Us Introduce You to Slow Parenting Teens

Are You a Fast or Slow Parent?

What Are You Afraid Of?

Attitude One Steward Your Teen

Attitude Two Respect Their Personalities

Attitude Three Catch Them Doing It Right

Attitude Four Listening is Effective

Attitude Five Parent Every Day

Limits and Punishments

Slowing Down

Slow Parenting in a Variety of FamilyConfigurations

Slow Parenting More Than One Teen

Slow Parenting Teens Who Have BigProblems

Resources for Slow Parents

Acknowledgments

(Bottom to top; left to right)

Hannah Arneson, Maggie Arneson,

Marti Woodward, Gavin Murphy,

Molly Wingate, Alex Arneson, Aidan Murphy

We would like to offer our deepest appreciation toour teenagers, in order of appearance: Gavin Murphy, Alex Arneson,Maggie Arneson, Aidan Murphy, and Hannah Arneson. They haveinspired us, laughed with us, encouraged us, corrected us, and beencompletely supportive as we wrote this book. We would also like tothank Brian Murphy, Mollys ever-patient husband, for his goodparenting, his questions, and his fine humor. Ophelia Smith, FredDearborn, Vaughan McTernan, Jean Hannah, David Moore, Karen Rowan,Jeff Pike, and many others have cheered us on, shared theirperspectives, tried out our ideas, and offered lots of love throughthe writing process. We also want to thank all the parents who tookinterest in Slow Parenting Teens, attended workshops, and read ourblogs, newsletters, and Facebook page. Our work is enriched bytheir comments and challenges. Many of the examples in this bookcame from their real life experiences.

We feel heartfelt gratitude for Vern Turner who readevery word of every draft. His reactions and edits grounded ourideas and presentation. We thank our agent, Krista Goering, forbelieving in Slow Parenting Teens andfinding an outlet for it. And thanks also to Sammie and DeeJustesen and Nadene Carter of Norlights Press for pushing us tomake this the best possible book.

Introduction

Molly and Marti are bright lights with wonderfulinformation and support for parents to grow their relationship withtheir teens! Thanks.

John M., Denver

We were friends before either of us had children. Weboth had childhoods we wanted to improve upon for our own kids, andas it turns out, we had similar ideas about how to raise children.The most radical idea we ever had was to parent for a relationshipwith each child rather than parenting to manage each childsbehavior. We see parenting as a way to build the relationships withour adolescents, not as a way to control them or try to mold themas people.

Who are we? We are Molly Wingate and Marti Woodward,the architects of Slow Parenting Teens . Andwe want to share with you what compelled us to write this book.

You see, we both cringe when we hear jokes aboutteenagers and how parents want to bury them when theyre 12 anddig them up when theyre 22. It confuses us when other parentsroll their eyes and congratulate us for surviving a house full ofteenagers. We completely disagree with stereotyping adolescents asmoody, self-centered, and a problem simply because of theirdevelopmental stage. And we absolutely do not subscribe toadolescence as something to simply get through until the teenbecomes an adult. Mostly we are selfish and have no intention ofwaiting to have a relationship with our kids or putting thoserelationships on hold for years.

We both have close, open, and fun relationships withall of our kids. This isnt by accident; its by design. Between uswe cover a lot of parenting territory. Marti is the single mom ofthree adolescent girls, while Molly is married with an intactnuclear family and two boys. In fact, we were pregnant togetherwith our eldest children over twenty years ago, and they have beenclose friends since kindergarten. Today, our relationships with ourkids attract attention not only from other adults, but also fromother teens. It seems both teenagers and their parents want to knowthe secret to actually enjoying each other and wanting to spendtime together.

We believe the secret is Slow Parenting Teens.

We actually sat down to explore the idea of writingthis book at the request of other parents. What are you doing tohelp your kids open up to you? is a common question, as is I wishmy kid shared with me the way yours does. What am I doing wrong?Please share what youre doing.

Many parents whove attended our workshops reportimmediate positive changes in relationships with their teenagers.Yet, for both of us, the greatest encouragement to write this bookcame directly from teenagersand not just our own. When ourchildren shared with their friends what we were up to, the otherteenagers replied, When will the book be out so I can give it tomy parents?