Robert Mankoff - The New Yorker Book of Teacher Cartoons

Contents

Copyright 2006 by The New Yorker Magazine, Inc.

Copyright 2012 by Cond Nast. All rights reserved.

Introduction 2012 by Lee Lorenz.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the Web at www.copyright.com . Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions .

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.

Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information about Wiley products, visit our web site at www.wiley.com .

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

ISBN 978-1-118-34203-9 (cloth); ISBN 978-1-118-36232-7 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-36233-4 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-36235-8 (ebk)

INTRODUCTION

BY LEE LORENZ

The lengthening shadows of early autumn evoke a profound sense of unease. Dropping temperatures? Frozen pipes? The first snowfall? The achin back?

No. Something deeper. Something primal!

THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

It all comes back in a rush: The smell of chalk, the soggy peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches, the class brain, the schoolyard bully, staying after, homework.

THE REPORT CARD

We all share the recurring nightmares: The class we forgot to attend. The homework we ________. The locker combination we just plain forgot.

On the following pages, Americas finest cartoonists revisit these intimate years, if not in tranquility at least without bitterness.

Barbara Smaller: One tot to another: Its all learning-is-fun and invented spelling, thenbam!second grade.

Liza Donnelly: What I Did on My Summer Vacation: The Treatment.

Emily Flake: It wasnt our first choice of schools, but we had a Groupon for it, so what the hell.

And the very hip William Haefeli: Will Kristen, Kirsten, and Kiersten please choose new names?

Read and enjoy.

There will be no written test afterward.

Look, I know this stuff. But all these questions are having a chilling effect.

I need you to line up by attention span.

Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity.

Therenow Ive taught you everything I know about splitting rocks.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation: The Treatment.

Who knows the words to the theme song of the United States?

Im holding George back this year because hes failed to forge a personal style.

Rosalieyour poor performance this year has reduced your parents investment in you by almost seventy per cent.

Some hacker from an obscure university in China ate my homework.

Its a great school, but it wasnt my first choice.

Its all learning-is-fun and invented spelling, thenbam!second grade.

We believe in the concept of public education.

My parents didnt do my homework for me, but I did bring them in as consultants.

I swore I wouldnt make the same mistakes with my children as my parents did with me.