Christine Peymani - Kitai's Journal

Today is the biggest day of my life so far: the day I become a Ranger, one of the defenders of our planet, Nova Prime. At least, it better be. Sure, thirteen is young to make Ranger, but Im not just some kid. Im Kitai Raige, son of Cypher Raige, Commander General of Nova Prime and the greatest hero our planet has ever known. Seriouslyhes the first person to ever single-handedly kill an Ursa, the most perfect hunters of humans ever created. Makes sense, since they were bioengineered specifically to kill us. This alien race, the Skrel, hates us so much that they have been fine-tuning these monsters we call Ursa for centuries just to try to wipe us out. No one knows whyweve never gotten any communications from the Skrel, just the arrival of these killer beasts. The crazy thing is, the only way these Ursa can see us is by sensing our fear, since they have no eyes, and since fear is the one trait all humans share. Or, almost all. Not my dad. He literally has no fear. Really. That means hes invisible to the Ursa, which means they cant kill him. What he does, its called ghosting, and so far there are only seven people in the world who can do it. Theyre the best protection our planet has, and my dad is the best of all of them.

It probably sounds awesome, having a dad like mine. Except the thing is, hes not around much, not since I was little anyway. I mean, I get ithes been Commander General since before I was born, which means hes basically in charge of our entire planet. Technically, we have three branches of government, and the Savant and the Primus help run our colony too. But when were under constant attack like we have been since the Skrel started sending the Ursa to kill us, the science and religion branches kind of have to take a backseat to the military. My mom is a scientist, so she wouldnt exactly agree with that. But its the truth.

Today my dad is coming home for the first time in what feels like forever, and I cant wait to tell him that Im a Ranger, that Im making progress toward being just like him. Its the only way I can think of to make him proud. Maybe then, hell finally feel like getting to know me. Its the best chance I have.

Last night, my mom came into my room to talk. Her coat was covered in dust and her hair was wild and windblown. Shed been working up on the ridge all day. She told me there were a lot of orographic uplifts. Thats when mountains or other terrain forces air upward. I know things like that because she quizzes me on science stuff all the time. We learn some in school, of course, but she wants me to know more than that. She hopes someday Ill take over the turbine research division for her. Yeah right.

I get it. She respects what Dad does, but she wants me to be safe, and her work is important too. But I wish she would give it up. Cant she see I was born to be a Ranger? How could the only son of the Original Ghost be anything else? She wants me to believe I have options, but really, I dont. Not while the Skrel are still sending Ursa to kill our people and destroy our colony. Our safety has to come first. Thats why the Commander General is the true leader of Nova Prime, not the Primus, who leads our religion, or the Savant, the head scientist. Things like that are fine in peacetime, and I know they help people even now, but they arent what matters most. I want toI have todo what we need most. Even if it kills me. Mom knows me better than anyone else, but I dont know if she understands that.

She asked about my Ranger test. I didnt want to talk about it then. Sure I think I passed, but I dont want to assume anything. I told her my planto tell the Commander General on Senshis birthday that I got into the Ranger Program. Thats why hes coming home now, so we can all be together on my sisters birthday. I think it would help all of us, if we had something to celebrate on that day again.

Mom reminded me that not everyone makes Ranger on their first try, but that wont be me. Ive worked so hard for the chance to make my dad proud. Im not going to fail now.

I get into my uniform and head over to the Ranger Academy to get my results. On the way there, I pass a statue of my father in the quad, and then images of him carved into the walls of my school. Its weird seeing him everywhere, when I never actually see him in real life.

Not much longer to wait now. My stomach is all twisted up in knots. I shouldnt have any reason to worry.

No reason at all.

I want to scream. Commander Velan is the worst Ranger Instructor ever. My scores are better than everyones, and he fails me for it? I cant even believe it. Maybe hes jealous that Im so good. Maybe hes jealous of all of us Raigesa lot of people are, actually. Especially the Kincaids, but thats a story for another time. When Im less angry. Maybe when I tell my dad, hell see what a dumb decision Velan made, and hell overrule it. He could, if he wanted to. Hes the only one whos really in charge.

But no. My dadcorrection, the Commander Generalwould never do that. He trusts his people and he hardly even knows me, so why would he take my word over Velans? Hell think Im too young. That I cant handle being a Ranger yet. But I can. Maybe if Senshi were here, she could talk to him . But if Senshi were here, everything would be different. Then my dad would still care about me. Maybe hed even be here sometimes, if not for me, then for her at least .

Im not gonna cry on this recording. That is not conduct befitting a RangerI mean, a Cadet. Better try this later.

Okay. Calmer now.

Heres what happened: I went into Commander Velans office, expecting to be told Id passed my Ranger test.

He said, Your test scores are very impressive. In the classroom, you are an outstanding Ranger. But in the field, you collapse.

I couldnt believe what I was hearing.

And then he said the words I dreaded most, Im not advancing you.

It felt like a punch to the gut. It took everything I had not to double over, or fall to the floor, or scream in his face. But he kept talking, and I knew Id better listen. You are emotionally unpredictable. You have improper threat assessment and you confuse courage with recklessness, which, at the end of the day, is just a far more dangerous way of being scared. You may try again next year. Dismissed.

I was practically hyperventilating. This could not be happening. I wouldnt let it. Sir. Permission to address the Commander, sir, I said, keeping my voice as steady and clear as I could.

Denied, he said. But when he met my eyes, I thought I saw an invitation there so I rushed forward with my argument anyway. Sir, I am dedicated, have studied, and consistently displayed conduct becoming of a Ranger. I request that the Commander reconsider his assessment, sir. I stood there, shaking but trying not to let it show as I waited for his answer.

I understand what its like to see someone die, he said. I know what that does to you. I had half-expected a reprimand, half-expected him to change his mind. But I wasnt prepared for empathy.

I felt tears welling up at the kindness in his voice and fought them back. Sir, I said softly. My father is returning home tonight. I havent seen him I trailed off. I couldnt even remember exactly when I saw him last, but I didnt want to admit that. It was embarrassing to have so little connection to a man who everyone knew. Todays a special day for our family. And I