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John C. Friel Ph.D. - The 7 Worst Things Parents Do

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Psychologists John and Linda Friel have written an enormously readable and infinitely practical book that digs into some of the worst mistakes that parents make, with suggestions on how parents can change immediately. The Friels examine the seven most ineffective and self-defeating behaviors that parents display again and again. Working from the ideas that even small changes can have big results, the authors give parents concrete steps they can take to end the behaviors and improve the quality of their parenting. Whether readers are contemplating starting a family, have children who havent entered school yet, are struggling with rebellious teenagers, or are empty-nesters wondering how they can be better parents to their grown children, they cant afford not to read this book. With the same clarity and concrete examples that have sold over 350,000 copies of their books, the Friels offer readers forty years of combined experience as practicing psychologists, and fifty years of combined experience as blended-family parents. This material has been field-tested in the authors own household, with hundreds of their clients, and with thousands of their workshop and Clearlife Clinic participants. It will cause immediate changes in parents behavior, and immediate improvement in the lives of their children.

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title The 7 Worst Things Parents Do author Friel John C Friel - photo 1

title:The 7 Worst Things Parents Do
author:Friel, John C.; Friel, Linda D.
publisher:Health Communications, Inc.
isbn10 | asin:
print isbn13:9781558746688
ebook isbn13:9780585101552
language:English
subjectParenting, Parents--Attitudes, Parenting--Psychological aspects, Parent and child, Child rearing.
publication date:1998
lcc:HQ755.8.F75 1999eb
ddc:649/.1
subject:Parenting, Parents--Attitudes, Parenting--Psychological aspects, Parent and child, Child rearing.
Page i
The 7 Worst Things Parents Do
John C. Friel, Ph.D.
Linda D. Friel, M.A.
Picture 2
Health Communications, Inc.
Deerfield Beach, Florida
www.hci-online.com
Page ii
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Friel, John C.
The 7 worst things parents do/John C. Friel, Linda D. Friel.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 1-55874-668-4 (trade paper)
1. Parenting. 2. ParentsAttitudes. 3. ParentingPsychological
aspects. 4. Parent and child. 5. Child rearing. I. Friel, Linda D. II. Title.
III. Title: Seven worst things parents do.
HQ755.8.F75 1999
649'.1dc21 98-52824
CIP
1999 John Friel and Linda Friel
ISBN 1-55874-668-4
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
3201 S.W. 15th Street
Deerfield Beach, FL 33442-8190
Cover illustrations by Lisa Camp
Page iii
To all parents
Page iv
Other Books by the Authors
Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families
An Adult Child's Guide to What's "Normal"
The Grown-Up Man: Heroes, Healing, Honor, Hurt, Hope
Rescuing Your Spirit
The Soul of Adulthood: Opening the Doors
Page v
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments
vii
Warning/Disclaimer
ix
Part I: Get Ready
1. The Seven Worst Things Parents Do
3
2. The Rules of the Game
9
Part II: The Seven
3. Baby Your Child
19
4. Put Your Marriage Last
33
5. Push Your Child into Too Many Activities
47
6. Ignore Your Emotional or Spiritual Life
61
7. Be Your Child's Best Friend
81
8. Fail to Give Your Child Structure
103
9. Expect Your Child to Fulfill Your Dreams
121

Page vi
Part III: Go for It
10. If Rats Can Do It, So Can You
139
11. The Best Things About Parents Who Choose to Grow: A Typical Success Story
153
12. Some Final Parenting Pointers
171
References
181
Index
185

Page vii
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
We were about a fourth of the way through writing an entirely different book when our good friend and Clearlife/Lifeworks Clinic co-therapist, Mary Pietrini, suggested we write a parenting book based on all of the pertinent lecture material that she had heard during various clinic lectures over the past fourteen years. We have been working on it in our spare time ever since. We would like to thank Mary for working with us for so many years, and for knowing us and our work well enough to come up with that suggestion off the top of her head.
We would also like to thank James Maddock, Ph.D., University of Minnesota professor and clinical psychologist in private practice, for mentoring us over the many years that we have had the honor of knowing him. It is surely understatement to say that his competence, wisdom and professional integrity as both psychotherapist and teacher are remarkable. We especially appreciate the general comments that he made after reading one of the later drafts of this book.
Page viii
We want to thank all of the individuals, couples and families with whom we have had the honor to work over the years in our private practice in Minnesota, as well as all of the people who have attended our seminars and workshops on both sides of the Atlantic. The opportunity to present and discuss our ideas in a public format has served to keep us informed, refreshed and challenged. Thanks also to all those who have attended one of our three-and-a-half day Clearlife/Lifeworks Clinics. We want to be sure to thank all of you who took what must have felt like a big risk to attend one of these, searching for your path to move forward.
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