Deborah Gilboa - Get the Behavior You Want... Without Being the Parent You Hate!: Dr. Gs Guide to Effective Parenting

Praise for Get the Behavior You WantWithout Being the Parent You Hate!

As a TV host and Mom, I have interviewed many parenting experts. I appreciate straightforward information that I can apply the same day, and thats what I get from Dr. G. She is the on-call expert who gives bite-sized advice with big results. Her medical training coupled with her sense of humor and four kids of her own help me trust and like her! This book is chock full of her great advice, along with stories that help me remember what she recommends. I love having her on our show, and youll love having her on your nightstand!

Val Warner, co-host of Windy City LIVE

Truly comprehensive, humorous, and full of practical wisdom, Getting the Behavior You WantWithout Being the Parent You Hate! will help put the day-to-day challenges of parenting into perspective, whether youve got toddlers or teens. As someone who has been a parent I hate from time to time, I highly recommend this book to parents-to-be, parents in crisis, and parents who just want to feel like they can make a difference in their childrens lives.

Deesha Philyaw, co-author of Co-Parenting 101: Helping Your Kids
Thrive in Two Households After Divorce

Dr. G. successfully, succinctly, and with a touch of humor answers the question on every parents mind: How can I give my kids what they need, while they whine for what they want? Her book is full of advice and practical how-to-tips on how to guide your childrens behavior to build what she calls the 3 Rs: respect, responsibility and resilience. Her ultimate goal: to teach children (toddler to age 12) compassion and charity and to raise a generation that can look beyond themselves. I believe with this book in hand, parents have a shot at achieving this goal.

Estelle Erasmus, president, board of directors, Mothers & More,
Huffington Post contributor, and contributor to What Do Mothers Need?
Motherhood Activists and Scholars Speak Out on Maternal
Empowerment for the 21st Century

As a travel nanny I work with all kinds of families and deal with all kinds of behavior. Parents want practical ideas to get the job done, not a lot of philosophy. Get the Behavior You WantWithout Being the Parent You Hate delivers down-to-earth advice, examples, and clear guidelines. Dr. G makes it easy to identify your goals and how to accomplish them. And, I love that she breaks her advice down into age appropriate categories. Youll use this book for years to come.

Donna Robinson, The Traveling Nanny, 2008 Nanny of the Year

An in-the-trenches primer of real live opportunities and situations [to teach responsibility, respect, and resilience] told with humor and compassion by a woman raising four boys. From teaching table manners to the proper address of adults, chores to money management, and how to address boredom, aggression and those life is not fair moments, Dr. G provides a wealth of practical observation, advice and how-to suggestions. If the future you see for your children includes a successful launch as a young adult, and you are not sure how to get from here to there, pick up this book today. You wont regret it.

Kathy Webb, in-home childcare expert and co-founder,
HomeWork Solutions, Inc.

Also by Deborah Gilboa, MD:

Teach Respect: Thats My Kid! 50 Activities for Parents to Do with
Children

Teach Responsibility: Empower Kids with a Great Work Ethic!
50 Tasks for Children

Teach Resilience: Raising Kids Who Can Launch! 50 Actions
Parents Can Use

Get the Behavior You
Want Without Being the
Parent You Hate!

Dr. Gs Guide to Effective Parenting

Deborah Gilboa, MD

Visit our website at www.demoshealth.com

ISBN: 978-1-936303-71-7

e-book ISBN: 978-1-61705-214-9

Acquisitions Editor: Julia Pastore

Compositor: diacriTech

2014 Deborah Gilboa. All rights reserved. This book is protected by copyright. No part of it may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Front cover photo: Becky Thurner Braddock

Medical information provided by Demos Health, in the absence of a visit with a health care professional, must be considered as an educational service only. This book is not designed to replace a physicians independent judgment about the appropriateness or risks of a procedure or therapy for a given patient. Our purpose is to provide you with information that will help you make your own health care decisions.

The information and opinions provided here are believed to be accurate and sound, based on the best judgment available to the authors, editors, and publisher, but readers who fail to consult appropriate health authorities assume the risk of injuries. The publisher is not responsible for errors or omissions. The editors and publisher welcome any reader to report to the publisher any discrepancies or inaccuracies noticed.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Gilboa, Deborah.

Get the behavior you wantwithout being the parent you hate! : Dr. Gs guide to effective parenting / Deborah Gilboa, MD.

pages cm

Includes index.

ISBN 978-1-936303-71-7

1. Parenting. 2. Parent and child. I. Title.

HQ755.8.G5167 2014

649.1dc23

2014010813

Printed in the United States of America by McNaughton & Gunn.

14 15 16 17 18 / 5 4 3 2 1

Lets face it. It takes a lot of chutzpah to write a parenting book
while you are parenting someone.

Or have parents.

Or even know parents.

To Arthur Goldberg and Bernice Goldberg, who gave me
all I needed.

To Noam Gilboa, who knows me best and still chooses me, and
To Ari and Nadav and Oren and Gavri
(in order of appearance)
whom we are blessed to parent, and manage to test every idea
we have
about what that means.

To family made, and family found.

And to all the parents I know. You are the parenting experts on
your kids, and
Im grateful our kids get to keep fixing the world together.

Contents

Introduction

I am a parenting expert on the four kids who live in my house. You? Are a parenting expert on the kids who live in your home! No one knows the kids you love better, or cares more about their welfare, than you do. Even better, you are perfectly placed to raise those kids up to be adults you genuinely admire. You guide their behavior and choices as they progress from toddler to teen.

But how do we actually do this parenting stuff?

Well, Ive nagged, yelled at, threatened, and guilted my children to try to get them to behave well. Not all of the time, and usually not on purpose, but, just like many parents, Ive done all this and more. Not only do I feel really horrible about it afterwards, but (and here is the kicker) it doesnt work.