Table of Contents
What People Are Saying About
The 7 Best Things (Smart) Teens Do...
I wish this book had been available to me and my parents when I was a teen. Its a treasure trove of psychological wisdom and guidance for todays teens and their parents. I highly recommend it.
William Doherty, Ph.D.
professor of family social science, University of Minnesota,
and author of Take Back Your Kids: Confident Parenting in
Turbulent Times
In hindsight, my adolescence was marred by the extremes that both teachers and parents projected onto us teenagers, causing self-doubt and rigidity. Pity that the Friels were not publishing books when I was that confused teenager. Great work; keep it up.
Peter Charad
Bannockburn, Scotland
Finally, a teens guide to happiness and success! Destined to be a classic, this book teaches the wisdom of maturity with a genuine respect for youth. Required reading for teens, parents and all of those who have been either.
Pat Love, Ed.D. author of The Truth About Love
This book helps explain why it was all so difficult and why it neednt have been. I wish every parent could read it for their children and themselves. Its a second chance for all of us who have missed out on completing that second stage, to get through it and start to grow up.
Clare Trodden
Edinburgh, Scotland
Few people question the fact that young people are challenges. However, many more would question the fact that teenagers are challenges if they had the insights of Linda and John Friel. This book is must reading for both teens and parents. I especially liked the competence traps and the tips for teens.
Jon Carlson, Ph.D., Ed.D.
ABPP host of Parenting with the Experts and
distinguished professor at Governors State University
... the information is worthwhile, and if teens are motivated to read it, they just might find what they need to know to ease their lifes journey.
School Library Journal
What Teens Are Saying About
The 7 Best Things (Smart) Teens Do...
The messages in this book are so logically insightful that they seem like common sense. I readily identified with the inspirational intelligence this book has to offer.
Christopher Sheehy, 18
Dana Hills High School, California
The 7 Best Things (Smart) Teens Do is a clear, easy-to-read book which will help teenagers better understand themselves and help them relate to their parents.
Liz Chu
Roseville High School, Minnesota
Thank you for letting me read this wonderful book. The 7 Best Things (Smart) Teens Do should be required reading for high school health class.
Danny Suchy, 15
LaCrosse, Wisconsin, highest honor roll, varsity soccer and
tennis, academic/athletic award recipient, Eagle Scout
This book is funny at times, but also very serious. There is a great variety of stories and topics and a lot of great tips and advice. It is a very good book, and I highly recommend it to all ages.
John Giese, 18
Mora, Minnesota and freshman at St. Olaf College
Drawing from many resources, this book successfully deals with the challenges every teenager faces and communicates a respectful understanding from an older generation.
Laura Wonch, 18
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Praise for John and Linda Friels
The 7 Worst Things (Good) Parents Do...
John C. Friel, Ph.D. and Linda D. Friel, M.A. have managed to write a witty, informative how-to book on parenting. Distilling difficultand sometimes controversialsubject matter into easy-to-understand concepts is not easy. However, the authors... cover everything from the mental anguish caused by well-meaning parents to the principles of Skinners behaviorism, succinctly and completely.
Ruth Propper, Ph.D.
research fellow in cognition and neurophysiology,
Harvard Medical School
To all teenagers, their parents,
brothers and sisters, friends, teachers
and everyone else
who touches their lives
Other Books by the Authors
Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families
An Adult Childs Guide to Whats Normal
The Grown-Up Man: Heroes, Healing, Honor,
Hurt, Hope
Rescuing Your Spirit
The Soul of Adulthood: Opening the Doors
The 7 Worst Things (Good) Parents Do
PREFACE
In the Beginning
Lets work for a culture in which the incisive intellect, the willing hands and the happy heart are beloved.
Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia, 1994
Fred Smith was once a student at Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut. He turned in a term paper outlining a business plan for an outlandish conceptto ship packages overnight from a central distribution point in Memphis, Tennessee. His professor thought it was very flawed and gave Fred Smith a poor grade on the paper, but that didnt stop Fred Smith. He went on to found the Federal Express Corporationone of the most successful businesses in history. He must have had an incisive intellect.
Mother Teresa spent her entire adult life ministering to the sick and dying in the gutters of Calcutta, cleaning up vomit and cooling feverish brows so that the people she ministered to could die with dignity. She must have had willing hands and a happy heart.
Mary Pipher offers us a poignant challenge.
This book was meant to give you something to think about. It was designed to give you some facts and data and theories and ideas that have helped a lot of other people get themselves successfully into adulthood. It was designed to occasionally entertain you, and if it doesnt, we apologize. It was designed to touch your heart. Above all, it was designed to challenge and support you and your family, all at the same time.
During the Free Speech Movement and the Vietnam War protests of the 1960s, beloved San Francisco columnist Herb Caen was as supportive of young people as anyone over thirty could possibly be. While there were certainly aspects of the 1960s that were nothing more than a generation of indulged kids with nothing better to do than raise hell in public, there was nothing superficial or narcissistic about the horrors of the Vietnam War, nor about the Civil Rights Movement. There were real battles going on, for real principles, that have had lasting, positive effects on American society. Herb Caen sensed that there was something admirable and genuine about the young people of the 1960s, and he wasnt afraid to write about it. It felt good to have at least one grown-up on our side.
Now its the year 2000. As we put the finishing touches on this little book, we want to assure you that there are plenty of grown-ups on your side, and that we have the utmost faith in your ability to grow up yourselves and make the world a better place for yourselves and your children. We are both over the age of fifty now, and were pulling for you!
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
We would like to thank Peter Vegso, president of Health Communications, Inc., and Gary Seidler, now retired, for supporting our work for the past sixteen years. Having a publisher who believes that you have something worthwhile to say says it all. Peter and Gary, youre terrific.
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